Subbing! I actually needed some vibration-raising - had a fairly heavy conversation with dh last night, which is OK because the stuff needs talking about, but then I couldn't get to sleep because I'd kind of missed the moment and I had to get up early to teach. I came down for a quick visit to the thread and found I had no internet connection...but dh spent 1.5 hours fixing it for me
while I was teaching, because, as he put it, being without a computer these days is pretty bad!
Originally Posted by Sphinxie
This issue has come up a lot in another online space I've been on for years. Whenever anyone talks about their relationship troubles, the others tend to interpret it as if that's the main thing or the only thing going on. That produces a lot of exagerrated response. We've all learned to reserve judgement under all but the most extreme conditions, and treat the situation as a process of which we're only getting a glimpse. Sometimes even if we interpret the glimpse accurately by itself, we still don't know the context... and do we really want to hear everything about every relationship so that we can know the background at any given point, every time? It reminds me of this idea that a medical test is only a snapshot of where your vibration's at at that moment (or perhaps in a pre-manifestation moment a little while before)... it's the same idea. While the snapshot may be an accurate snapshot, it's still just a snapshot.
Thank you for putting that so eloquently! It expresses so well what I think has happened with me here. To give all the background would take for ever - it took dh and me about 45 uninterrupted minutes each just to SAY all our stuff a month or two ago, let alone if one were to explain it for others to get the full context. There are so many intertwining threads after a 10 year marriage, and things which may set off one person or another may be deeply rooted in past hurts or misconceptions. Change is unsettling, too. Dh and I love each other very deeply, and I've said that on this thread, as well as having praised him for various things, and defended him too against charges of being controlling, when I knew it wasn't that.
I think what I woudl like to ask here is, how many of us have dhs who are fully on board with LoA stuff and the like, how many dhs are neutral and how many are actually threatened in some way by it? Presumably the first group are having a good time with it; how do the rest of us handle the issues that come up?
I personally feel I'm walking a fine line here; I don't want to jsut float off into space and get distant from him because my belief set is really changing; on the other hand I don't want to buy into his "everything is tough" mindset because that lowers my buzz. On the one hand I'm trying to find common ground, and present to dh the parts that he can comfortably agree with, like positive thinking and appreciating/helping each other. On the other hand when I do too much of that I feel I'm selling myself short. And in addition, if I'm just reinterpreting it to something he can "buy", then I'm also avoiding saying, "Well, yes, actually, above and beyond the parts of this that we both agree with, I really do believe my thoughts are affecting reality, and that we can get what we want easily."
That gets him all riled up because a) he thinks it's silly (and hey, that's just who he is, so that's OK), and b) it pushes some button of his that says "Penny is wacky and won't come through in a practical way on financial commitments and other stuff, and I'm carrying the heavy burden of worrying about it because she just isn't practical."
Without being too specific, this is kind of the central issue that's been there from the beginning. We knew long before we actually were free to date that we were destined to be together, but he's the kind of guy who likes to have all the practical stuff in place in order to make the jump, whereas I was expecting that with a love that powerful we would just commit to whatever lay ahead and work out the details later. I couldn't understand why he wouldn't just go for it, whereas he thought I was being wildly impractical and COULDN'T just go for it, even though his heart wanted to. In the end he did go for it but then kept constantly looking over his shoulder and worrying about it and complaining how tough it was and pulling one foot out again. That hurt me very much because I didn't feel that he was fully there. My reaction hurt him very much because he felt, well, I made the jump even though I was terrified, why doesn't she appreciate that? While there's more to it than that, all the issues we have now really stem from that central issue and how it's played out with extra layers added over the last whatever years.
I guess I am giving the background after all, because I'm looking for suggestions that really speak to the situation as it is. We're both feeling very sensitive right now and we still have a lot of stuff to work out. And he's saying, working stuff out is difficult and painful but we'll get there, and I'm saying, but it doesn't have to be so difficult!
Same issue really.
So what do you wise women have to say about this? Granted, we manjifested it as it is, but how do we get to where we want to be? I feel it would be much easier (obviously) if we were both on the same page with this LoA stuff, but that's not the reality on the ground right now, and how do I steer a path between using it for both of us, manifesting or not being able to manifest for him, and not hiding what I believe yet not having talk of the LoA actually divide us?
In addition, I learned he's still angry because he feels I'm telling ds stuff which is "not true", and, well, ds is his ds too and he feels that way because he cares about him very deeply. I mean, I would be very unhappy if he suddenly converted to Christianity started taking ds to church when we're Jewish, so I can see how that seems to him. His feelings are as real as mine and as worthy of compassion.
So please, don't tell me I'me focusing on negativity by posting this - I think I'm saying, here's what we've manifested up to now, we're both very committed to working it out and we're coming from rather different places - how do we get where we need to go given that we're appraoching it differently. And more specifically, I choose to believe that my beliefs and KNOWLEDGE of the LoA don't have to be a source of conflict, but any specific suggestons as to affirmations, exercises, etc. above and beyond the obvious things like gratitude and apprecitation which I already know and have mostly been applying with great results. I have been saying "everything is easy", but dh is human, and has his own feelings about this, and I do sometimes get....contrast dumped on me too! - even when I might not be expecting it
Originally Posted by Amris
Voyager: Eight of Wands, Harmony: This card shows 8 musical instruments. If you were to play any of these 8 instruments, they would each sound very different from one another. The harp does not sound like the drums, nor the drums like the violin, nor the violin like the piccolo, etc. Yet if you take all of these instruments, and play them at the same time, you can create music far, far more beautiful and stirring than any one of them plays alone.
This reminds us that everything that has happened in our lives has brought us to this place. We can either take all the parts of ourselves, even the parts that did wrong or experienced wrong, and create a grand masterpiece... or we can simply allow each part to play a different sheet of music, creating chaos and discord.
EMF card: Balance: definition 1: a state of remaining upright and steady; equilibrium definition 2: an appropriate proportionality between different elements.
To maintain balance, equilibrium, and harmony in your life, you must make all the parts of yourself play in harmony.
Make music from the passions of your soul.
Of course, I especially love this message!