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Sexing up our kids....

post #1 of 73
Thread Starter 
I was out today buying my daugter some ballet shoes, we had to go to the mall, because it was the only Payless Shoe store close to us with ballet shoes. So the kids and I have a look around. (We haven't been to the mall since the holidays)
I was shocked. The clothes they are marketing to little girls is outragous! I think it is totally wrong to dress a baby/toddler/adolecent/pre-teen in those hoochie mama clothes!
Don't get me wrong, I like low rider pants and shirts that show off my belly button ring (the reason I got it!) But I am an adult! I am in control of my sexuality... I know what it is! But little girls have no idea! And the fact that they are forced to dress this way is sick!
I saw string bikini underwear for girls as young as 2! And low rider short shorts, halter tops that where low cut! It was nasty! And anyone who says that little girls (as young as 6 months) want to dress this way, is fooling themselves.
As we looked around my daughter found nothing she would want to wear, she said there wasn't enough material. It showed to much of her skin.
I know girls, as they get older, like to dress in a little less. But come on! A 2 year old sure as heck doesn't want to wear platform sandles and a micro mini sun dress!
I have a friend who sends her daughter to a private school, were they wear a uniform. But that girl (same age as DD) is a fashion slave. She isn't even 9 yet, and wants only name brands. And they all have to be "sexy". Twisted!
My DD has her own style. At first I was a little embarrassed by her wild clothing ideas, but now I have to say I am proud. She could care less about who made the clothes, and she wants it to fit right!
I am alone here in thinking that we are making our daughters to sexual to young? It is crazy to me!

HEATHERH
post #2 of 73
i have three boys who are still rather young, but my five year old is already singing the K-I-S-S-I-N-G song. they are absolutely PUSHED into sexy stuff. i am afraid of what will happen when my kids are in school with the girls who wear the hoocie mama clothes (as I also refer to them). I will NEVER go into abercrombie because they are the ones that made the news for marketing thongs to six year old girls. You pretty much have to make your own clothes or go to some granola head place or land's end or something and then your kid won't be cool. we have to raise our boys to grow up and commend those women who are BRAVE enough to resist the EVERYTHING's on show mentality. I have started by having my children refer to older female persons as WOMEN, not girls not ladies, or anything worse. I hope your daughter continues to be thoughtful and critical and find the way to express herself that does not conflict with her own ideals....with you as her parent i am sure she will.
post #3 of 73
I must say, I agree with you - dh and I were talking about this just the other day. I think it's dangerous, actually. Not that a provacatively dressed 5 year old is going to turn someone into a pedophile, but from what I have read, pedophiles use the fact that children are dressed in this way to justify their actions to themselves...

My girls get most of their clothes from Gymboree - we have a shop near us that has a whole section dedicated to 'sale' stuff (anywhere from 40-70% off), so I can afford stuff there. At least they look like little girls...

My Mom occasionally sends us OshKosh stuff as well - which also looks like it belongs on a young child, rather than a teenager. There is stuff out there - but why is it the expensive stuff?
post #4 of 73
i agree the cloth for kids these days is crazy. makes me think what will be out there to buy my dd when she is 2:
post #5 of 73
I also think this trend in girls clothing is having another effect on their sexuality. It is encouraging girls to become sexually active at a much younger age.

My soon-to-be 11 year old daughter came home from school about halfway though the school year, and told me that there was a girl in her class that just found out she was PREGNANT! And not only that, she had been bragging before that she was having sex with her "boyfriend" and was PROUD she got knocked up!

Thank goodness neither of my girls are into that mode of dress, are NOT interested in boys, and think this whole thing of showing as much as legally allowed is insane. I think I've done well there

As for shopping for modest clothes: Consider shopping at Wal-Mart. I know they're evil, but there are plenty of things in the misses section, that are modest, and won't make your wallet go up in flames
post #6 of 73
I'm in 2 minds about these clothes for little girls. On the one hand, I think they're ok if the child doesn't associate them with 'sexy'. I mean a 2 year old in a mini skirt isn't such a big deal. If the child just likes the material or something and doesn't even notice it's a short skirt then I wouldn't stop her wearing it or make it an issue. Preserve the innocence kinda thing. Same with halter tops or anything skimpy - a child's body is not sexualised unless we make it so.

The problem of paedophiles is with the paedophiles not with what the child is wearing - they're always gonna look for a 'reason'.

But a 9 year old trying to be 'sexy' like her friends - NO, NO, NO. In general, I dislike the idea of trying to dress children in adult clothing. I don't like little boys in suits and ties either, looks silly I think. And I'm also totally against provocative advertising.
post #7 of 73
mamaofthree, first I need to bow down to you for having THREE children and still having the bod for belly baring shirts and a navel ring!!!

