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Why UC?

post #1 of 35
Thread Starter 
I'm sure this question has been asked before... but why do you choose UC?

I was talking with dh about the concept, because he'd never heard of it. He wasn't particularly concerned about safety, as we both understand that it's not that difficult to pinpoint problems in labor. But he basically just wanted to know... why? What makes you choose UC over the other options? How is the experience different from, say, a homebirth with a lay midwife?

So, tell us curious people what makes you opt for UC.
post #2 of 35
There are several good threads on this topic . . . did you try doing a search? It is just hard to answer the same question so often.

We should really have the best thread on this as a sticky.

Julia
dd 1 year old
post #3 of 35
Thread Starter 
I was wondering why there was no sticky, too. Will search later...
post #4 of 35
I found this one, but it was kinda contentious. Not as much good info as one of the others that I remember, but hopefully it'll shed some light:

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=578325

HTH.

Julia
dd 1 year old
post #5 of 35
What a thread - whew!

I've had a homebirth with a lay midwife with my first and I transferred to the hospital for my second. The homebirth was far less interventive than my hospital birth, but it was still "managed". It just seems to me from my past experiences that with an attendant the birth becomes an "event". I don't want birth to be an event - events are stressful - even good events like a wedding. I want to have my baby the way I would take a crap - to be blunt. A trip to the restroom is not an event.

Events are exciting, and I can totally get making a big deal out of the birth of a child. But it doesn't feel natural to me. Animals don't make an event out of their births. They don't have guest lists and cooregraphed plans, they don't hire a photographer....

Nature doesn't work well when we act unnaturally.

Does that make sense? That's where I'm at. I want the birth of my baby to take place on a *normal* day - I want to be home with my kids and my husband. I want to be sheltered and nourished in our home - like every other day.

HTH
post #6 of 35
Huh -- somehow I missed that thread first time around. I'll have to go look at it and see if I have anything to add.

Here's a recent "Why UC?" thread: http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=568793

and another: http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=583393
post #7 of 35
Thread Starter 
Thanks... I searched but it was hard to find them!
post #8 of 35
Thanks, fourlittlebirds. Those were the ones I was thinking of.

Julia
dd 1 year old
post #9 of 35
i'm a very independent spirit and not fond of strangers. it simply doesn't make sense to me to pay someone to be around for something that is very personal and spiritual for me. particularly when it's likely that person will 'take over' and tell me how to birth, rather than simply support my own birthing process.
post #10 of 35
I have had three hospital births and each time have felt that I was overcontrolled and during my last birth when I said no I didn't want a shot of pitocin in my leg after a fast vaginal birth I was told I needed it as they injected me.The inexperience of the staff with pain med free births and the aftermath has turned me off.The idea of all the SOP procedures that are done to mamas in labor just because angers me.I did try to do a home birth during my last pregnancy but was turned down by the only MW who served that area becuase I was taking BP meds at the time that was unrelated to pregnancy and actually wnet down during my pregnancy and I am now off of the meds.I thought about UC and lurked but ended up following along with my family's expectations.I am not doing that again unless there is an emergency.I know my body has no problems during labor and I just do not want to deal with hurrying up to get in a car and drive to a hospital while I am contracting having the fools not beleive that I am in labor and trying to hook me up to stuff just because that is the only way they know how to birth.I am staying home and birthing in private and then I'm going to cuddle up in my own bed.
post #11 of 35
Great question! I'm with Zoebird! Not only do I want my birth to be peaceful and private, but I couldn't stand for someone else, let alone a stranger, to be managing the birth, telling me what to do, checking my cervix etc. All these things, and even the presence of another person could interfere with my own ability to listen to and focus on what my body, my baby and my intuition are trying to tell me. I am the one birthing this baby and therefore, no one else but me should try to control it.
post #12 of 35
I don't have a lot of time to post right now, but you can find several short essays why I chose UC on my blog (http://rixarixa.blogspot.com). I started it a few months before I gave birth (Halloween 2006!!).
post #13 of 35
I am sure I have answered this question several times over the last year. But here is my general answer.

I UC because it is what I want. I don't want other people hanging around, telling me what to do, ordering me around. I don't want to have to fight for my rights while trying to have a baby. I don't want anyone with me except my DH and my children. I want a peaceful atmosphere. I want a "normal" atmosphere. I don't want to have to depend on someone else coming "in time" to be there. I don't want unnecessary interventions.

