Weekly Thread March 19-25 - Page 3

[PatchChild]

Whitewax,

As hard as it is, I'd listen to the ladies here and move past him. Actions really do speak louder than words and in your DP's case, those actions are very loud.


It's nice to see so many people having a smoother week now that spring is starting to roll around. Something about growing plants and greener grass can make all the difference.

Fun and excitement for me, we put in the wood floor in the baby room this weekend. It looks fantastic and I'm off the walls excited. I even got to help, although my father had been telling me no way for the weeks leading up to the project. A nailer with an air compressor and yes, even a pregnant landy can install flooring. I didn't get in their way long, but it's nice to be able to say that I helped.

[willoLevin]

I was so happy to see our first flowers (2 snowdrops) on Thursday, then several more bunches of crocus popped up Friday.

It is so much easier to get around (and get DS in and out of the car) with the snow almost completely melted.

Today I am using foam hole filler (caulk saver) filling in the large gaps our energy audit discovered under each of the family room's 6 windows. I also tried running beads of silicone caulk on some of the gaps between our paneling, but it is pretty stinky, and we just wanted to try it in one inconspicuous corner first to see how it looks.

I am so ACTIVATED to do home improvement projects, but simultaneously so clumsy, waddling, and ungainly. At least stuffing these cracks is a nice, peaceful project for me. I just have to sit on the floor and shift positions every few feet I get done.

--willo

[Corri]

Sunday is chores day around here - we're on the go all week and Saturday is our day of rest, so today was four loads of laundry, DH doing the dishes for 45 minutes, vacuuming, moving bedroom furniture around to make space for the little shelving unit for all the diapering gear, taking out the garbage and recycling, and now (finally!) we're sitting back for a bit.

DH is busy sacking treasure ships along the Spanish Main ("Sid Meier's Pirates!," his new favourite computer game), and I'm toying with the idea of getting more chips to snack on before the guys show up for our weekly D&D game. [whew] Only a few weekends left when our time is really our own, y'know?

[saratchka]

WhiteWax, I know it's hard, but I agree with the other women who've posted to you - your ex is not able to be a partner, friend, or anything else useful to you right now. Is it possible that could change in the future, yes. But that's not important right now. Right now you need to find the support structure that you need to get through your current life situation.

My experience of this pales in comparison to yours, but after living with someone I loved for two years, he decided to attend grad school about 10 hours away. I started making plans for a job search in that area. He moved first, and within a month, he started saying things about not being sure that our relationship was worth the move for me, etc. I was heartbroken - he'd been my best friend for so long that I couldn't imagine losing that. So we kept in touch and stayed "friends" for the most demeaning, unhealthy five months of my life. He wasn't trying to be cruel, but the effect was devestating. I couldn't even begin to move past our romantic relationship under those circumstances. I didn't begin to heal until I told him I couldn't be his friend just then, no matter how much I wanted to, and that I'd get in touch when I could be a friend to him again. Then I stopped taking his phone calls, which is one of the hardest things I've ever done.

I know you can't cut him out of your life - he's the father of your children. But try to get as much distance as you can for the time being. You need to have contact with him, but you don't have to be his friend right now. And definitely surround yourself with people and influences that give you hope and strength. Focus on making your life and your children's lives what you want them to be regardless of his role in them. He clearly can't give you what you want from him, so you need to focus on finding other ways to make yourself happy.

If it gives you any hope at all, six months after my breakup with the above mentioned partner, just when I had begun to accept that I could be happy even if he didn't come back to me, I was offered a dream job in another state and met my incredible husband. That breakup left me open to options that I could never have considered while in the relationship. I'm not an "everything happens for a reason" kind of gal, but often the silver lining of a painful change is that it creates new possibilities, some of which can be quite wonderful.

Sorry for the book. I've just been thinking of you a lot and hoping that good things come your way.

[vannienicole]

*