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this breaks my heart...UPDATE post 62 - Page 2

post #21 of 82
Her views are incredibly antiquated and puritanical.

I hope she realizes that circumcised males masturbate just as much as circumcised males. TMI here but my Circed husband acts like he is going to die if he doesn't have intercourse, same goes for most... no wait ALL of the circumcised guys I know. I actually haven't ever met an intact man so I have no point of reference here but I can't imagine them masturbating more than the circed men I have known in my life.

Oh and my circed DS plays with himself just like any other little boy. Is she going to teach her children that their genitals are dirty and set up a terrible association between sexual feelings and guilt.

I came from just such a very puritanical family. We were taught that sex was dirty and "bad" and that it was a sin to masturbate. I was absolutely terrified of the whole idea by the time I was an adult. Not the kindest thing to do to your children IMHO.
post #22 of 82
So sad
post #23 of 82
Thread Starter 
She has responded that she agrees with everything I'm saying, but is afraid that if left intact, her child will be 'playing with himself' in kindergarten, and obsessed with sex and masturbation as a teenager. She says she's still willing to keep the dialogue going, so there is a glimmer of hope...
post #24 of 82
When they are 5 (or any other age, for that matter) EVERY BOY plays with himself! And if he happened to be in kindergarten, then kindergarten it is.
Please write to her that if it bothers her, then she needs to work on her issues, not to put this frustration of hers on her babies by mutilating them...
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post #25 of 82
I've never posted a link before, but someone else here posted this for me so I'm passing it along. Hope I do this right:

post #26 of 82
Wow this so incredibly sad and the circ part is only the start. Circing is not going to stop her sons from masturbating. She has some deep rooted issues going on and I really hope somehow she'll address them and try to move past them.
I do hope at least she'll change her mind about circinig but really that is just one issue.
post #27 of 82
Originally Posted by Yulia_R View Post
When they are 5 (or any other age, for that matter) EVERY BOY plays with himself! And if he happened to be in kindergarten, then kindergarten it is.
Please write to her that if it bothers her, then she needs to work on her issues, not to put this frustration of hers on her babies by mutilating them...
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That is soooooooooo true!!! I remember babysitting a circ boy of about 3 and he was constantly playing with himself. And btw his parents are anti-masturbation also.

Circ men I know masturbated too. The "theory" that it will lessen masturbation is so untrue!!!!! Ask her why they have to keep coming up with new theories after they started doing circ to prevent masturbation. It's because everyone figured out real quick that it didint' work and if the docs wanted money from circ they had to have other "reasons" which of course have all been proved wrong.
post #28 of 82

That is one of the saddest things I have read, i really hope that you can get through to her and encourage her to deal with HER issues and obvious guilt related to masterbation...

Please keep us posted as this has been weighing on me since I read it a few hours ago...

Good luck, it's not an easy fight, but judging by her last letter she seems open so JUMP on it...
post #29 of 82

That is SO twisted. It amazes me that people like that actually exist in the world!

You could tell her my DAUGHTER has masterbated EVERY DAY since she was about 10 months and she is almost 5. WHAT would she do then?!?!? We are trying to teach her it's something she needs to do in private, but we are in NO WAY trying to stop her. You could also tell her I started early too.

I hope you change her mind. It sounds like SHE has issues that she needs to work out before she becomes a mother of the poor children will suffer....
post #30 of 82
What a sick, sad world we live in. :
post #31 of 82
I'm sorry, I know it's not very tolerant of me but the only thought that comes to mind is this woman doesn't need to be having kids. : She is going to raise them to think of their bodies as dirty and sex as filthy. Their circumcision status will not change that either way. This is so not something that society needs, more people raised with warped veiws on sex and self pleasure.

