i've never been in labor. i've never had a baby. so i can't answer to you specificly. but, i do want to answer this question:
Do you have a different experience?
i do have a different experience. i have noticed in my earth-wandering over the years, particularly since i was 8 or 9, that i have a vastly different experience than many of the woman in my culture. i have a different experience of what is happening (circumstances) and i have a different philosophical perspective than most people.
i am extremely attuned to my spirit and i absolutely cling to what my spirit guides me to do. even if it seems crazy, foolish, or out-and-out insane to an outside person, i am absolutely compelled to trust that spirit above all other things, and to follow the guidence of that spirit. for me, to do otherwise is foolish and imprudent to the extreme.
when i have not followed this spirit leading, i have found myself in circumstances that were not to my liking--internally and externally. i found myself personally alienated from my deepest self, as well as the world around me. i may not have been physically or emotionally wounded, but i knew that i crossed that 'something deeper' and did something that i should not have. it doesn't matter how insignificant.
there have also been times where i have followed this spirit leading even though everyone around me--family, friends, teachers, coworkers, fellow students, fellow religious folks, my culture at large, etc--told me that doing so would be absolutely disasterous and horrific. when i followed that spirit leading, i didn't know what the outcome would be, but it is always miraculous, beautiful, significant, beyond every expectation, and deeply peaceful. And, i often find it impacts other people too--they didn't expect such an outcome either, and it was a miracle for them as well.
because of this, i know that it is imperative that i birth as i see fit. UC makes absolute sense to me and seems perfectly right and perfectly natural. I know that at any moment during the birth that spirit will move me to act accordingly--according to whatever my need may be.
this takes us to this next question--would you be relying on your partner to get outside assistance if it were one of the rare emergency situations?
he too would follow the direction of my spirit--the direction that i would give. if i need his assistance to get outside help, then i would utilize him in that way. that is part of why he is there for me anyway, to be this sort of support. so if the spirit moves me to say i need help, then i'll ask him to get the help that i need. or maybe he'll be the help i need--i do not know.
but i trust my spirit. i know that it knows exactly what to do, what i need, and it will help me every step of the way. So, i'm not at all concerned about it. and there it is.
my husband, as devil's advocate, asks "what if you are incapacitated during birth?"
to which i answered, i deeply also trust his spirit. he is capable of making the right decision for me, and enlisting whatever help he deems is necessary. but again, he's not coming from a point of fear or prior-knowledge, but rather what is arising from his spirit in the moment. he has a natural capacity to make these decisions.
to further this, he said "that is not the question i asked--but rather, when would it be appropriate for my spirit to lead the decision making in this process?" he gave an example of a time when i had doubt about a decision, and his spirit said "absolutely, we must do this" and i trusted that inherently. should this situation arise in birth (self doubt or general doubt) then i would turn to his spirit to support us, particularly if his clarity was able to overide my doubt.
to describe this a bit more, i'll give a common example. in many situations, husbands are nto always "on board" with the wife's decision, nor does he trust her inherent ability and agency to make decisions. his own fears and acculturation cloud his spirit-based decision making process. in many cases, hsubands will adopt pre-determined phrases to 'support' the mother, or use the circumstance as an 'out' to "ha! i was right, now we do what i think i want to do."
to clarify this example, many women during transiton say "i cannot do this anymore!" and husbands are told to say "you are doing it!" or others say "good, then lets go to the hospital." neither of these are independent arisings of his spirit from a point of clarity--but something that is routine or something that is an 'out' for him to get what he thinks he wanted for that birth.
But, if a man is clear about his position--including his natural spirit position to protect his wife and child--then his spirit will provide the correct answer which could be anything from "you're doing great" to "lets go to the hospital."
but one will know it's right when it resonates beyond her own fear and doubt (and exhaustion)--it will resonate with her own calling, to which she is cloudy due to whatever reason. if he is clear, his clarity will ring like a crystal bell, supporting what her spirit is telling her but she is unable to hear.
thus, if i have doubt and he must make the decision, it will resonate with me, and i know that i can trust it inherently--as it comes from the spirit, which within each of us independently is also united in knowledge and purpose.