Originally Posted by ruhbehka
I just felt like I was SO much outside my own body and mind during labor that I couldn't have easily come back inside to make critical decisions in an emergency. Of course, I've never been in an emergency situation like that, and maybe instinct would totally take over.
What has your experience been like, in labor? Similar or very different?
I had a UC/hospital transfer. I transferred after 19 hrs labor. I had almost 8 hrs excruciating transition/pushing ctx; apparently it was a small lip of cervix that was taking forever to go away.
Anyway, my experience was both just like yours AND the complete opposite.
When I was at home and laboring, I was in complete control. I was working really, really hard, but I was perfectly aware, totally lucid and tuned into the birth, and very conscious and aware of my state and the baby's state. I finally decided to go to the hospital b/c I felt the baby should have been born by then (with the sensations I'd been having for hours) and because I was becoming exhausted and either needed to get some relief or for labor to be over relatively soon. I don't think it in any way suggests UC is unsafe that I realized when I needed to do something different in labor and chose to call my doctor and go to the hospital.
However, once I was at the hospital, I suddenly discovered how suggestible I was. I agreed to anything and everything. I felt like I had no control unless someone gave it to me. I felt (searching my memories here - these were not conscious thoughts) lost, naive, taken care of. I felt very grateful that all these people were here to tell me what to do and to get this over with (because I was soooooo ready to be done). In the end, little was done except external monitors were placed, the doctor pushed the lip of cervix out of the way, and I pushed the baby out in 25 min. While pushing, I was able to do as suggested ("slow down now and push the baby's head out with little pushes"). I was still conscious, but I could not argue or come out of that haze to defend myself against anything. Dh said he tried to disagree with a couple of things that were happening, but I said it was "okay." He actually said that my level of submission was truly frightening to him; that I didn't expect such a transformation and he'd never seen me like that. I don't remember it quite that way, but I believe him.
So yes and no. The UC part of my birth was mine. I was in complete control, conscious, tuned in, and able to make decisions. I didn't physically feel any different when at the hospital, but suddenly deferred to everyone's "suggestions." That bothers me. I think that's one reason why I'm really considering UC again, even though at first I was hesitant. I know that I would have been able to make a smart, educated, thoughtful, and instinctive decision in an emergency at home. I know what I would have done in a cord prolapse or pp hemorrhage situation - dh and I had discussed both of those, and many others, prior to the birth. I wasn't "counting" on him to handle an emergency unless I became unresponsive, but I think that we would have taken remedial action before that happened. I also felt very strongly that we greatly reduced our risk of any complication arising by having a UC and avoiding medical, psychological, and physiological interference with the birth process.
I don't think it's so much that you would have come back to your own body/mind in an emergency, but that you would never have left. Not in the way that you do when attended by a professional.
That's just how I see it from my own experience, and I've heard very similar stories from others who have had both a hospital birth and UC.
dd 1 year old