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Dressing Alike . . .comments from others? - Page 2

post #21 of 37
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by pacifica View Post
I get it. I rarely buy my twins new clothes. I never dress them alike. My boys have different body types and although they are VERY close in size, I still have one boy bigger than the other. So, when relatives send me 2 identical brand new outfits, we don't get total use out of them. For one, because I choose to not have the boys wear the same exact things together and because most clothes styles either fit one body type or the other better. So, one boy ends up with both shirts or both pants that are alike. My kids usually outgrow their clothes so fast that I feel like I don't get enough use out of those clothes. When my bigger boy outgrows some pants, I can pass them on to the thinner boy. If the pants are both the same, I can't do that. Also, if the pants are a bit snug at the waste (some styles are), then my bigger son can't wear them at all and my thinner son gets 2 of the same pair of pants.

I feel we get more use out of clothes if relatives send 2 different kinds of pants. We can do the hand down method. I have requested family to do this when buying the boys' clothes, so we can get more use out of clothes.

I was just trying to clarify what I thought the other poster was saying. I feel my situation may be like hers.

We also made a choice to not dress our children the same, so that may have something to do with this "way of thinking". My boys tend to pick out a shirt and it becomes "his" shirt. If I try to put the same style shirt on my other son, it causes some problems. So, one boy ends up getting 2 exact same shirts if we have 2 and the shirts get outgrown before they both get worn that much.

This is very hard to explain, so thanks for reading. I'm trying to share my point of view on this, but it's challenging! All to their own!
Sounds like it has more to do with having twins who are basically 2 different sizes than anything else. My guys are truly identical - exact same size - and I can't even tell them apart unless I am looking directly at them in the face!
post #22 of 37
Quote:
Originally Posted by pacifica View Post
We also made a choice to not dress our children the same, so that may have something to do with this "way of thinking". My boys tend to pick out a shirt and it becomes "his" shirt. If I try to put the same style shirt on my other son, it causes some problems. So, one boy ends up getting 2 exact same shirts if we have 2 and the shirts get outgrown before they both get worn that much.

This is very hard to explain, so thanks for reading. I'm trying to share my point of view on this, but it's challenging! All to their own!
OK I thought my girls were teh only ones who did this!!!!! I never used to have seperate clothes for them (although one is bigger than the other, they used to be able to wear the same size, now they are a size apart). All of a sudden around a year ago I would give Nechama a shirt and she was scream "NO RENA SHIRT" Ummm... okay. If you say so Mine have totally sepearte clothes now for the most part, although I will buy the same (but in a different size) if there is only 1 style that fits right. I do have problems when N. outgrows someething and I want to pass it to Rena. Sometimes she won't wear it because it's Nechama's, or Nechama will flip because Rena is wearing her clothes.
post #23 of 37
Quote:
Originally Posted by TripMom View Post
Sounds like it has more to do with having twins who are basically 2 different sizes than anything else. My guys are truly identical - exact same size - and I can't even tell them apart unless I am looking directly at them in the face!
Partly a size thing.

