tantrums with scratching

[paxagrarian]

I just read the GREAT sticky on Tantrums at the top of this topic page. My spirited 22 month old has MANY tantrums of the kind described in the article. I usually try to stay with her and tell her I understand and all that, but she gets even more angry and lashes out at me, scratching my face usually. Then I get frustrated (to say the least) and leave the room or at least back away. It's really hard for both my husband and I to remain compassionate when she's aggresive towards us!
Any thoughts/suggestions would be SO appreciated. I really don't like how I'm sending her this pissed off vibe when she tantrums, due to her scratching -- I know she needs to tantrum! Maybe I should back off, but stay near, just out of arm's reach? Thanks for the Help!

elizabeth, mama to sophia teva 05/05 wife to tt

[Magella]

Originally Posted by paxagrarian

Maybe I should back off, but stay near, just out of arm's reach?

It's possible to be supportive and let your child know you're there without uttering a word, and while giving them a little space. Not everyone wants someone talking to them and/or trying to hug them while they're upset. And staying just out of reach when my kids have been aggressive during a tantrum has always worked for us.

[paxagrarian]

Thanks

Thanks - as I begin to experiment with this and observe my daughter's tantrums more, it makes a lot of sense to back off. It's what SHE needs. I am the one wanting to comfort her because she is so upset. I guess some kids want that, but not mine! She is quite independent. I wish that article talked about that, becasue the article makes me feel that keeping my distance is almost like abandoning her. But, I should know my daughter - she doesn't even like to cuddle when nursing! Thanks for you response.
peace,
elizabeth