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General Ezzo warning

post #1 of 18
Thread Starter 
This address has been forwarded to me by a concerned member of MDC. http://www.parentwisesolutions.com/j...uctlisting.jsp

It appears that this widely discredited self proclaimed child disciplinarian has found a method to peddle his inhumane methodology.

While I know that many on this board are familiar with his reassuring brutality towards children, there may be others that are unaware of the damage caused by many of the methods he sells in his books.

Become aware. Discuss. Question.

Those that encounter proponents of his ways, a simple "Oh, but he's been totally discredited!" will see you through.

post #2 of 18

guided or enslaved to the infant's unknown needs

I dunno, I don't think I've ever felt enslaved by my baby's need to eat!!!:
post #3 of 18
My favorite part of his book is where he says sleeping with your child is passive agressive abuse as it will cause them sleep problems for the rest of their lives if you don't force them to sleep in a crib.
post #4 of 18
They should call his books: Baby Unwise.

Or better yet: Baby Stupid.

post #5 of 18
Has anyone read the Childwise book? Since that is my kids ages right now, I'd love to know what sort of ridiculous drivel he is peddling in that peice of kindling
post #6 of 18
"guided or enslaved to the infant's unknown needs"..

Hmmm, well at least he's admitting he's completely ignorant of what a baby needs.... :LOL

seriously though, what a sadist!!
post #7 of 18
OMG what is wrong with that man. You guys all know that I am the big "CIO nut" But sleep thu the night at 7 weeks? My kids got up to eat until they were about 6 mos old when they both stopped eating during the night (maybe because they weighed 20 lbs and really did not need it.

And who needs to schedule a baby? After a while they just kinda schedule themselves. Before they do, its really not hard to go with the flow.
post #8 of 18
Whoa, this stuff is scary! I hadn't read about him except people discussing him here, on MDC.

This quote freaks me out:

For the pretoddler, mealtime is part of a very complex, conscious interaction between what the child does and what his parents expect him to do. Right and wrong conduct will be encouraged, discouraged, and guided when necessary. In fact, right and wrong patterns of behavior will now be part of your baby's entire day.
Putting aside the obvious problems with his English, I read this as saying he advises you how to punish your five month old baby if he eats "wrong." By caliing a baby a "pre-toddler" he's trying to give the impression that a 5 month old is very developmentally advanced, enough to intentionally "eat wrong." He also refers to your child's babyhood as "your tour of parenting duty." The mom as drill sargeant, now there's a metaphor.

So people really believe this stuff?
post #9 of 18
I was given his Baby Wise Book I when I had ds, I did research on it and I found MORE Negative links than positive. The one that did me in talked about how babies were not suppose to make a mess while eating (ok, what 6 month old doesn't do a mess????) and they had a news article about a couple who TIERD the baby to the high chair so that the arms wouldn't get in the way of the parent feeding the child!!!!! We threw the book out after that! (Yes I did read some of it too)...
post #10 of 18
I was kicked out of a church over Ezzo.

Just the mere mention of his name, the word, Babywise, or Prep. for Parenting or GKGW raises the hackles and provokes the gag reflex.

Yes, A, people should *educate* themselves and not be afraid to opine I just don't understand why Ezzoites feel free to spew their opinions but people who have concerns about this warped teaching are kept silent!!!

post #11 of 18
No mess while eating??? I make a mess eating. NOt as big of one as DD but surely a mess. If you've worked in a restaurant, you'd realize everyone else does too! And how can you expect a child to eat if they can't explore their food a little. Once it looked so appealing to really get your fingers in the pudding that I did it too. It was good

And although DD does like a routine and some predictability in her life, that didn't really come about till later and I am certainly not a nut about it.
post #12 of 18
oh well, by golly, that must be what is wrong with all of us. we weren't ezzofied when we were babies. maybe that's why i'm a heathen and a slob. this guy is just proof that any nut job out there can write a book and somebody, somewhere will be gullible enough to swallow it. such a sad commentary on sheeple.:
post #13 of 18
No mess while eating??? I make a mess eating.

You know, I had never heard of Ezzo before coming to these boards, sounds pretty horrid to me from what you all are saying.
post #14 of 18

oh well, by golly, that must be what is wrong with all of us. we weren't ezzofied when we were babies. maybe that's why i'm a heathen and a slob. this guy is just proof that any nut job out there can write a book and somebody, somewhere will be gullible enough to swallow it. such a sad commentary on sheeple.
I agree... this guy is a total

post #15 of 18
Gary Ezzo..where do I start???

