I need help with my almost 3 yr old! She is in a major power struggle, has to be exactly my way phase, I know this is developmentally normal, but I at the end of my rope and my husband thinks she needs to be spanked. The “I want to do it” and sassy voice are rough to deal with, but I feel I’m doing ok with that. I calmly tell her she needs to use a nice voice and say “That is important to me, I want to poor the oatmeal” or “Please let me do that…”. But she is having major tantrums when things don’t go her way, and in general she is being, well a not nice person to be around. (example: She will demand to be picked up and then point and scream and what she wants.). She has always been a bit of a difficult child, but never like this and I’m feeling a little lost. I’m reading “Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline”, which is great and I’m trying to incorporate parts into my life, but I need more help with this phase….please let it be a phase.
How do you deal with major tantrums with a three year old? I want to have some type of standard. I know consistency is key. I’ve been trying to use Elizabeth Pantley’s method of having a tantrum room (its ok if you need to have a tantrum, but it hurts my ears and you need to go into this room). Last night we were following our bedtime list/routine and come the time when we lay in bed together and tell stories and sing until she falls asleep, she wouldn’t lay in bed with me. The lights were out in the house (we live in a small one bedroom, her room is an add on sunroom), except the living room where my husband was eating. She got up and ran around the house screaming, I tried to talk with her and calm her down but she just kept running around. So we went into “my husband’s room” ( where he sleeps, the only room in the house with a door), she screamed until she threw up. I cleaned it up, and told her I needed a break from her screaming and went and sat on the front porch, she continued to run around screaming. My husband left to go somewhere. I went back in and tried to talk to her and finally told her if she couldn’t calm down and lay in bed with me, we were going to lay down in Daddy’s room, we went in to that room closed the door and she started kicking and hitting. I told her I was going out of the room and would be waiting for her outside. I’ve never done that before, she was scared and said “ I promise I’ll listen I’m scared, let me out!”. I told her I was right there on the other side of the door, but she needed to calm down. She finally did, we went to her bedroom and she fell asleep. Over an hour after her initial screaming. What would you do? Letting her stay up is not an option, we all go to bed when she does. I feel like a bad parent and out of control of our lives! Thanks
How do you deal with major tantrums with a three year old? I want to have some type of standard. I know consistency is key. I’ve been trying to use Elizabeth Pantley’s method of having a tantrum room (its ok if you need to have a tantrum, but it hurts my ears and you need to go into this room). Last night we were following our bedtime list/routine and come the time when we lay in bed together and tell stories and sing until she falls asleep, she wouldn’t lay in bed with me. The lights were out in the house (we live in a small one bedroom, her room is an add on sunroom), except the living room where my husband was eating. She got up and ran around the house screaming, I tried to talk with her and calm her down but she just kept running around. So we went into “my husband’s room” ( where he sleeps, the only room in the house with a door), she screamed until she threw up. I cleaned it up, and told her I needed a break from her screaming and went and sat on the front porch, she continued to run around screaming. My husband left to go somewhere. I went back in and tried to talk to her and finally told her if she couldn’t calm down and lay in bed with me, we were going to lay down in Daddy’s room, we went in to that room closed the door and she started kicking and hitting. I told her I was going out of the room and would be waiting for her outside. I’ve never done that before, she was scared and said “ I promise I’ll listen I’m scared, let me out!”. I told her I was right there on the other side of the door, but she needed to calm down. She finally did, we went to her bedroom and she fell asleep. Over an hour after her initial screaming. What would you do? Letting her stay up is not an option, we all go to bed when she does. I feel like a bad parent and out of control of our lives! Thanks
and we hit his huge impassible roadblock. Anyway, I don't have any brilliant solutions that work all the time, but by putting it all away and totally focusing on something else for a bit (I was just putting things away in the kitchen pretending to be totally uninterested in cups or milk or water) he'll usually come back and solve his own dilemma .