When I have people over, no matter who they are, I feel the need to be "hostess". So I could never relax with a MW or anyone else around. I am also a very private person, a very modest person. And I am not comfortable around other people with minimal (or no) clothing on.

And basically, I am the one giving birth, I want things to be the way I want them; and if I have to leave my home, or if I have to have someone else come into my home to "assist" me, then I will inevitably give in and do things that I do not want to because I don't want to deal with confrontation. So I remove all confrontation by removing all unnecessary persons (that being everyone other than my DH and children).
post #14 of 35
Thread Starter 
This is all very interesting to me - thank you for sharing!

My birth experience (birth center with a midwife) was very positive and serene (she basically left me and Dh alone until it was time to push, and then she guided me when I felt uncertain a few points along the way). So I've never experienced any of the more extreme examples of why some women dislike having a mw or OB present, obviously.

That said, I think the only concerns I'd have (for myself) would be a true emergency (like prolapsed cord or pp hemmhorage), because I remember my state of mind late in labor and I don't think I would have had the inner resources to figure out what to do. I know a lot of women have those bursts of adreneline after they give birth, but I was just worn out! I actually barely wanted to hold my baby after the first few minutes, because I was just so exhausted. Dh had to hold him until I could rest a bit.

Do you have a different experience? Or would you be relying on your partner to get outside assistance if it were one of the rare emergency situations?

I just felt like I was SO much outside my own body and mind during labor that I couldn't have easily come back inside to make critical decisions in an emergency. Of course, I've never been in an emergency situation like that, and maybe instinct would totally take over.

What has your experience been like, in labor? Similar or very different?

Thank you for your willingness to explain your choices... obviously we all have our own personal biases, but I hope that I haven't asked anything in an offensive way.
post #15 of 35
i've never been in labor. i've never had a baby. so i can't answer to you specificly. but, i do want to answer this question:

Do you have a different experience?

i do have a different experience. i have noticed in my earth-wandering over the years, particularly since i was 8 or 9, that i have a vastly different experience than many of the woman in my culture. i have a different experience of what is happening (circumstances) and i have a different philosophical perspective than most people.

i am extremely attuned to my spirit and i absolutely cling to what my spirit guides me to do. even if it seems crazy, foolish, or out-and-out insane to an outside person, i am absolutely compelled to trust that spirit above all other things, and to follow the guidence of that spirit. for me, to do otherwise is foolish and imprudent to the extreme.

when i have not followed this spirit leading, i have found myself in circumstances that were not to my liking--internally and externally. i found myself personally alienated from my deepest self, as well as the world around me. i may not have been physically or emotionally wounded, but i knew that i crossed that 'something deeper' and did something that i should not have. it doesn't matter how insignificant.

there have also been times where i have followed this spirit leading even though everyone around me--family, friends, teachers, coworkers, fellow students, fellow religious folks, my culture at large, etc--told me that doing so would be absolutely disasterous and horrific. when i followed that spirit leading, i didn't know what the outcome would be, but it is always miraculous, beautiful, significant, beyond every expectation, and deeply peaceful. And, i often find it impacts other people too--they didn't expect such an outcome either, and it was a miracle for them as well.

because of this, i know that it is imperative that i birth as i see fit. UC makes absolute sense to me and seems perfectly right and perfectly natural. I know that at any moment during the birth that spirit will move me to act accordingly--according to whatever my need may be.

this takes us to this next question--would you be relying on your partner to get outside assistance if it were one of the rare emergency situations?

he too would follow the direction of my spirit--the direction that i would give. if i need his assistance to get outside help, then i would utilize him in that way. that is part of why he is there for me anyway, to be this sort of support. so if the spirit moves me to say i need help, then i'll ask him to get the help that i need. or maybe he'll be the help i need--i do not know.

but i trust my spirit. i know that it knows exactly what to do, what i need, and it will help me every step of the way. So, i'm not at all concerned about it. and there it is.

my husband, as devil's advocate, asks "what if you are incapacitated during birth?"