The church that dh and I moved 12 hours from family and friends to minister at teaches Growing Kids Gods Way...and Babywise. Needless to say the church reeks of it

You hear it in their dialogue, their attitude toward their children, and even the way they walk (not really but its very obvious) My mom visited the church and after about 10 minutes in the nursery with ds she came up to me and said, "Wow, that Ezzo stuff is deep here" And that was from just OBSERVING!

They all freak out at me because of the way we raise ds....they don't know that both Dh and ds are unvaxed...if they ever do they'll probably fire u anyway!

As for baby's not making a mess....they really dont! I was watching a little girl same age as ds. She ate perfect. Not a single crumb on the tray, nothing on the floor, and barely a mess on her hands. I have to admit it was nice...but I'm afraid to think of how they got her there! they don't let her eat with them. they feed her before and then she sits in the highchair and "watches" them eat.

I'm kinda ready to get out of here just to get away from all of this!

When we interviewed we knew they were teaching the class and brought some disturbing info to the preaching Minister and he blew it off. come to find out this is how he raised his kids. He even gave one of the Ezzo parents a book to read that he found "very helpful" and even she was appauled at what was in there! Basically give your child what they can't have and then smack the crap out of them for touching it!

They are really big into scheduled bedtimes too. When they here that ds goes to bed between 9 and 11 they all just rolled teir eye. the Preaching ministers wife was like "He needs a bed time. He'll get it eventually" !!!

Her kids go to bed at 7:30. they get up clean up their mess and go to bed without a word...her kids are 7 and 10..you would think there would be SOME fight...but I guess I'd be afriad of her too!!

Anyway, I have a much longer rant about all this...and I guess I'm just now reaizing how much it aggrivates me! I SO cannot wait to get out of there! the problem is that the majority of them are good ppl and even good parents but they were betrayed but a dimwit named Gary Ezzo!
post #16 of 18
You laugh b/c it's so absurd, but what about a new mother who's scared of the unknown and wants to do the "right"thing. If it's in print, then, well, it must be "right," right?

I have a friend whose mw is actually an Ezzo fan, if you can believe that. She homebirths the child and then tucks it into its little crib before leaving.

Plus, if a new mom feels so overwhelmed and sleep deprived AND has no support group, I can see how it would be seductive.

Thank God my kiddoes epitomize the Anti Ezzo philosophy.
post #17 of 18
Well, I can see how you want to get advice and it is too bad we need to get it from books. I surely got my information from books for the most part till I discovered the internet as the greatest source of parenting advice (MDC in particular). I actually got confused after some time with all the different advice there was in books. If there was one "right" thing, wouldn't all the books say the same thing? It wasn't till later that I discovered that there is a right thing, but it is never the same for everyone. It is the right thing for me and my baby. And getting advice from other people gives the range of options that you need to choose from to figure out what is right.
But at some point, doesn't it just feel wrong to do that? Letting them cry, smacking them etc. I have been nowhere close to the perfectly calm and sensitive and perfect mother but I have not treated DD that way. I have lost my temper and been upset at the mess or throwing of food, but usually I have a snese of humor aobut it.
And I don't see how I could get DD to sleep at such an early time. She goes to sleep when she is tired and does have a bedtime. Since it is late she needs to entertain herself because I have things Ineed to get done and I can't play with her all the time.
I haven't read Ezzo and I admit I am curious about it. But I am not spending any money buying that book.
He must justify it all over the place that you treat your kids that way so you swallow your own pain...
Well, some random thoughts. Babbling, you know, I do that...
post #18 of 18
Beth, I checked out Childwise from the library. I'll let you know what it says when I get to it.

I read Babywise II first. They say in the beginning that you need to teach moral behaviors even though kids this age cannot understand morality. 1) Why is bedtimes and not making a mess while eating moral behavior? 2) Doesn't this teach kids blind obedience rather than how to use good judgement? Very dangerous. I agree that this style of parenting works, but "at what cost?" as an anti-Ezzo article asks. I think parents need to think about what kind of adults they want their children to become rather than what kind of kids would make their lives easier. I want my child to be a leader, not a follower. I want him to take a stand for what is right, not go along with what someone tells him to because he is afraid to disobey.

I am still struggling to make it through Babywise. It is infuriating because he states his opinions as if they were facts, making it sound so convincing and hard to argue against. There is some stuff so stupid, I can't even think how to begin to explain why it is wrong. But I can totally see how it would sucker in the insecure parent, who is already hearing from the outside world
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