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the situation with CPS - Page 2

post #21 of 127
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sheacoby View Post
Was she able to tell you why? You and your precious son will be in my thoughts. Best of luck to you. I would contact legal aid before you go tomorrow. Why take the baby with you?
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post #22 of 127
It gives you a chance to make a good impression.
Best of Luck, I'll be praying for you too.
post #23 of 127
I would DEMAND to know what you're being accused of BEFORE going! She HAS to tell you. This sounds VERY fishy to me. Personally, I would NOT go. Sounds almost like a set up. TAKE A WITNESS WITH YOU IF YOU GO! Keeping you in my thoughts...
post #24 of 127
Quote:
Originally Posted by sweetaspickles View Post
The social worker finally called me back.

There is an open investigation.

She wants me to take the baby with me to her office tomorrow at 10 am.

wish me luck, send a prayer, good vibes, positive thoughts....
If it were me, I would not bring the baby unless the lady had a warrant. This can be a fine line between protecting yourself and pissing the social worker off so much that she has a vendetta against you. Why not tell her that you are going to seek the advice of an attorney before meeting with her? Tell her that you honestly have no idea why they were called, but you want to make sure you know your rights before meeting with her. I've never really dealt with the stuff that happens before kids are taken. I got to deal with the cases after that point. I can tell you that a number of cases would never have gotten to that point if the parents didn't let people into their houses and if they didn't offer information like, "Crib, what crib? We sleep in the same bed," and what have you.

You know, it's also really normal to say something like, "I'm sorry but I don't feel comfortable coming to your office. Can we meet at a coffee shop?" You are the one with the constitutional right to privacy and right to parent your child as you see fit. CPS doesn't get to infringe on those rights unless they can prove neglect or abuse. If those things are not present, then feel confident when you talk to her. Don't feel like they have any control over you.

You also have a right to know what the accusations are. You don't have a right to know who made the accusations, but you have a right to know what they are, so find out.
post #25 of 127
Quote:
Originally Posted by sweetaspickles View Post
she asked me to bring him with me.

She said we could talk tomorrow.
Mmm...if someone said this to me, I would say, "No thank you. If you can't even tell me what this is about then you can call me if you ever get a warrant."
post #26 of 127
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by papayapetunia View Post
Mmm...if someone said this to me, I would say, "No thank you. If you can't even tell me what this is about then you can call me if you ever get a warrant."
ssseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhrrrrrrrrrrrr rr
post #27 of 127
Oh, no. I wouldn't be comfortable with that at all. I would call back, sweet as pie, and say, "You know, on second thought, I'm not comfortable bringing my child to your office. I'm sure whatever we need to discuss can be discussed here on the phone."

At that point, hopefully she'll start talking. It would behoove you to know EVERYTHING about child development you can get your hands on, particularly how it pertains to your child. Social workers like facts. Height, weight, how many times he nurses/how much formula he takes. And know loose generalities like what is expected of a baby your son's age.

If she demands or insists that you bring him to the office, again refuse. Say you won't be comfortable with her near your child without a lawyer's advice, and that if she comes to your home again, she'll have to show a warrant.

But try the nice-as-pie approach BEFORE you get to legal mumbo jumbo. If she thinks you are putting her off, she'll automatically be hostile to you, kwim?

But no. Don't go to that meeting tomorrow. Call at 8AM and cancel.
post #28 of 127
Oh boy... I have only had negative experiences with CPS, but I'm thinking of you tonight and hope things go well for you. Listen to the previous posters! No warrent? No entry! Its the single most important thing you can do to protect your family.

Secondly, don't sign anything. If you aren't guilty of anything, signing "case plans" is an admittance of guilt.

Get a lawyer asap. I will tell you that many legal aids won't do CPS work (or they will take it on, but honestly don't try very hard at all to fight for you) because they often work in conjunction with CPS as well. If they go against them they run the risk of being black balled from any future state cases. (which give them income)



Good vibes coming your way!


post #29 of 127
I can imagine how frightened you must be, Mama!
post #30 of 127
Couldn't read and not respond. Hope all goes well. Be firm and be strong, and volunteer as little information as possible--silence usually gets people talking and you're more likely to learn more about the whole situation by offering sparse answers.
post #31 of 127
OH HUGS! My heart goes out to you tonight and tomorrow. I can only imagine how terrified you must be. CPS is one of my biggest fears.. Im always afraid my idiot in laws are gonna call on us because of our no vax, cloth diapering, baby wearing, cosleeping, extended bf stance LOL.. I cannot wait to hear what happens, please update us asap.. I will be praying for you and thinking about you. DO NOT let her in your home and do not offer up any info.. at all! Listen to what everyone else is saying about your rights!!!!!
post #32 of 127
HUGE mama
post #33 of 127
Yikes. I agree with all who say to cancel the appt. and find out what the problem is...and talking with a lawyer wouldn't hurt, either. Maybe look in the yellow pages for someone who handles family law and explain your situation...maybe they could help or refer you to someone who could.
post #34 of 127
There is no reason to bring your child with you. I would not do it. If you want to meet with her then go alone but don't take your child. I know this is awful to say but could the family you lived with have called them. Maybe they disagree with some of your parenting practices. Just wondering...
post #35 of 127
Oh, by the way, here are the correct answers to the questions:

Q: "What does he eat? How much does he eat?"
A: "He's breastfed. His pediatrician is very satisfied with his diet."

Q: "How does he sleep at night?"
A: "His pediatrician tells me his sleeping is developmentally normal."

You get the idea
post #36 of 127
hugs to you mama! I'll be praying for you. I hope it's nothing!
post #37 of 127
good luck
post #38 of 127
Quote:
Originally Posted by papayapetunia View Post
If it were me, I would not bring the baby unless the lady had a warrant. This can be a fine line between protecting yourself and pissing the social worker off so much that she has a vendetta against you. Why not tell her that you are going to seek the advice of an attorney before meeting with her? Tell her that you honestly have no idea why they were called, but you want to make sure you know your rights before meeting with her. I've never really dealt with the stuff that happens before kids are taken. I got to deal with the cases after that point. I can tell you that a number of cases would never have gotten to that point if the parents didn't let people into their houses and if they didn't offer information like, "Crib, what crib? We sleep in the same bed," and what have you.

You know, it's also really normal to say something like, "I'm sorry but I don't feel comfortable coming to your office. Can we meet at a coffee shop?" You are the one with the constitutional right to privacy and right to parent your child as you see fit. CPS doesn't get to infringe on those rights unless they can prove neglect or abuse. If those things are not present, then feel confident when you talk to her. Don't feel like they have any control over you.

You also have a right to know what the accusations are. You don't have a right to know who made the accusations, but you have a right to know what they are, so find out.

Yes to everything said above. Please don't go in without knowing your rights. You don't even have an obligation to go in. Be as a pp said "nicey pie" as possible but firmly state unless you know what the accusation is you won't be able to meet with her. CPS has a good purpose but too often is over zealous when they don't need to be and asleep at the wheel when they need to be taking action.
post #39 of 127
Good luck hon
post #40 of 127
Thread Starter 
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