"please knock before entering"

[stacyann21]

The local BRU finally put in a nursing room recently I noticed a sign on the door that read "please knock before entering". I'm not exactly sure why but it just rubbed me the wrong way. It just seemed like they were implying that nursing is something that should be hidden and a mom should BF her baby out of the way in private. I mean, what are you supposed to say if you're in there and someone knocks? "Oh, uh, yes. I'm in here...come in"? It's just weird. Then today I was at the Baby Depot and asked where the mother's room was. The employee gave me directions and said, "I'll buzz you in." Huh? So I get there and sure enough, there's a freakin buzzer that lights up and makes an obnoxious noise and ta-da the door pops open. Is it just me or are nursing rooms hurting the cause?

[rmzbm]

I'd be irritated if an annoying noise woke my babe up that I'd just nursed down. :

[sunflowers]

Our BRU has a nursing room but it's also a diaper changing room. I'm thinking the Knock may be for moms who are changing a dipe and don't want strangers there? Or maybe some mamas aren't very comfortable nursing in front of others or are 'beginners' who haven't figured out how to be discreet. I remember when I first nursed, I had my whole breast exposed and the other side was leaking like crazy . Took me some time and experience before I could get the hang of it. But then again, since dd was a NICU baby my nursing was always done with seemingly 100 people watching and practically cheering SO those things wouldn't have bothered me at all...

Since it's also a changing station, don't dads have access to it too?

[kawa kamuri]

My BRU has the combo nursing/changing diapers room. I was thankful to have a place when I was new to NIP even though it does smell like poo. I was at BRU tonight and breastfed my daughter while walking around the store.

[bullfrog]

Please excuse my ignorance.....what is a BRU?

I do think that 'nursing rooms' are a step backwards for NIP - ONLY because some people see it as evidence that we 'should' hide away. "See honey? There'se your little special room to do your dirty work."

It's difficult though because I would certainly want a room to pump - and have advocated for that becomming a law in my state.

[J2]

Are you talking about the Baby Depot inside Burlington Coat Factory? Even just the bathrooms have a thing to get buzzed into the bathrooms. It is jus ta security measure there. Nothing against nursing as everyone has to do the same thing just to get into the bathrooms.

[moondiapers]

The buzz you in thing is to prevent theft I think. I'm noticing more and more stores putting buzzers on restrooms. I dont' think they'll last long after they keep having to clean of kid-pee because it took too long to find someone to buzz them in.

[stacyann21]

Nope, it was just the nursing room that had the buzzer. It was definitely a privacy measure. I agree with the pp about the "room to do your dirty work". My mom actually said something along the lines of, "Oh good, now you have somewhere to nurse IN PRIVATE." : Don't get me wrong, I'm not against nursing rooms. I actually think they're great. It's the extensive measures that are taken to make it a hidden place that bothers me. There's a lovely, open mother's room at the local Nordstrom with comfy chairs and a separate place to change diapers. I love it there, there's always a few other moms in there chatting away.

[Romana]

I'm bad. At BRU (Babies R Us for whoever was asking ) I always nurse in a glider in that section of the store. Much more comfy. Ohhhhhh, bad lactivist!!!

If a store employee came up to me and said "You know, we have a nursing room for nursing mothers," I'd probably say something like, "Yeah, but this chair is much more comfortable than the sofa in the nursing room, and it's usually occupied anyway!"

Julia
dd 1 year old

[HoldensMama]

I've never had a use for nursing rooms, anyway. Last time I was at BRU ds was a bit cranky, so I put him in the wrap and nursed him as we walked around. He kept getting distracted and turning his head away, exposing my whole breast to anyone who might have been looking . I do think they're good for more modest moms, though I don't like all the "security" measures either.

[Minerva]

Originally Posted by Romana9+2

If a store employee came up to me and said "You know, we have a nursing room for nursing mothers," I'd probably say something like, "Yeah, but this chair is much more comfortable than the sofa in the nursing room, and it's usually occupied anyway!"

I had that happen in one department store a few months back. I'm sitting on a nice comfy couch in one of the lounge areas near the escalators, I've got a sleepy and snacky kid across my lap, and not one but two store employees (and a mother with several kids) came past to tell me about their very nice mother's room. : I told each of them that I was fine where I was at.

So, when the husband finished his shopping and came back, I handed Abby off to go use the restroom and see what was so nice about this mother's room. I don't consider a battered couch and a changing table in an alcove off the restroom to be 'very nice'.

Of course, when I was said store last weekend looking for a breastfeeding-friendly dress or suit for a funeral, I was told that they "don't stock that sort of thing" -- why am I not surprised?

