What are your definitions of a "spirited child"?

[swampangel]

I have never been drawn to labels and never thought of my son as spirited. But recently, it has occurred to me that perhaps he would fit the definition of a "spirited child".

He's very intense at times, sensitive, smart and has very big emotions - both positive and negative. Sometimes he gets "stuck" in his emotions and has a hard time moving on from disappointment.

This idea of moving on from disappointment has been a big one for us lately because it is clear that he is uncomfortable in these situations and he really needs our help and coaching to learn how to navigate those kinds of emotional moments. I had a hard time figuring this out because my tendency is to empathize, validate and label his emotions and assume that with that he will work it out. But he hasn't and I think he's really needing our help.

Anyway, these things got me thinking about this idea of a spirited child. Just curious how you all are defining it.

[blsilva]

Wow, you could be describibg my oldest son!
For us, it was always apparent that ds was just a little bit more. He is intense in his reactions, sensitive, cannot shift his focus easily, etc. He is so active I think somedays that I will fall over before he goes to sleep at night.
When I read Raising Your Spirited Child, it just kind of clicked. He fit every description she gave, as if she knew him. And I liked the word "spirited". It was so much more positive than other things people around us were using- difficult, stubborn, etc. I am not real fond of labels, either, but I do like having a word I can use to describe him that is not negative.

[swampangel]

Thanks for your thoughts, Brandi. I'll have to get that book.

I find that my son falls into these descriptions at times but not all the time. Like right now, we're working on transitioning a little more gracefully. Whenever we have to leave somewhere fun, it can turn into a big ordeal. I don't think it's comfortable for him and my giving him room to work through it hasn't really helped him. He just gets stuck in the emotion.

So now we're preparing him more and talking about ways he can manage his feelings...I certainly don't want to discourage his feelings, but I want him to be able to handle disappointment without coming unglued every time. So far, it seems to be working pretty well. However, I really don't want to stifle him either. It's so hard to strike the balance.

Anyway, thanks for posting!

[^guest^]

Imagine you are a nerve ending. Most nerve endings are nicely covered with layers of tissue, fat, skin. That buffer allows them to send normal signals that everyone can handle. Once you take off those buffers and leave the nerve exposed, EVERYTHING becomes more intense. That's what I think my definition of a spirited child (I know, it's not that great, but I think in concepts and pictures that are hard to word, lol). I'm a spirited adult introvert, my daughter a spirited extrovert. It's.....maddening at times, lol. We both feel things SO strongly, but process those intense emotions differently.

[newmommy]

DS has been "Spirited" from Birth.

Dr Sears gave me comfort when I read his "list" and I knew that some kids are just "more"

Here's the List: http://www.askdrsears.com/html/5/t050400.asp

[swampangel]

Great list...my ds is not "spirited" by these definitions. He can get very intense at times, but I suppose most kids can.

Anyway, thanks for the info!