There have been so many threads like this one, a couple probably started by me! It's a huge pet peeve of mine. I don't have too much trouble finding decent clothes for dd, though. I get her some Land's End, and I find often cute things at Old Navy that are stylish enough to please her (and me, I admit it, it's fun to buy cute clothes for a girl...don't hit me!) but not revealing or sexy. She is still in the 4-6x sizes, though, and I've heard that once they move up to 7-14 it gets harder. Old Navy tends to have the same styles in all sizes, though, so I'll keep on shopping there!

I don't think the issue is about attracting pedophiles as much as it is about the messages we are giving girls about their value. We can easily blame pop culture for this (thanks a million, Britney and Christina : ), but honestly, if parents weren't so clueless and didn't buy the stuff, clothing manufacturers would stop making it. I think it is so, so sad that there are parents who are teaching their daughters that being sexually attractive to men is of tremendous importance. And it stinks that we mamas who are working to send our daughters better messages about themselves have to worry about what they will learn from schoolmates and billboards and television and so on.
post #8 of 73
I was at the mall last summer and saw a woman buying THONG underwear for her 10 or 11 year old daughter that said "FOXY" or something equally trashy across the front. I was soooo floored, I had to ask the guy working the counter, "Did that little girl just purhase thong underweaar????" He nodded and looked (almost) as disgusted as I.
post #9 of 73
I know!! I know!! sometimes I look at the clothes and go "yuck! argh!!"
In a way, it's kind of sad, what these manufacturers have in mind.... what companies have in mind. You know they say if you get a young kid to like your product since young, you have a follower for life- that's what branding, marketing n advertising is abt, esp when targeting young minds!!

I don't know for how long I can dress my little girl in what I like, what I feel looks great on her.... I pray for strength n wisdom when the time of clothing battle comes.....
post #10 of 73
I make children's cloths, for my own and for others. I also buy a lot of clothes from children's boutiques. I buy from them because most of the clothes up to size 8 in girls, is "girly" and appropriate and modest but also fun and whimsical. A lot of vinatage styles are in childrens boutiques and the quality is worth every penny. My daughter wears a 6-6X now. It is getting to be slim pickings in the clothing department at department stores, walmart, or the like. Instead of saying Girls Size 7-14 on the signs over the department it should say "Welcome to Young Hoochie Mama Clothing". I am sure that over the next year I will be doing a lot more sewing for my daughter because I REFUSE to dress her in what is considered "trendy" right now. The clothing is to "sexy". Little girls should not be dressed to look like street walkers.
post #11 of 73
I agree totally! I am disgusted by the clothes I see in stores.

I mean honestly, what is the point of baring your tummy when your torso is shaped like an apple - little girls don't have waists and hips! They don't have breasts so why the halter tops? It's crazy! So you end up with nine year olds who are worried about their "figure" (uh, I thought you had to go through puberty to have a "figure"!) and their body shape (pre-teens wanting breast implants? plasic surgery?) and it's just all so sick, leading to eating disorders and poor selfimage b/c they can't possibly look the way they expect to in these clothes (ie. like Brittney!).

Then you've got the whole concept of sexuality. Girls need to learn about it, how to handle it, etc but I don't think this is acheived by dressing them like tarts. Thing is, you can be *very* sexy in a classy way. You can show off your figure (and you might as well when you're young and have a great body) in ways that aren't cheap, you don't need to reveal everything. Girls need to understand the difference between the good kinds of attention and the bad kinds of attention: too many of them think any kind of attention is good, and they know they get it when they dress like slut-bunnies.

I really want my DD to understand the difference between SEXY and SLUTTY. There's class and there's trash and the stuff they are marketing to kids these days is just TRASH!!

post #12 of 73
It is wierd for me because with mny oldest two I go between showing off the baby rools with lily to trying to find a few modest outfits for Madeline. It is wierd because I think halters and short dresses are only appropriate for the very young. with bellys and bloomers to show off. Now we are getting to the point where I don't feel comfortable with madeline (almost 7) wearing a two peice or short dress. I don't like her running around in her swimsuit. Shopping for clothes this fall was a nightmare. Black lace see through shirts, minu skirts, flared lowrise jeans (she is short and still a little chubby in the middle - flares and lowrise are not a good look for her) and what is up with shoes. In my baby's size - infant 2 - all I could find was platforms. we are talking about kids who either aren't walking or just getting the hang of it and they are selling them platforms.

aggghhh! I could go on all day about this. The best places to shop are Hannah Anderson (dh hates thier stuff and refers to it as "the mumu store" but ilike them draped in mumus over kinderwhore wear) gymboree (now in XXXL woohoo!!) and occaisionally Gap and Old navy have some decent stuff (check the racks behind thier kinderwhore sections). Lands in has nice stuff too.