As for masturbation, My dh is cut and I don't think I have ever met some one who touches himself as much as dh does. Ds1 was circ'd without my consent and again he is always touching himself. Ds2 is intact and other than a quick grab here and there could care less about his penis (unless he is using it to "water" something). So how does circumcision curb masturbation? And even if it did WTH is wrong with masturbation?
post #32 of 82
I keep coming back to this thread in my thoughts... it hits a little close to home. My parents weren't NEARLY this puritanical, yet it's such a similar attitude that they take. This is why I said nothing at all to my mom about the sexual effects of circumcision when I talked to her about it... she supports us leaving our sons intact, but might have reservations if I went into the history about circumcision preventing masturbation - she would definitely view that as a GOOD side-effect... even though it's not true... I didn't get talked to about masturbating when I was young, but I bet my (circumcised) brothers did :

love and peace.
post #33 of 82
I am a mom of three and also a licensed family day care provider for 7 years. In that time I had many different children in my care, male and female, circumcised and intact. Virtually every one (my children included) of them grabbed, pulled and touched their genitals at diaper changing time, pottying and when dressed regardless of any of the variables.

Regarding masturbation and circumcision, we won't even discuss my circumcised dh...

Please reassure your friend, circumcised will not prevent the touching of genitals.

PS~Just wanted to applaud you for your patience with this. Crossing my fingers it pays off for those two little innocent baby boys!

post #34 of 82
Ummmm, you know the stuff she was talking about that her friend or whatever told her about having to masturbate every 3 days, etc? My DS's dad is the same way if he doesn't have sex and he's circ'd. I don't think it has anything to do with that guy's foreskin, its just him.

ETA: Oh, just wanted to add that I used to babysit a little boy (who is circ'd) just a little older than my DS. He ALWAYS has his hands down his pants but my (intact) DS has never really messed with his.
post #35 of 82
Oh, my.

post #36 of 82
The masterbation argument is what sealed the deal with dh. When we were learning about circumcision, he said he had always wondered why American society adopted a Jewish covenant. He thought that there had to be a health benefit. When he found out that it was to prevent masterbation, he was appalled. Every single circ'ed man that he knows masterbates - a lot.
post #37 of 82
Originally Posted by earthmama369 View Post

What would she do with a girl?

Well I'd assume if un-circed males never masturbate than girls never masturbate either...or something like that.

Wow, my circed husband laughed at that and said "but that's not how it works!".
post #38 of 82
Wow...I'm speechless.
post #39 of 82
i must ask if she is willing to do this to her sons then what would she do to a girl would she do the same to her since being around kids being a babysitter, nann, have a daycare.... i have seen more girls with their hands down their panties playing with themselves then i have boys so is she going to remove her clit?? it is equal to a boys foreskin and a child learns what they see and what they are taught if they are taught that is not something to do it will be only become sexual when they are a teen when they get the hormones before that it is no different then them playing with belly button, sucking thumb or anything else that makes them "feel good" it is not sexual they dont know what that is it is a adult that has those feeling not a child............... sorry for the rant but truely this is what i would say to her
post #40 of 82
Originally Posted by phatchristy View Post
Hmm...we need to get these links together. Circumcised men have HIGHER frequency of masturbation AND alternate sexual practices. I've read it in several places. They theorize the reason is that since circumcised men "feel less" they compensate with increased frequency (and often have to resort to using other things that stimulate their minds, such as pornography).

Pretty scarry stuff that she is doing this for that reason : .

This is EXACTLY what I was thinking. I know I've read about this as well - because circed men are missing an important part of their anatomy that facilitates sexual sensation (yet the sexual urge is still there), they have higher rates of both masturbation AND 'alternative' sexual practices in a vain attempt to have the sexual experience their body seems to realise subconsciously that they are missing.

What incredibly warped reasoning. :

But I think you are doing very well, keeping the conversation open with her. Way to go, you.

How do you think the human rights angle would play? Making her think about her son's right to make decisions about his own body.

Ask BM31 what circ did to his life.

As for what men who are intact today think about being intact vs. being circed - if we educated our sons about what circ takes from men, they are very unlikely to be upset that we didn't alter/diminish their sexuality without their consent!

And circ rates are VERY different know anyway - there are going to be TONS of intact boys/men when her sons are growing up - does she really want to explain to them when they are adults that she had them circed because she didnt' want them to enjoy sex as much?! Really? :
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