So who here is planning/considering a UC? (and who's had one before?) - Page 2

[MaWhit]

So it looks like there's almost 10 of us who are PG and at least considering UC. How's it going for you all? About how far along are you now? What are you doing (or not doing) in preparation for your UC? Has anyone changed their mind about it? (Not me!) Anything else you want to share?


I'm about 25 weeks now... I took a break from all my UC reading and the cbirth messages are piling up. I've been meditating more though, and recently bought an amulet that symbolizes this pregnancy and birth to me. Each time I hold it or feel it against my skin, I feel closer to my baby and birth. We've been living in our new(old) house for about 3 weqeks now and I'm hoping to get the rooms that I'm most likely to birth in (office/nook, bathroom) painted this weekend. I'm really feeling a need to start a nest for myself. I also foresee myself busting out Birthing From Within sometime in the next few weeks.

How's everyone else doing? How's your DH? Who do you envision at your birth? (DH, kids, solo, etc)

[FreeRangeMama]

I am about 33 weeks and starting to get excited. We haven't done prenatals at all, and so this pregnancy hasn't seemed very real until recently when I started getting contractions. All of a sudden we realized that I will be giving birth fairly soon. Yikes!

I have been trying to get things ready as the house needs a lot of work. I rearranged the kitchen, cleaned out the porch, and am remodeling the bathroom. We had to replace part of the wall cause it was rotting (gotta love older houses) so now I just need to paint and decorate (just in time to give birth). I have also been busy getting birth supplies ready. I just need some nice candles and something to put the placenta in and I think I'll be organized. (don't really need much, so it hasn't been hard). I feel ready to give birth already, I don't want to wait another couple of months. All these contractions are starting to really become bothersome.

Laurie

[2much2luv]

We are planning a UC for sure now.
I am 13 weeks and starting to get excited for the "real" feeling part of pregnancy. I have been seeing a CNM at a clinic but early next month I will have my last visit and then take over for myself.
I still have alot of reading to do to prepare for the birth. I am just waiting until we get out of financial dire straights (lol, its not that bad) and I will order a few books i want to read including Active Birth which has the yoga moves I want to practice in it.
I feel prepared mentally. I was bouncing back and forth on wether to even have my UC for the first few months, but just a couple of weeks ago I felt confident in the decision and then last week I felt the desire to not get outside prenatal care anymore. I dream about the birth often and when I am bored with nothing else to do I think about the birth and try to connect with the little one inside me. It is hard with so many distractions, but I am sure I will go more and more inward as I draw near to the end.

[Spark]

Hi, I still want UC for sure, DH is not in to the idea still. I meet with our homebirth midwife this coming Tuesday. I'm going to talk to her about it then. I think she would be great to visit for prenatal care before UC. Last time she really tried to education Jason and me. She even had two appointments dedicated to emergency childbirth. Plus, is this awful, I keep thinking-- she's such a supporter of UC. I wouldn't be surprised at all if when/if we call her when I'm in labor that she really takes her time.

I'm glad we have so many weeks to work out a solution. I'm only 5-7 weeks along.

[citizenfong]

I am really excited and so looking forward to my upcoming UC. I am 7wks tomorrow. I had been hoping to do a UP as well, but dh really felt strongly about me getting traditional prenatal care this time, for a couple of reasons. So, I am disappointed, but totally willing to honor his desires. Especially since I know he wouldn't press the issue if it wasn't important to him.

So I started calling around this week to find a provider who will agree to do only what I want. Ha! What a joke. No one in town will apparently "let" you forgo at least one routine u/s, forget about skipping the GTT. One nurse told me, "Well, maybe we can dig up a fetascope somewhere. It's just that they are so old and out of date, they're not even accurate ANY MORE." !!!! So I guess the moment the Doptone was invented, all the fetascopes sudddenly became defective.

She also suggested that I look into midwifery care "because sometimes they have a more natural approach." It was obvious that she did not even for a minute recognize how ridiculous her logic was regarding the whole liability party line she was feeding me. If allowing me to forgo certain tests would put the OB at risk, how are these mythical mw's able to allow it without risk to them? Surely they can't afford the same level of insurance protection the OB has. WHATEVER!

Anyway, someone made a radical suggestion, and I think this is what we are going with. I've found out that the mw's I used last time will allow you to forgo almost all testing/screening. I did not refuse most of that stuff last time, so I didn't know that. And even though I was unhappy about several things regarding my care last time, most of those things would be a nonissue this time.