The all time worst that I have seen (and there are just some stores we don't go into so this may seem mild) was a denim skirt, above ankle lengtj. we thought we had finally found something decent and then we noticed thier was a split all the way up to the crotch. size freaking 7. I don't think the desighners relize who they are making these clothes for really. I used to work at Kohls (where we found the offending skirt) and there was one line of clothing that stood out as little girl stuf in the 7-16 size range . Healthtex. And we used to comment everytime how the manufacturers just didn't get it who would want to wear something so babyish when they are in this size. it never occured to me a 5 or 6 year old would be in those sizes. And even as dd grows that is still the exact sort of clothing she wears (as a matter of fact a big cheer goes up every time we score some of that healthtex stuff on the clearance rack :LOL) It would appear they are the only ones with a clue.
post #13 of 73
I am only 23 so haven't been out of the teenage stuff too long. Everybody used to harass my mom when I was a young teen and wore the baggy saggy style. I had boxers on with my pants sagging and big shirts. My mom's response was always, I would rather have her wear that than tight and revealing. I looked like a gangster, but at least not like a slut. I can't believe they are selling stuff that I wouldn't even wear as an adult woman to children. I don't have a daughter yet, and I hope the clothing makers get their act together by the time I do. All they are teaching girls with clothing like that is that their body is the only thing that matter about them. The hypocracy of America preaching abstinence, abstinence, yet selling clothes that scream sex at such a young age. I was a teen not too long ago and I found the hypocracy of it all to be enraging.
post #14 of 73

id avoid "sexy", but

in summer i am ok with tank tops and short stuff.

id NOT be ok with "sexy " stuff. i think there is a difference.

hard to verbalize.


i dont have a girl. i have two boys.


anyone notice boy shorts are LONG as pants??????????I hate them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! they dont keep the boys cool, they are ugly and get in the way.

swimming trunks are down to their KNEES

and girl stuff barely covers their privates.!!!!!!!!!

what gives?
post #15 of 73
That really burns me up! Whenever I see old navy ads the women and girls have shorts up to their crotch but the mens and boys are down past their knees!!! ACK!

It makes me crazy!!
post #16 of 73
I too have noticed the trend of dressing young girls older than their age. I started a thread about how the young girls (I mean six years old!!!) were dressed on American Juniors. These girls were wearing lipstick, hip huggers--which didn't flatter their shape, they looked weird, and tops that hung all off of their shoulders. One little girl was wearing a halter top and black tight pants with holes.

I believe these clothes were made to accentuate the body. A halter top is supposed to emphasis the breasts, hip huggers to show off a womanly shape and holes in your pants??? well, that goes without saying. These young girls do not have womanly bodies. They should not be sexualized. It is one thing if a grown woman who has control over her body and sexuality where's the clothes--more power to her...but the young girls? It doesn't make any sense. To me, it is just teaching them early that that is the way they SHOULD look no matter if they want to or not.

Kylix
post #17 of 73
Kylix, that is exactly my comment. We were watching the same show last night and dh and I were both disgusted and saddened by how some of the LITTLE girls were dressed and how they moved (shaking hips, etc). The sad thing is that thier parents,in most cases, put them up to it and encouraged them to act in a sexual manner. Very sad.
post #18 of 73
Thread Starter 
I am so happy I am not the only person out there who thinks girls clothing is crazy!

HEATHERH
post #19 of 73
Entirely to be expected, right? I mean, Barbie isn't known for covering much, right? And that's what the girls get starting at, oh, say, 3?4? yo ...

Hard to teach little ones to respect their bodies, that their bodies are their private property and not for other people or strangers, when you're dressing them to flash it. Kids understand hypocrisy; maybe not the word, but the concept is clear.
post #20 of 73
I am guily of dressing my first dd, when she was 6 and under, a litle too revealing. We thought all the tank tops were cute ect. Never did she look like a hoochiemama, just shorter shorts than what I would wear. I guess it was fun for me to buy cute clothes for her because I can't wear them myself. She's 7 now and I have a new dd, and things are changing.
No more tank tops unless they cover the chest well and have thick straps, no short shorts. dresses at least to kness or longer. No bikinis either.
After watching shows with little girls dressed up and seeing girls at the parks looking like britney spears I got kind of disgusted with myself for even getting her the stuff she used to wear, and it wasn't even that bad... Oh well live and learn.
Corrie
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