So annoyed at sibs, advice how to handle?

[kalynnsmom]

My grandmother passed away this week so I've been with family most of the week, which includes 2 brothers and a sister, all in their 20's.

I have twin boys that I am exclusively nursing. And of course, I had to nurse them during that time..Here's a lowdown on what happened:

-One of the babies was getting fussy and I said "Aww, I know what will make you happy!" and proceed to nurse him. My sister says "Eww, that's sick"

-Nursing baby and I NOTHING was showing. My sister walks in and says "eww..let me know next time"

-My sister said "Well, why can't you pump?"

-At my grandmother's wake and my brother says "You aren't going to whip them out are you?" (I have never "whipped" anything out for that matter)


I am getting QUITE annoyed with their attitudes torwards me nursing. Any suggestions I could say next time I'm faced with their attitudes? Frankly, I'm tired of defending myself..

[stacey2061]

first of all, my condolences.

honestly, i wouldn't bother with any clever retorts at this time. everyone (including you, mama!) is probably feeling awful right now ~ a death in the family sometimes brings out the best, sometimes the worst in people. while you're grieving might not be the best time to "start something" (even though, i know, they are the ones starting it). maybe the next time someone makes a rude comment just say, "this isn't the time to be discussing how i feed my children," or, "i'd rather spend this time remembering grandma"

if you really need to duke it out over this, wait until everyone's feeling a bit better. i'd hate to hear about your permanently falling out with your sibs. usually i'd say, let 'em have it, but while everyone's emotions are running high is never a good time to rise to their bait. good luck

[CalebsMama05]

i would just ignore them

[intorainbowz]

So very sorry for your loss.

Similar things happened when DH's grandma died. I glared at them and asked them if they really thought Abuela wanted the baby to go hungry.

Someone told me not to nurse in the Catholic church where the service was held. I told them that Pope John Paul II was very supportive of nursing and that Jesus was breast fed, so I'll listen to them.

I hate the whip it out statement. I got that once, and that statement caused me to chose to actually whip it out.

It is really hard when you are grieving to deal with this crap from others. I'm with Stacey... I'd say this is not the appropriate time to discuss (and hope that they forget to bring it back up, or you bring it up when you are ready to educate.)

One family member was very rude, so I said I'd stop nursing when Abuela got up and told me to stop. That got a gasp and that lady huffed off. But I'm like that.

[kalynnsmom]

Thank you for your condolences. It's been a hard week.

And I agree, I didn't really say anything, I just blew them off.

Unfortunately, I know that they will say something again. My sister was pretty rude about it when I nursed my first daughter. At a later time, is there some things I can say if they bring it up again? (next time I see them will be Easter)

The rest of my family is very supportive, and got nothing but positive comments from my Tias..

[ErikaLeigh]

I would tell them that these are the decisions that you have made for YOUR child and if they don't like it to look away!

[lesley&grace]

I am so sorry for your loss and that your siblings seem to be intent on making you feel worse by making negative comments about you doing the best thing for your babies.

If the subject comes up again at Easter time, which from what you have posted I'm sure it probably will, I would probably just sigh in a long suffering manner and say

"It must be so difficult to be so ignorant. Please take your negativity away from me and my babies."

But then...I'm a bit of a b*t*h, and I have learned that when people are being repeatedly rude to you sometimes getting a bit of their own back is exactly what they need.

Another route you could take is write each of your siblings a nicely worded e-mail or letter that says you are not sure exactly why they have such an issue with your breastfeeding, especially since (insert WHO and AAP recommendations as well as links to those resources), but that it is their problem not yours. Tell them you were upset that they decided to slam you for it at your grandmother's wake. And then tell them further comments will not be tolerated, basically if they don't like, don't look.

This is one of those times when essentially you may have to tell them to get over it, and stop defending yourself. Once you have said your piece, ignore them.

[rmzbm]

Originally Posted by ErikaLeigh

I would tell them that these are the decisions that you have made for YOUR child and if they don't like it to look away!

: And, my condolances for your loss.

[Meiri]

I glared at them and asked them if they really thought Abuela wanted the baby to go hungry.

I think this would suffice.

[sapphire_chan]

Originally Posted by kalynnsmom

[LEFT]My grandmother passed away this week so I've been with family most of the week, which includes 2 brothers and a sister, all in their 20's.

I have twin boys that I am exclusively nursing. And of course, I had to nurse them during that time..Here's a lowdown on what happened:

-One of the babies was getting fussy and I said "Aww, I know what will make you happy!" and proceed to nurse him. My sister says "Eww, that's sick"

-Nursing baby and I NOTHING was showing. My sister walks in and says "eww..let me know next time"

<snark> But *he* did let you know, you just chose to stay in the room.</snark>

Oh, whoops, sorry two different occasions...

[lml41981]

Them: Eww gross!
You: I wasn't offering it to you.

Them: Eww warn me next time.
You: No need for that. I'm not offering it to you.

Them: Are you going to whip it out during the egg hunt?
You: I doubt it. I've never whipped it out. Sudden motions like that are painful.

Them: Do you have to do that here?
You: Yes.

Them: Can you cover up?
You: Already am covered up. See the baby?

[treqi]

tell them that someone out in cyberspace has a 17yo brother that although his sisers boob may be icky knows when to be kind and suppourtive my grandma passed in december and got some comments too (none were from my family though)