They are 1.5-2hrs away from where I now live. Though it will be a pain to go to the appointments, no one will blink an eye if I "miss" getting there for the birth. And people go there from all over the state, so that doesn't seem unusual to them. They know me and can have some idea that I am making informed choices and are hopefully less likely than to give me a hard time about refusing stuff.

I never envisioned that it would work out this way, but I think it's a pretty good solution, considering.

Claire, I've been thinking about you. Okay, follow me here. It's been, what, 2 wks since you tested +? And you had tested BFN 2 wks before that? What if you would have tested a faint BFP the day after you actually tested the first time? That would have made you 4wks at that point, plus 2 wks before you tested again, plus 2 wks since testing +. So could you be 8 wks? I don't know what you think of that idea. It's just that you seem to be ahead of me. And I know you really DON'T know exactly how far you are. I was feeling a teensy bit jealous of your little baby belly, when suddenly my belly popped yesterday! I'll post a link to a pic as soon as I work out a way to get it on the web. But just because you tested BFN that first time doesn't mean you weren't already preggers, YK? And don't forget that it took me forever just to get a line that was easily seen. Oooh, and want to know something crazy? I tested again last week to give dh that dark line he craves seeing? And the line's no darker! Weird, huh?

Just a thought!

[Spark]

Hey, Tracy, you're been in my thoughts soooo much, too! It sounds like your DH and you are really working well together to come to an agreement you both feel good about. I like your idea to drive where you know you can do what you want. Also, you could schedule your appointments for every 6 weeks instead of every 4 weeks. That saves your drive time and may be just as agreeable for your DH.

I've been thinking about that HPT I took before I left on vacation. And, I seem to remember thinking that there was a faint line and then just dismissing it. I remember thinking, "That's a line, No it's not, silly." And, then running to the store for last minute things. So, yes, I could be 8 weeks.

I know I'll not do UP. I really like the support from our midwife. I think of it as being trained. My appointment with her is next Tues. I'll know more about my due date then.

[citizenfong]

Claire, that's pretty cool! I just KNEW you weren't five weeks!

Well, it looks like we may be back to square one on finding prenatal care. The woman who told me that she's getting the kind of care I want, and who is also doing an "oops!" told me today that someone asked during one of the classes they require you to go to what if you give birth in the car on the way, do you still have to pay? They said, yes, they'd want you to come on in and they would still charge you! And they make you pay up ahead of time, so I had been planning oun asking if they could just hold our check til after birth since I live so far away and have a history of short labor. Now I just don't see them agreeing to that if that's their attitude.
<sigh>

[Phoebe]

Maybe a dumb question but what is a UC?

Thanks,
Amy

[pamamidwife]

Tracy, have you thought about telling them the truth? As a midwife, I would be hurt to establish a relationship with someone when all along they had alterior motives for the birth. Perhaps working something out for prenatal care can be done...

It is my policy, too, to not refund money if the birth happens so quickly that I don't make it, or if the parents don't call in time. Just like I don't charge extra for those three day long births...I do, however, do a per-visit schedule for couples planning unassisted births....

Then again, why are you doing prenatal care? I think that 98% of prenatal care is just to establish a relationship with someone in preparation for birth.

[Spark]

Hi, Phoebe, UC stands for Unassisted Childbirth. Ah, all these initials online who can keep up with them?!?!?! UC from what I understand means in the strictest form that you (and your DP [dear partner] sometimes) act as your own midwife. You do prenatal appointments and deliver your child. In looser versions it means going to a midwife for care and laboring at home with DP or by yourself and perhaps other people there at home, but no one is a midwife. Here's one of my favorite sites about it: http://www.freebirth.com/ I really like the birth stories on the site. Check them out -- they're inspirational whether you're planning UC or not!

Pamamidwife -- oh, very good point. That would make for a sticky situation.

I was picturing Tracy going to this huge place with Nurse-midwives and Drs that would have no clue if she showed up for an appointment or not. If it is a smaller practice, they might be interested in supporting you for UC. Maybe your friend wasn't upfront with them? Tracy, where are you at? I forget. Want to e-mail me and (I have time) I'll see if I can find a lay-midwife in your area who would support UC? I'm at [e-mail]

[JesseMomme]

Phoebe, A UC is an Unassisted Birth, e.i. birth without any proffesional or traditional birth attendants. YOu usually hear about most UC's in the news paper or on TV and they're accidental, people who really didn't make it on time. But many moms choose UC before TTC or during preg or sometimes during labor LOL - and it's an intentional well thought out plan. Well you usually dont hear about us intentional UCers on the news lol

My first two babies were hospital births - never again. My Liam was born at home with no one, not even my Dh in the room with me and it was a glorious experience. I am no longer a yes-man (er woman), I am a momma bear who would fight to the death for her cubs, I am that changed.