[ColoradoMama]

I think every store should have a nursing room. Many mothers do not feel comfortable nip-ing, and having nursing rooms would help. It's also nice to have an out of the way place to sit and relax and nurse sometimes. Plus, when you have older kids (sometimes I have three older ones with me - more if one has a friend with us), it is nice to have a confined space! I see nothing wrong with a "knock before entering sign" on the door. It's nice to have a little warning before someone walks in - especially if you're sitting in a place that would be easy for people to see in. I wouldn't like to have my boob in plain view when someone walked in. I'm sure it wouldn't bother some people, but I would appreciate a warning knock.

[mamasophy]

I've always thought Nordstroms was a great place to go with a nursing babe - open, comfy, lovely decor (I noticed this in 1991!).

[Sagesgirl]

I usually don't go back to the nursing room in BRU, but sometimes I do because I'd no more sit on their merchandise to nurse than I'd plant myself for 10 or 15 minutes on their merchandise if I wasn't nursing. I have never had a problem with the sign about knocking on the door. Perhaps other mamas want an opportunity to be alone in there.

[Viola]

I went to the babycare area at Disneyland once. First I went in the changing room, then I came out to sit in one of the rocking chairs in the nursing area, which was back behind the formula feeding area, I think. In any event, it was far from the front door, at the back near the bathroom. Well, there was a curtain to close it off from the front half of the center, but I didn't close it. I didn't feel the need as there was no one else there, and with the way the room was laid out with corners and short walls and stuff, and I didn't feel like I'd be visible even if someone else came in. So the woman working there came back and closed the curtain "to you give you privacy." I was stuck in a rocking chair staring at a white curtain not that far in front of my face. I felt like I was on a hospital ward, having a procedure done. Usually I would just nurse out in the park, but I was feeling the need for a real break and to sit down.

[queenjane]

I was at BRU today (torturing myself by looking at baby stuff...i havent had a baby for ten years! sigh), and made sure to look especially for the nursing room, because i saw it mentioned in this thread.

Only it isnt actually called a nursing room, but a mother's room. And yknow what huge sign they have above the door to let you know this is where you can feed (presumably nurse)your baby?

A bottle. :

And i did see the "knock before entering" sign. I wanted to peak in, but since i don't actually have a baby, i thought that might be weird. Then, while walking around, i thought "geez, if i wanted to sit down and nurse, there's about twenty comfy gliders right here!!"


Katherine

[tnsurro]

My younger sister and I had babies 2 wks apart and whenever we went to the walmart by us we BF'd in the McDonalds booths cause there wasn't anywhere else to sit. We covered with blankets cause the guys were little, but we had a lot of people come and ask us about BFing.

[Momily]

Well first of all, as a preschool teacher I can tell you that ANY room that has an opaque door and potentially contains toddlers and preschoolers needs to have a sign on the door saying "Knock before entering". The situation of -- mom is nursing one child while another is playing, that child gets too close to the door and BAM the child's hit in the head with an opening door, or worse a door knob.

So, while I hear the concerns that such a sign might imply that nursing is a "private" activity. I think there needs to be something -- perhaps "Please enter gently, children at play?"

I also wonder whether calling the room a nursing room is such a good idea. To me it implies that nursing is something that requires a separate, sheltered space, which of course it doesn't! On the other hand, babies and young children sometimes need a quiet place to be alone with someone they love. It might be that mom wants to get them to sleep (whether that includes nursing or not) or to help recover from overstimulation (can include nursing or not) or to talk through some problem, or to eat/drink without distraction. Any of those are good reasons seek out a separate room, and good reasons for a room to exist. Maybe calling it a "family room" and having a symbol of a mother cradling a child would avoid the problematic bottle without implying that its purpose is to allow mothers to "hide" when they are nursing.

[teeny_bean]

My local Babies R Us has a nursing room, and the sign. I never thought much of it, because it's also designated as the store's dressing room, so if you want to try on some maternity wear, you must use that room. Actually, once, while I was trying on some pants and standing in there in my underwear, another mom walked in without knocking. Because it's used as a dressing room, I never thought it was weird or offensive for them to have a sign asking people to knock. I don't know if all BRU stores carry maternity clothing, though.

I don't mind nursing in public, but I also appreciate having a nice quiet place to sit with my baby.

[tessie]

I've come across toilets etc having buzzer only access, but for security reasons. Shops don't want non customers randomly wandering in off the streets. Plus in some areas drug users have been known to avail themselves of the facilities!

In the UK nursing rooms are usually called parent and baby rooms/facilities as both parents may want to use them for feeding/changing. I can see why it would be reasonable to ask that people knock first as a new mother might not want a random father (there to heat a bottle of ebm, obviously )walking in on her!