trapped

[jeteaa]

my 8 month old and I have gotten into a nursing routine that is kind of stressing me out. She will ONLY nurse in bed at am and pm nap times and at night. Overall she is nusing about 5 times in 24 hrs and LOVES solids, so I'm not worried about her nutritional needs (she is a chunk).... but I have a 32 month old who needs to get out of the house a few time a week (with myself and dd2). I FEEL TRAPPED. we can't leave the house until dd2 nurses and naps, anywhere from 9am to 11. Then depending on how am nap went, we need to be home by 1:30 to 2. AND if she even falls asleep in the van for a few minutes, she won't take an afternoon nap (which messes up the night) and won't nurse well in the afternoon. I will nurse any time, anywhere .... So what I need to know is: if I know we are going to go for the day or traveling, do I pump in the morning and cup feed her? or just not worry that she has gone without nursing for 12 hours, and prepare for a crappy night of waking and nursing often? then do I feed her more solids during our busy day? HELP.

[Rockies5]

Originally Posted by jeteaa

my 8 month old and I have gotten into a nursing routine that is kind of stressing me out. She will ONLY nurse in bed at am and pm nap times and at night. Overall she is nusing about 5 times in 24 hrs and LOVES solids, so I'm not worried about her nutritional needs (she is a chunk).... but I have a 32 month old who needs to get out of the house a few time a week (with myself and dd2). I FEEL TRAPPED. we can't leave the house until dd2 nurses and naps, anywhere from 9am to 11. Then depending on how am nap went, we need to be home by 1:30 to 2. AND if she even falls asleep in the van for a few minutes, she won't take an afternoon nap (which messes up the night) and won't nurse well in the afternoon. I will nurse any time, anywhere .... So what I need to know is: if I know we are going to go for the day or traveling, do I pump in the morning and cup feed her? or just not worry that she has gone without nursing for 12 hours, and prepare for a crappy night of waking and nursing often? then do I feed her more solids during our busy day? HELP.

It's a preference to nurse in bed, so just live your life. If she really needs to nurse, she will do so while you are out and about or even in the living rom. It's not good for the two of you to be so rigid about anything. I mean, I understand some people like a routine at naptimes but to insist on nursing
only in the one spot it really weird. I'd challenge it (outside of naps and bedtime routine) because it simply isn't a functional way to live.

I have one child who was specific to the point of being disabled. By 2 he actually could not EAT or drink unless the circumstances and ritual of routine were perfect. It got the point where it was disrupting the entire family (it wasn't only meals but his whole life; bathrooming, brushing hair, playing...just EVERYTHING) He was also exceptionally gifted and I know the two were related.

If it were me, I'd gently nip this in the bud: Just make it OKAY to mix it up and be flexible in life, take small steps and be CALM. She'll follow your lead. Stay positive and try to make it fun. Babies follow our lead.

All children thrive on routine and being able to anticipate what's next, but you sound like your feeling like a prisioner.

[willoLevin]

I would agree with trying to gently shift your routine a bit, just to make it flexible enough for the whole family to thrive.

I would guess this will be easier at 8 months old than with a toddler (or older!) child.

Good luck.

--willo