Also a personal preference thing. When there's 4 pair's of pants, I would rather have 4 different styles verses 2 different styles. Since we choose to have our boys with "different" clothes, we experience and use the "same" clothes differently. If I dressed my boys the same, I would probably get more use out of the "same" outfits.
post #24 of 37
I don't do it exclusively, but I just love to dress my boy/girl twins in matching outfits, whether they be the exact same, complementary, or at least similar. No special reason other than its so fun to do and I think they look totally adorable that way (see the photo link in my sig). Well I guess its also kind of convenient. I rarely buy them new clothes (we were blessed with tons of gifts and I love thrift stores), but when I do, I almost always go for matching outfits...its just a fun twin thing for me.
post #25 of 37
TripMom, I and apparently others understood from your OP that you were looking for opinions about dressing multiples alike or were questioning why people don't like it and comment on it. I tried to give you my feelings on it as best I could. You don't have to agree with me and it's clear I'm in the minority here but for the cost/waste factor as well as the seeing the kids as individuals not a "set" factor, I almost never dressed mine alike. Different strokes for different folks I guess.
post #26 of 37
Quote:
Originally Posted by RachelEve14 View Post
OK I thought my girls were teh only ones who did this!!!!! I never used to have seperate clothes for them (although one is bigger than the other, they used to be able to wear the same size, now they are a size apart). All of a sudden around a year ago I would give Nechama a shirt and she was scream "NO RENA SHIRT" Ummm... okay. If you say so :shurg: Mine have totally sepearte clothes now for the most part, although I will buy the same (but in a different size) if there is only 1 style that fits right. I do have problems when N. outgrows someething and I want to pass it to Rena. Sometimes she won't wear it because it's Nechama's, or Nechama will flip because Rena is wearing her clothes.
Ah, yes! This started very early for my boys. I can pretty much guess what type of clothes each will like, too. They are only 3 years old and mostly pick out their clothes to wear each day(I was the same way at a very young age). That's if I can get clothes on them!!
post #27 of 37
I've gotten comments going either way, though normally "agreeing" with whichever I've done that day. So on days that the girls are dressed the same I'll have people tell me how great it is that I dress them alike (depends on my mood whether I smile & nod or tell them that the girls chose their clothes. I generally go for smile & nod so I'm not stuck talking all day LOL) and on days when they're not dressed alike I get commends about how great it is that I don't dress them alike, shrug.

When I buy clothes, I generally buy 2 exactly the same, or the same but in different colors. Mainly because I don't know how I'd decide what to get other wise LOL. We use alot of hand-me-downs though, which obviously aren't matching. And starting pretty young (they're almost 4 & it's been long enough that I don't remember when they started) the girls have chosen their own clothes. So now it's generally their choice whether they match or not, and sometimes they want to, other times they don't. I figure even when they have the same clothes they don't have to wear them the same day, but since they like to dress the same sometimes it's easier to just buy stuff the same/coordinating & let them decide whether to wear them the same day or not.
post #28 of 37
I haven't dressed my two alike since they were tiny and I don't remember if I got any comments then -- too sleep deprived to remember much. I try to coordinate their outfits most of the time.

Anyway, I think people make comments because of the strong value in American culture with respect to individuality. I think people worry that they won't individuate or that you don't see them as individuals if you dress them alike. One of my friends was complaining to me that she sees twin moms do this & how hard it must be to be a twin in the first place and how this adds to it, blah blah blah. Meanwhile said twins are 15-months and have no self-concept yet.

People always have a comment that they aren't afraid to share, don't they?
post #29 of 37
I unabashedly dressed mine identically because of "cuteness" factor and I don't care. I got comments and I'd always say something totally snarky like, "What's the point of having twins if you can't dress them like dolls?" : :

Actually I always knew in my heart that one day they'd start picking their own clothes and never dress alike. And it happened when they were about 2.5yo or 3yo. So I still buy 2 of the same shirt and pants and whatever, but it's very rare that they dress totally alike. Sometimes they do wear the same pants.
post #30 of 37
I do both. In the begin I was very much against dressing them alike but I realized that it is fun doing it sometimes. I mostly dressed them similar but not exactly alike...or the same outfit but different colors.

I had a woman make a comment about them being fraternal. I said that they were identical and she said "But you don't have them dressed alike!" : Didn't realize it was a rule.
post #31 of 37
I have come to the conclusion that no matter what we do, people will always make dumb comments!!! Twins attract attention and for some inexplicable reason people feel like they just have to make a comment. Most of these people dont think about what they say and blurt out the first thing that comes to their mind (often making no sense)... Ex: I was at Publix today and some lady says with a huge smile... "double trouble... How wonderful!"
post #32 of 37
Quote:
Originally Posted by HATAWA View Post
Ex: I was at Publix today and some lady says with a huge smile... "double trouble... How wonderful!"
I've heard the same thing!

