ds2 and ds1 were playing together, they both got irritable and there was a little pushing and shoving, then ds2 picks up one of the rather large and heavy wooden blocks they were playing with and threw it at ds1. it ht him in the face and it REALLY hurt him.
i shouted,
, i shouted that he had really hurt his brother, and that he was really sad and that it was a really horriblw thing to do, then i called him a 'horrible boy' 
:
i hugged ds1 for ages, while ds2 watched, ds1 kept saying he wanted ds2 to go away, and i responded by saying i understood but if i got up to take ds2 in to his own room i wouldnt be able to hold him anymore and that hugging him was more important. and i think it was important for ds2 to see how much he had hurt his brother.
i then explained to ds1 that ds2 had thrown the block becuase he was feeling angry and that he probably had no idea it would hurt him so much, but also that throwing things was NOT ok. several times ds2 wanted to hug his big brother, but ds1 was too upset and wanted him to go away, so i told ds2 that he was not ready for hugs yet and to sit down.
i also apologised to ds2 and explained that people do and say things when they are angry that they dont mean to - aka throwing blocks or calling names.
dd then came to hug ds1 as well and ds2 was very upset that he wasnt being allowed to hug his brother better as well. ds1 suddenly decided at that point that he was ready for ds2 to hug him and he accepted his apology very kindly. and i think ds2 learned an important lesson by seeing how hurt his brother was and felt genuine remorse - i never told him to say sorry or hug his bother he just wanted to.
i think apart from calling ds2 a horrible boy i handled it ok, but i really regret those words. i wish i hadnt shouted, ds2 learned a lot purely from the consequences of his actions, my shouting did not in anyway help the situation, it was just me blowing off steam
:
within minutes the boys were playing together again, and ds1 even allowed ds2 to cuddle up in bed with him while they had stories read, and was very sweet to him. i explained to ds1 that ds2 really was sorry he had hurt him so badly and ds1 said that he knew that.
i am so proud of them both - but not so of myself.
thanks for listening, i will work on letting them learn lessons from the consequences of their actions and try not to shout.
i shouted,
, i shouted that he had really hurt his brother, and that he was really sad and that it was a really horriblw thing to do, then i called him a 'horrible boy' :i hugged ds1 for ages, while ds2 watched, ds1 kept saying he wanted ds2 to go away, and i responded by saying i understood but if i got up to take ds2 in to his own room i wouldnt be able to hold him anymore and that hugging him was more important. and i think it was important for ds2 to see how much he had hurt his brother.
i then explained to ds1 that ds2 had thrown the block becuase he was feeling angry and that he probably had no idea it would hurt him so much, but also that throwing things was NOT ok. several times ds2 wanted to hug his big brother, but ds1 was too upset and wanted him to go away, so i told ds2 that he was not ready for hugs yet and to sit down.
i also apologised to ds2 and explained that people do and say things when they are angry that they dont mean to - aka throwing blocks or calling names.
dd then came to hug ds1 as well and ds2 was very upset that he wasnt being allowed to hug his brother better as well. ds1 suddenly decided at that point that he was ready for ds2 to hug him and he accepted his apology very kindly. and i think ds2 learned an important lesson by seeing how hurt his brother was and felt genuine remorse - i never told him to say sorry or hug his bother he just wanted to.
i think apart from calling ds2 a horrible boy i handled it ok, but i really regret those words. i wish i hadnt shouted, ds2 learned a lot purely from the consequences of his actions, my shouting did not in anyway help the situation, it was just me blowing off steam
:within minutes the boys were playing together again, and ds1 even allowed ds2 to cuddle up in bed with him while they had stories read, and was very sweet to him. i explained to ds1 that ds2 really was sorry he had hurt him so badly and ds1 said that he knew that.
i am so proud of them both - but not so of myself.
thanks for listening, i will work on letting them learn lessons from the consequences of their actions and try not to shout.
- I was HORRIFIED that one could do that to the other. I brought them both over to the couch, and brought out the photo albums and I showed them pictures of themselves as babies. I said to the oldest, "who's that?" (it was her) "and that's my baby, do you think I would let anyone bite my baby??" Then I showed her a picture of her sister as an infant "how do you think Mama feels when she sees you about to bite her baby?" My oldest "got it" and aside from the scream, I thought I handled it well, but it is heartbreaking to see one kid hurting the other!!