to which i answered, i deeply also trust his spirit. he is capable of making the right decision for me, and enlisting whatever help he deems is necessary. but again, he's not coming from a point of fear or prior-knowledge, but rather what is arising from his spirit in the moment. he has a natural capacity to make these decisions.

to further this, he said "that is not the question i asked--but rather, when would it be appropriate for my spirit to lead the decision making in this process?" he gave an example of a time when i had doubt about a decision, and his spirit said "absolutely, we must do this" and i trusted that inherently. should this situation arise in birth (self doubt or general doubt) then i would turn to his spirit to support us, particularly if his clarity was able to overide my doubt.

to describe this a bit more, i'll give a common example. in many situations, husbands are nto always "on board" with the wife's decision, nor does he trust her inherent ability and agency to make decisions. his own fears and acculturation cloud his spirit-based decision making process. in many cases, hsubands will adopt pre-determined phrases to 'support' the mother, or use the circumstance as an 'out' to "ha! i was right, now we do what i think i want to do."

to clarify this example, many women during transiton say "i cannot do this anymore!" and husbands are told to say "you are doing it!" or others say "good, then lets go to the hospital." neither of these are independent arisings of his spirit from a point of clarity--but something that is routine or something that is an 'out' for him to get what he thinks he wanted for that birth.

But, if a man is clear about his position--including his natural spirit position to protect his wife and child--then his spirit will provide the correct answer which could be anything from "you're doing great" to "lets go to the hospital."

but one will know it's right when it resonates beyond her own fear and doubt (and exhaustion)--it will resonate with her own calling, to which she is cloudy due to whatever reason. if he is clear, his clarity will ring like a crystal bell, supporting what her spirit is telling her but she is unable to hear.

thus, if i have doubt and he must make the decision, it will resonate with me, and i know that i can trust it inherently--as it comes from the spirit, which within each of us independently is also united in knowledge and purpose.
post #16 of 35
I uc'ed because I have, since a teenager, and possibly longer, felt a very strong urge to birth without intervention or interference or demeaning attitudes. I read so many books on childbirth back then, always angry at the way women were being denied autonomous births and being treated like dirt, something in my core self was just reeling at the thought of women going through the brutality and insensitivity, the controlling and potentially dangerous treatment often dished out to them in childbirth( and in other areas of life) I'm still reeling. Still angry. After my first dd was born in hospital after being forced into transferring from my planned hb for nothing more than 'failure to birth in their time limit' I knew that I would uc my next baby. And I did, and with my next too. I attempted to leave the hospital but it was 4am when I got there and I had been transported 70 miles from my home but I would still have walked out if I thought I had someplace safe to go. I felt completely different through uc pregnancy and birth. I wasn't watched, my body wasn't invaded, I birthed in a primal way as felt right for me, outside with uc#1 and in back of a truck with uc#2 but only cos there were no trees outside with #2 and it was pretty cold, December. I mean docs and mw's are very unlikely to 'allow' you to follow your true instincts. I felt confident at all times, I loved that I wasn't scared, I was more excited! I felt the whole experience was mine and mine alone, I was no longer on the birth conveyer belt, I didn't get depressed after probably cos I had a good birthing. I felt very happy with myself for taking the power back and for taking responsibility for myself and my babies. I felt healed after the trauma of the treatment I recieved with my first birth. I wish I could have had more babies cos I would definitely uc'ed. Oh and I just cannot have other people around me at a time like childbirth, I really ,really need to be alone or maybe someone I trust but personally I'd rather be alone.
post #17 of 35
Quote:
Originally Posted by ruhbehka View Post
My birth experience (birth center with a midwife) was very positive and serene (she basically left me and Dh alone until it was time to push, and then she guided me when I felt uncertain a few points along the way). So I've never experienced any of the more extreme examples of why some women dislike having a mw or OB present, obviously.
Not every choice to UC is based in a reaction to a bad experience with a doctor or midwife. I myself had a very empowering birth with a midwife, and still chose to give birth without a midwife the next two times.

Quote:
That said, I think the only concerns I'd have (for myself) would be a true emergency (like prolapsed cord or pp hemmhorage),
That was my only concern as well. I eventually learned enough about these things to know what to do if they were to occur, but also I felt that the risk from them in my case was far less than the risk of the presence of a medical attendant interfering with the hormonal process.