Yeah, we will always get more comments from others. I'm a person that really likes to blend in, so it's hard for me to get use to. If it's not clothes, behavior, or likeness it's breast weaning, potty training, or sleeping in thier own bed. My family and friends have opinions on it all.
post #33 of 37
Funny how they get definate opinions on what they want to wear. My step daughters are fraternal and look NOTHING alike (totally differant builds, coloring and heights). They used to LOVE dressing alike when they were younger so everyone would know they were twins. I remember them doing this when they were 6 and their step father made them change because "no matter what you wear you'll never look the same because you're not identical" I thought that was so mean. Who cares what they wear! If they enjoy it then what's the harm. Now they're teens and dress very differantly because they have differant crowds they hang out with and so differant styles. When they're babies and can't choose, dress them however you want and however is most conveinent. They get their own opinions on things soon enough. People always have something to say either positive or negative and in the end it just doesn't matter. If the kids are dressed, clean, fed and loved i'm happy
post #34 of 37
We do and we don't dress our girls alike (I have ID girls - 11 months, and a 2 year old), BUT I do have to admit to love Gymboree and Hanna Andersson for the fact that they can all "match" without wearing the same thing.

I buy most of our clothes from consignment or ebay, so I do have to do some extra work to have coordinating outfits. I would not go to a retail store and buy two new, matching outfits - even if they were discounted for a multiple purchase.

We mostly choose the same line of clothing for them all and dress everyone the "same" or if Dad dresses them, they wear whatever comes out of the closet first.

None of their play clothes or pajamas are matched, they are all second hand from my first daughter or Target/cheapie buys. We only coordinate when we're going out of the house.

I do it for a couple of reasons:
1. So my older daughter will feel "included" too by having on the same colors.
2. It is stinking cute!
3. If you collect a whole line you never really have to worry about matching things - it all just goes together. That's a big deal when you're going through several outfit changes per day still.
post #35 of 37
Our boys (now 3-months-old) have garnered all kinds of comments about how they are dressed. No one ever seemed to care about how we dressed our singletons, aside from "aww. . .CUUUTE!". But I think the forwardness people show in speaking to you about this is just part of the package of how taken people are with twins and other multiples.

I think it's funny: When I dress them differently, people usually seem to be commenting with pleasure that they are glad to have an obvious way to know which boy is which (once they've been told, they just track that outfit!).

A lot of people also say how nice it is that I don't dress them alike - this seems to be in consideration of them properly developing as individuals. I just smile and never bother pointing out to these people that sometimes I DO dress them matching or identically just because it's fun. (For the practicalities of using second-hand clothing, and spit-ups/diaper blow-outs this isn't happening OFTEN, but I enjoy it when it does work out!).

I find most of the "negative" comments when they are dressed alike are from people wishing they could identify them more easily. I'm sure lots of people think it's totally damaging to my poor babies brains, but just hold their tongues.

Thoughts from other families:

We have a friend (now a dad himself) who is an identical twin. He said that until he was 12, he didn't really have his "own" clothes b/c his mom just bought 2 of everything and always dressed them alike. In fact, everyone thought she had 2 sets of twins. 4 boys in the family and the oldest two were similar in size. So knowing she had twins that were younger, she just put the older 2 boys in matching outfits also! He didn't really seem to have any thoughts/concerns/advice about the clothes. He said it WAS important to him and his brother that people use their names and NOT just be calling them "the twins" like they were a package. He cared more about what they were called than how they looked. (Although I realize some would argue that matching clothing promotes the notion of "one package").

We also recently spoke to the father of a friend of ours. Her sisters are identical twins. This man didn't want to be overbearing with advice, but basically said, "just don't take advice from other people". He said that fears of hampering a twin's individuality get WAY overblown, particularly as to the effect of their clothing. He said, "Face it, they do have a close bond and there ARE times where they will just WANT to dress the same".
post #36 of 37
I'm a twin and I have twins. I did not dress my twins alike. People commented that they'd like to see the boys in matching outfits. I ignored them b/c they're my kids, my decision. If we got matching outifts, I would only use one and use the second outfit as a gift : for a friend or save it for my sister. To each her own!
post #37 of 37
My twins boy/girl are not hear yet but we have got a few matching things like a sweater with blue stipes and the other with pink stripes.
I just can't and never have dressed my girls in clothes that could be worn by a boy or girl. I was at the store the other day and there was a lady in front of me talking about her boy/girl twins that were with her. I looked at the twins who were older about 9 or 10 and it took me a few minutes to figure out what one was the boy and what one was the girl. The boy had longer hair and was the same length as the girl and they both dressed in gender nutural clothes. I guess I am a nut and like my girls girly looking. O well
Shawnii
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