[indigolilybear]

Well, I guess you can count me in here. We are newly pregnant....due end of March, beginning of April. Maybe we should start a new thread on "i'm pregnant"? There are so many of us.

An intro.....we have a 4.5 yr old dd and 2 yr old ds. I am actually surprised how excited I am to do this again. We conceived on our first cycle of TTC. We have had one HB and one freebirth/lotus birth.

It's weird too, this time I feel a much stronger and more immediate connection/knowledge of this baby than I experienced w/dd and ds. ANyone else have this experience? I knew when I conceived right away, and have felt the presence of her ever since. Anyway, looking forward to traveling together w/you mamas to some very empowered births!!

[citizenfong]

Originally posted by pamamidwife
Tracy, have you thought about telling them the truth? As a midwife, I would be hurt to establish a relationship with someone when all along they had alterior motives for the birth. Perhaps working something out for prenatal care can be done...

It is my policy, too, to not refund money if the birth happens so quickly that I don't make it, or if the parents don't call in time. Just like I don't charge extra for those three day long births...I do, however, do a per-visit schedule for couples planning unassisted births....

Then again, why are you doing prenatal care? I think that 98% of prenatal care is just to establish a relationship with someone in preparation for birth.

Oh of course! I would prefer to be open about my intentions since I am not doing anything wrong. I don't intend to lie to anyone. However, I am familiar with the climate in my state, and am EXTREMELY skeptical that these medwives would jump right on board with my plans. Additionally, if I found someone who "allowed" me to choose what procedures/tests I wanted there is no way I would want to jeopordize that by blythely hoping aloud that they would agree to see me without delivering my baby. I am 99% certain that a doctor-affiliated birth center in a state where lay midwifery is illegal would not be set up in any way to make allowances for them not attending a birth they've done the prenatals for.

There are many lay mw's in my city. And many of them are quite flexible regarding how often you see them and whether or not they attend your birth. However, I will not ask someone to perform illegal acts on my behalf. Yes, I know that it is their choice. But I would be morally complicit. Also, I do not believe it is wise to put myself in the possible position of having to "protect" a mw from the law. I would not lie.

I live in NC. Just over the border in SC lay midwifery is legal. I contacted several mw's there to determine whether someone would be willing to see me, say once per trimester, with the understanding that they would not attend the birth. I was informed that they felt it would open them up to liability to accept me as a pt with the knowledge that they would not be attending the birth. I was also told several "dead baby" stories in attempts to convince me that I needed them for the birth.

I would not want to hurt anyone's feelings either. However, that is not really my main concern. My main concern is to have a healthy, safe pregnancy and birth. These mw's are simply people with whom I've had a business contract in the past. I assure you that they were not my friends and exhibited very little regard for whether or not their policies hurt my feelings. I am not responsible for their personal feeling regarding my birth. (Though they did tell me that ours was a very pleasant and fun birth for them. It was not so for me.)

I agree with you in regard to the purpose of prenatal care. As I mentioned I have been willing to do it since my dh was asking it of me. He is not quite as educated as I on this topic and has not felt totally comfortable relinquishing the cherished notion that if something was wrong with the baby, traditional prenatal care could correct it.

The good news in all this is that my dh told me this evening that he thinks maybe I don't need traditional prenatal care after all. Super-duper! Here we go...

edited to add: please forgive my misdirected pregnancy hormones spilling out all over you!

[pamamidwife]

Oh, Tracy, I am sorry - I tend to forget that there are states that are hostile to midwives and just go from my own experience. It seems that while many midwives in my area do not support UC birth, they will give people my number (and there are a couple more midwives that support UC in my state).

I just don't get the liability issue. They could just write up a contract in which you clearly state your intentions. Geez.

There's a great book called "Expecting Trouble: The Myth of Prenatal Care in America" that is written by an OB/GYN. It is a fabulous read - mainly about how all the urine dips, weight checks, etc., do NOT contribute to healthier outcomes for babies. It's a good read. Maybe it's in your library?

{{{Hugs}}} to you! You're in a tough spot, but I think you're on the right track. Eat well, love yourself and chances are, things will be so perfect.

Oh - here's a write up I did in my blog on that book and about Prenatal Care: http://www.xanga.com/item.aspx?user=...s&uid=13869360

[citizenfong]

Thank you for your kind words. Can you tell I had been up since 3am when I wrote that? Again I apologize for the defensive tone. Sometimes I get pretty frustrated that people in other states don't have to worry about so much of this stuff.