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Sexing up our kids.... - Page 2

post #21 of 73
I hate trying to shop for clothes for my girls. I love Hannah Anderson but usually can't afford it. I just don't understand why people think it's okay to put a 5 yo in a mini skirt w/a belly shirt and platform shoes? Argh!! This week I took Samantha shopping for sandals-that was a nightmare. 99.9% of the sandals had heels or were a platform shoe.Um no she has a hard enough time not tripping in sneakers and she's only 5.
I am not looking forward to shopping for school clothes.I need to start saving now so I can buy on line from Hannah Anderson and Lands End.
post #22 of 73
We get hannah anderson reasonably priced at thier outlet stores. The ones we shop at are in Minneapolis but I am sure there are others. Also check online. We get stuff for around the same price as Target. ALso in mineapolis there is a lands end outlet. Thier prices aren't great but still better than full price. Do you know anyone in Minneapoolis? (we have a SIL who graciously shops for us )
post #23 of 73

I agree

But what I hate even worse is the people who give these types of clothing as gifts to other peoples children. Okay you want to dress your child as a hooch is one thing but to assume that I would want to is crazy. I always end up with a few of these "so cute" gifts. One girl even made a comment, I know you probably won't let her wear it but I think it's time you let her be more grown up. WHat the ^%#$? My daughter is 21 months old BTW.
post #24 of 73
Definitely agree that a 9 year old does not need a thong. Thanks Abercrombie & Fitch, for providing yet another way for kids to be neurotic. My friend's 9 year old was mad for the hootchy look until we had a conversation with her in which she was made to understand that the cooty-covered boys WILL want to bug you if you dress that way. She really did not, in her mind, equate dressing sexily with unwanted male attention. She gets it now. Sometimes it's as simple as explaining why such clothing exists. She still likes halter tops but she does not wear them to school now nor does she make a stink about not being allowed to. People need to have these kinds of conversations with their kids earlier. I think kids can dress cool and can dress attractively without looking like they are trying to sell something they really haven't got yet.

Dressing children like mini-adults is an old, old thing. It's a sad thing too. Children grow up so fast. Why hasten it? Why make them feel even less like being a kid is an okay thing to be?

post #25 of 73
One girl even made a comment, I know you probably won't let her wear it but I think it's time you let her be more grown up. WHat the ^%#$? My daughter is 21 months old BTW.
Had to LOL at that. Uhhh, I think she can wait to be "grown up" until she can put on her own clothes... or at least pee in her own toilet!

That said, I do let DD wear bikinis. They fit her *way* better than one pieces since she is very thin. She still fits some 2T two piece swimsuits although she is almost 4.5. Today we were at the beach and to dry off I let her run around naked in the sun. I felt bad later when her best friend wanted to, but couldn't, because it wasn't appropriate. I just so don't think of her as a sexual being that I never find anything she wants to wear inappropriate. That said, she doesn't have any shirts that show her tummy and tends to wear "boys" pants (adidas warmups, sweats, etc...).

I HATE how long boys shorts are though! I have way more of an issue with DS--- he really wanted to get a matching "finding Nemo" dress with DD and I just *couldn't* get myself to buy it for him. He has longish hair and *loves* clips, loves getting his nails painted, etc... but I just couldn't buy him a dress (he is only 21 months btw).

I don't have a problem with skimpy swimsuits for kids my DDs age, because honestly I don't think she even needs a top. If DD wanted to go in just shorts I'd be like, "so what" her body, with shorts, doesn't really look different than her male friends! I encourage her to dress for comfort and thats about my input.

I do wish Hanna Anderson was cheaper though. The outlet is *great*. I got myself pjs there yesterday for $15 usually $56!

post #26 of 73
I saw a teen girl out today in what has come to be the norm. Lots of eye makeup, a very tight fitting top with only one sleeve, very low pants that barely appeared to cover her crack and tight as can be.
She was with her mom who was conservatively dressed and what appeared to be a sister who looked about 8 wearing similarly sexsy clothes.
I was disgusted.
post #27 of 73

i'm so glad i have a boy!

i REALLY wanted a girl, to dress in cute pink clothes, but it is SO hard to find anything that looks like KID'S clothes. i remember wearing halter tops when i was little- the white off the shoulders with blue & red embroidery- anyone else remember those? (i'm 29.) i do not have a problem w/ little girls, like age 4 & under, in bikinis or tank tops, if they are the little kid style, ie a bilini w/ bright fishor flowers rather than sequins or lace.

