Anyone know about surrogates?

[Nammymom]

Hi, I'm a the point of giving up attempts to make my body produce a baby....after 4 babies dying in a row, I don't have it in me anymore.
Do any of you know about surrogates? I know a clinic where I could hire a sur., buy donor egg, buy donor sperm, etc. for $50K + which we don't have.
Have any of you heard about finding a surrogate privately? How would you go about it, what would one need to consider? What kind of costs are involved? We're mostly looking into adoption right now, but I'd like to learn what my options are.
Also, have any of you had good experiences with donor eggs? Embryo adoption?
I can get pregnant, fairly quickly, it's just, the babies have died at various points during pregnancy (9 wks, 11 wks, 16 wks, 40.5 wks at birth). So I'm afraid there's something about my body....it could be my eggs, could be bad luck, hormonal problems, .... Could it be a problem with my uterus? After a c/s and 2 D&C (not to mention 2 abdominal surgeries when I was a kid), could there be a problem there?

[Rockies5]

There is a thread on the tribals called something like "Mamas interested in surrogacy" or something similar. You can post classifieds in several places online to look for one and may or may not save money that way, but you'll still have to do all the work yourself (education, backround checks, finding clinics, lawyers etc). I don't know if I can post names of other BB here or links so I just won't. Even if your sister volunteers for free you still have to get is all legal and have lawyers and whatnot, but it would be less then a stranger. There are independent surrogates who carry babies for a fraction of what the average is, and some that do it for nothing but the thrill

There are more options then you might know.

You could use your egg and sperm and have someone else grow the baby (gestatinal surrogacy) and have a genetic child.

You could use a donor egg and his sperm or complete donor embryos and hire or have a friend surrogate the womb for you.

You could use the same donor and surrogate and your husbands sperm (traditional surrogate)

or you could adopt.

You might have to adopt your own baby if a surrogate carries it depending on the state you live or where she gives birth.

I'm sure the situation can get pretty complicated, even more then I've outlined here.

But most importantly, you first have to work out how you would deal with all the situations., how your husband feels about it and if you guys could emotionally manage having someone else carrying your child. Whether it's your sister, neighbor or someone 1,000miles away that has to be a hard thing to do!

[Nammymom]

Thanks, Rockies! I'd like to find out more about finding a surrogate. Can you private-message me the info?
We live in Oregon, don't know about the laws but of course I'd find out.
Neither of our sisters would be a surrogate for us. I know it can be tricky with a stranger, too. But considering the alternative is adoption, where everything is up in the air (drug exposure, health, birthmom may change mind) compared to hiring someone who would presumably get regular prenatal care....doesn't sound so bad. The big fear is that the sur. could miscarry or change her mind.
Any words of wisdom would be great. Thank you!

[Nyamae's Mama]

My mother was a surrogate and I have been an egg donor (twice for the same family). I would be happy to chat about our experiences with you, but I have trouble getting lots of time online (17 month old). You are welcome to pm me and maybe we could chat by phone at a later date. Good luck in your research.

[UberMama]

http://www.surromomsonline.com/support

And then there's a thread over on the tribal board as well, as someone else said.

[FallingLeaves]

I am so sorry about your losses. I don't know anything about surrogates but was wondering if your doctor has done any kind of testing? My cousin lost 4 babies at different points in her pregnancies and through testing found out she has a clotting issue. I think she took heprin injections and now has 3 healthy children. Two of my friends also had problems with losing thier babies during pregnancy and also found out they had some sort of clotting issues. They were also treated with heprin.

[Nammymom]

clotting issues

Yes, I've had testing done. They took like 12 vials of blood! All checked out. Also did u/s to check ovarian reserves, all was fine. Then we did regular prenatal tests, blood panel & quad. screen, various u/s.... During last pregnancy I was on baby aspirin to help with any potential clotting issues. Also progesterone supplementation since prog. was low during 1st m/c pregnancy. I'm really at a loss. I'm willing to try all kinds of things, past life regression or whatever. It's puzzling and sad beyond belief. Right now, my body needs a break and my heart & arms need a baby.

[roadfamily6now]

I am a surrogate.
I would love to help answer your questions. I dont post here much and have trouble keeping with this huge board and sooo many threads.
You can email me for a faster reply

Tammy
[e-mail]

[Starr]

Just wanted to add that a week ago my sister gave birth to a little boy acting as a surrogate for her twin sister. We did briefly look into a surrogate but chose the adoption route instead.