Quote:
I know a lot of women have those bursts of adreneline after they give birth, but I was just worn out!
The ability of the body to release adrenaline is not dependent on how much energy the mother is already working with -- it is dependent on the chemical choreography of the birth being undisturbed, and is what gives the mother energy. I worked very hard during my births and was pretty exhausted (my first UC was 32 hours, and my second was two nights of prodomal labor, followed by a third full night of labor before the birth) but because the hormonal process was undisturbed my body was able to send me that burst of adrenaline at the end.

Quote:
I just felt like I was SO much outside my own body and mind during labor that I couldn't have easily come back inside to make critical decisions in an emergency. Of course, I've never been in an emergency situation like that, and maybe instinct would totally take over.
Yes, that's the idea. My husband and I have both been in emergency situations in which instinct took over, and we went on auto-pilot. We weren't sitting there all logical and detached, thinking, oh yes, this is what you do that happens. The body reacts automatically with the knowledge it has been born with and accumulated, including intuited, primal, and intellectual. (I've heard midwives say this as well, about emergencies in births they've attended.) I haven't been in an emergency situation in birth, but my undisturbed births were strongly guided by my instinct, which helped keep them normal, and I do believe that in an emergency situation my inner knowing would have guided me to do the most appropriate thing.
post #18 of 35
Quote:
Originally Posted by ruhbehka View Post
My birth experience (birth center with a midwife) was very positive and serene (she basically left me and Dh alone until it was time to push, and then she guided me when I felt uncertain a few points along the way). So I've never experienced any of the more extreme examples of why some women dislike having a mw or OB present, obviously.

That said, I think the only concerns I'd have (for myself) would be a true emergency (like prolapsed cord or pp hemorrhage)
First, I just wanted to say that I have brought seven living children into this world, and I have had every one of them at home and only one of them with a MW (#5). So I, also, never had any reason to dislike having a MD or OB.

I just remember when I was pg with my first, it didn't feel "normal" to be rushed to a hospital for JUST having a baby. So, when I found out I was pg, I knew I wanted a HB. And quite honestly, I never even thought about a MW. If someone had mentioned one to me (which no one ever did), I would have thought it was an ancient practice no longer used today. I have learned a lot since that time. The one time that I did use a MW it was a waste of my time and money. She was good. Very hands off, just like I wanted. But I had already had four babies without one. The ONLY thing that she did was teach me about an after birth herbal sitz bath. So as nice as she was, I decided I would never have another one. She was only there an hour anyways.

As for your concerns of a prolapse cord or hemorrhaging, they are important to know a bit about, but you don't really have to worry about them. In most of the cases of prolapse and pph, it is medical intervention that has caused it. And by removing the medical interventions, you reduce your danger dramatically.

However, like pp said, in an emergency situation, autopilot usually kicks in and you do what had to be done without even thinking. I have no experience with hospital births, but I have had one birth turn emergency when my daughter was born not breathing. You just do what you have to do without thinking. I have also had my share of non-birth emergencies, and the same thing happens. It is just part of our human nature, I guess.
post #19 of 35
Instead of looking at it as "disliking" having an attendant, try on this thought - "I *like* being alone." They are completely different concepts.

Also - not every birth is the same. I felt like I had been beaten with a stick after my first birth. (Even so, I caught my own baby even though I had a midwife and had a 1/2 hour or so of feeling pretty perky.) After my second I didn't have *anything* to complain about - I went to sleep for a few hours, and woke up feeling better than the day before. No stinging when I urinated - no need for a peri bottle, no problem sitting, walking... I was in the hospital and up, showered and dressed before the doctor came in my room to tell me I could stay another day if I wanted.
post #20 of 35
I chose UP/UC because I felt capable of taking care of myself and my baby. I did not feel like I needed any help, and to have a near-stranger in my house would have been a real intrusion. Had I needed outside assistance, I would have gotten it, but I was able to handle everything that came up on my own.
Prenatal care from anyone else would have been pointless, since there was nothing I would have consented to that I couldn't do myself.
If I have another baby I think I will hire a doula, because I could have used more physical and emotional support (backrubs, etc). I know enough doulas that I could pay a friend to be there. But having a midwife would take some freedom and control away from me, that I wouldn't want to give up.
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