i totally agree that the media & the clothing companies are distorting the image of what a young girl should look like, it makes me want to cry when i hear a child as young as 7 or 8 talking about needing to lose weight.

i'm glad you posted this, heather. i agree totally.

post #28 of 73
My dd is 9. We stopped buying her brand new clothes a couple yrs. ago, the styles are just toooo 'hoochie mama' for me to buy.
I'm pretty open with dd. She can wear pretty much whatever she wants as long as she doesn't look like a streetwalker. My dd won't even TOUCH 1/2 the clothes out there! Last time I tried to treat her to brand new clothes, she asked if I could just save the 20.00 and go garage saling with her on Thurs.lolShe said the clothes would make her look naked.

BTW,I hate the boys/mens shorts thing too! Dh hates shorts that long. And dd would like to get some till we see how long they are.
post #29 of 73
I noticed the change in little girl's clothes a few years ago, when I was trying to find something to buy my SIL(she's 11 now)for Christmas. Even Walmart/Kmart sells the hoochie mama clothes!! It does make me glad to have boys(and yeah, I do have the problem of my 7yo's jean shorts sitting at his knees, but as for swimming trunks, he's got a non-existent butt, a size 5 pair fits him fine, and they're shorter than the current style)

I saw an infant's bathing suit at the local discount store the other day, a strink bikini , that was 2 stars connected with a 1/2 inch wide piece of fabric for the top!! OMG was all I could say. There would be no way in H*ll any daughter of mine would ever wear something like that.
post #30 of 73
Yeah, bathing suits are different - I have no issues with two-piece bathing suits on little girls. Honestly, they're easier once they use the toilet! But there's a difference between a cute girly two-piece and a sexy string bikini in a size 4, KWIM? I remember one time seeing these tiny little string bikinis with the traingle tops in the toddler section of the Gap, and they were made from shiny silver fabric. Ugh.
post #31 of 73
Land's End has some pretty cool clothes for girls. Nice bathings suits with no Hootch Factor. www.landsend.com

post #32 of 73
Low rise underwear for girls is very much in demand for my girls. Why? They don't want a boy teasing them that they can see their underwear!
post #33 of 73
Well, here's what I think. I don't think kids really start caring about what they wear until they are age 4 or so, and up to that age, it's the parent's choice what they wear. But once they start having an opinion, I think it is the kid's choice. (Keep in mind I am only talking about my parenting philosophy for my family; not anyone else's kids!)

I believe in freedom-of-expression rights for children, even if I do not agree with what they want to express. A choice of clothing is one way people express themselves. If I can afford a particular item of clothing that dd wants, I think I should buy it for her. It can be said that little girls don't really want to dress that way, but if dd is pointing to something and says "I want that" then to me it says she wants that.

What I don't like, though, is the way little girls' clothes - the sexy and non-sexy ones - are made of really cheap non-durable fabric. Also, sometimes the clothes are not comfortable. I have the kind of body people normally like to display in string bikinis but I cannot bear to wear one because they are so uncomfortable and impractical! I really wish I could find one that works, though. I can just imagine how uncomfortable a 2-year-old would be in one of those. And the shoes - they are all so narrow! I buy wide sizes for dd so she doesn't grow up with the typical foot of the American female - narrow and scrunched. Her feet are square and wide, and I think that's the way they are supposed to be - not pointy!

Flimsy clothes are not good for playing in mud and rolling in the grass. I want to encourage these activities. One way I do this is by buying boys' clothes, which is an option for anyone here. They will be more comfortable and longer-lasting. And I get all kinds of comments about my "long-haired son!"

And also, if I don't want my dd to do something I should not do it either. If I don't want her eating candy, I don't eat it myself. So if I don't want her dressing like me, I have to stop dressing that way. Of course a girl is going to want to look like Mommy.

I read one Dear Abby that cautioned against sexy clothes for children in case "there is a 'funny uncle' around." Uh, sorry, but if a "funny uncle" is around, you child is not safe, no matter what she wears. She could wear a burqa and still the uncle would be "funny."

Anyway...that's what I think. I just wanted to make a pitch for dressing girls in boys' clothes. Does anyone else do this?
post #34 of 73
just wanted to make a pitch for dressing girls in boys' clothes. Does anyone else do this?
Definately. In fact, DD often chooses "boy" clothes. For her summer jammies at Target for girls they had... hearts, bows, flowers? For boys? Fire fighters, super heros, jungle animals (the ones she picked) etc... Sweatpants in the winter: boys have cuffs and are heavier, girls have a bow, no cuffs and lighter material. Jeans are just whatever fits! Panties, though, *have* to be girls, LOL

post #35 of 73

Re: id avoid "sexy", but


Originally posted by sleepies
anyone notice boy shorts are LONG as pants??????????
Some of them are long enough, especially once they go around a bulky CDing tushie, that I just get them AS pants for my short-legged boy. LOL.

BTW...you can often find shorter shorts in resale shops and thrift stores. I have a bunch of hand-me-downs from a now 5 year old and those are some seriously short shorts!
post #36 of 73
We don't buy a lot of boy clothes because I have super girly girls who almost always wear dresses anyway. But sweats absolutly must be bought in the boys department. occaisionally jeans but we rarely buy those new anyway.

I don't have a problem with two peice swimsuits. even skimpy ones so long as thier intent is not to look sexually appealing. The little star one is a clsassic design. when it comes right down to it little babies need not even wear cloths in the pool;. a little swim suit is just adornment anyway. Two peices last longer and are easier to getup and down when they gottsa pee but have waited to the very last minute to tell you in hopes that they won't have to miss anything in the pool : But again, we never get anything sexy. Also now that dd is 7 I am starting to feel a little less keen on getting her 2 peices. We are very mosdest and everyone dresses very modestly around here. I always cover something when swimming (I either wear shorts or a top but never go completely exposed) so perhaps we are a little over the top for modesty but it is important to me.

Also I don't thjink little girls can fully appreciate what thier clothing choices do to men and boys. until they do get it I think it is important that parents step in and say "no, that is just too sexy. You will understand one day"
post #37 of 73
Also I don't thjink little girls can fully appreciate what thier clothing choices do to men and boys.
I plan to tell my dd the truth about this as soon as I think she will understand - that girls and their clothing do not "do" anything to boys. Boys and men choose to sexualize and objectify girls and women, and female clothing is used as an excuse to justify everything from rape to murder.

There is no universal standard for what males will find "sexy." There are men who are turned on by long skirts, full-coverage underwear, even burqas!

Also, girls are aroused by boys' clothing as well, only no one really wants to talk about it. Girls may be showing their bellies, while boys show their breasts! People say that male breasts are not "erotic," but they lie!!

Anyway...I probably would have posted this even if I didn't quote anything.

About the thongs...I don't really care what underwear my dd chooses to wear when she is out of diapers. I mean, it's underwear - not likely to be seen! I almost never wore underwear at all until I was 16. I think one thing a I can do as a parent to make toilet training seem more appealing is to tell dd she can wear whatever kind of underwear she wants. It wouldn't make sense to take that choice away from her at age 10 just so she won't wear a thong. Again, my only concern would be the comfort issue.

And with swimsuits, as long as she's still in diapers she can just wear one of those swim diapers and wouldn't really need a suit.
post #38 of 73
post #39 of 73
That's right about the thongs - (I keep typing 'things'!) they are often peeking out and I have never cared for that style. I've noticed it's not just with thongs, it's with all underwear now. I would be embarrassed to be walking around with my underwear hanging out the way people do now.

Even when I was a kid and wearing that baggy pants with boxers style, I always kept the boxers covered. I do wear those low waist jeans now but I check in the mirror from every angle to make sure my underwear is tucked away.

I realize clothes can often be a sexual statement but a lot of responsibility for that is on the one who is looking - I also used to be one to blame other people for "making me think and do things." Like, if a topless man was lying asleep in a public park, I would think, "What a (insert sexually shaming word)" and then think he deserved whatever came to him. Later I could see that in fact he had done nothing wrong and I was using that as an excuse to justify my behavior. I think if a female is harassed or raped it's the male who has a serious problem that really has nothing to do with her clothes.

If it were all about clothes, no modestly-dressed woman would ever be harassed, but we know it happens.
post #40 of 73
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