Weekly Thread - March 25

[dctexan]

I love having one place to post in our DDC (and it's really the only thread in the DDC I even read anymore) so I thought I'd start off this weeks weekly thread.

to continue from last weeks thread...

Originally Posted by PiePie

I have been reading Brazelton, who is really anti-co-sleeping. I mean he makes all of these tolerant sounds when he addresses it directly, but his whole infant sleeping commentary is based on a model of independence and self-soothing. Of all of my AP choices, co-sleeping is the one I have the most doubts about, so this is stirring up some unresolved stuff for me.

PiePie - I hear you on the conflict about co-sleeping. I can see advantages and disadvantages to both choices. I am pretty sure DH and I are going to compromise somewhere in the middle with the babe in a pack and play next to our bed. If it doesn't work for us, we can adjust from there.

Where is everyone else planning on having the babe sleep?

[Alohamelly]

My daughter and I will be sharing a bedroom and bed when the baby comes and I want the baby to sleep with us, but I'm not sure what I'm going to do yet. When my daughter was a baby, co-sleeping was so perfect for us. I always felt like I got enough sleep because I was able to nurse and sleep at the same time. I kept a few diapers and wipes under my pillow so I could change her at night. I never had to get out of bed! It was awesome. I want that experience again, but I'm going to be flexible. I think I've decided to get an Arm's Reach co-sleeper. If I use it, I use it. If not, then I'm sure it'll make a great storage area!

I'm almost 21 weeks now, and am measuring a week ahead (that doesn't really matter though, does it). I've been feeling pretty good lately. I'm up and moving around more (despite some aches and pains still), nausea is all but gone. I still throw up once a morning, but it's manageable. I'm back to doing things around the house and cooking. I've missed cooking!

[jodib]

Well the plan at the moment is to have the baby sleep next to our bed in the porta-crib. It is wood and my mom had it in storage from when I was a baby. It is very sturdy etc. and the mattress can be put near the top just like the Arm's reach - and then moved to the bottom later and used as a cage - uh I mean playpen...

We have a queen bed - and DH and I are kinda big people, so we don't think it would be a safe idea to have the baby between us - but sidecars seem like the best choice.

My SIL gave us her old crib from my nephew, and we put it together - but won't likely use it for anything but the occasional nap till after 6 months or so (when they may be sleeping in the night more).

-Jodi

[SleepyMamaBear]

we cosleep, in the bed. it will probably end up being DH by the wall, like he is now, then myself, then the baby, then Addy in a twin bed pushed against ours. she isnt ready to not be co-sleeping anymore, and i am also not ready for her to.
i cant do baby in the middle cause DH is a very heavy sleeper, and is dangerous to even ME sleeping next to him (he has almost smothered me with his huge gorilla arms more times than i can count)
we have a cali king now. and we have enough room in our bedroom to have our bed, and a twin bed next to it and still have a bit of space left. but i need to get the boxes unpacked out of my closet, and put the dressers IN the closet. then we will have one huge matress room!

please please please dont buy into the fat people smother their babies crap.
one shouldnt co-sleep if they have breathing problems like APnea at night, take medications, alcohol, or recreational drugs that leave them unable to be safely responsive to their child. sleep too deeply (most DHs, but many moms find that even if they were deep sleepers, once they become moms they become light sleepers), is a smoker, sleeps with lots of fluffy pillows and blankets, or is just not responsive in the night time hours.
then again if one isnt responsive in the night time hours when you ahve a child, them sleeping in a crib or bassinet isnt that safe either.

for us, IMO co-sleeping is THE safe thing for our children and wouldnt have it any other way.
Brazelton has alot of good things to say about attatchment, etc, BUT alot of what he says is plain ol crap.
i highly suggest reading alot of Sears. any of them, all of them. read them.
also. take a class on early childhood development so you know what the child is developmentally ready for at approx what age. cause developmentally children arent ready to actually sleep through the night till they are about 3. but so many people want to put their children in cribs all night long and NOT do night time parenting.
your child needs his parent, even at night time.

[josybear]

we cosleep and i can't imagine doing it any other way. we only have a double bed so lately we've pulled a twinbed alongside to make space for all 3 of us, but we're hoping to get a queen sized beed before the baby comes. i suppose in august we'll need the twin alongside the queen so there's room for all 4 of us... maybe i should quit having babies before i just cover my whole floor in foamies and call it a bedroom.

[supermuma]

I coslept with my first two..for years. However, for some reason I am not sure what we are going to do with this one.

Our bed is high up on a frame and dh is pretty large (6'5)...so I also worry about there being enough room in our queen size bed....sometimes I don't feel like I have enough room!

I really don't like the looks of the co-sleeper....and I bought one with dd and sent it back immediately after her birth..when I decided it just was not going to work for us.

We have thought about a small crib..though, I really don't know how much it would get used..so, being realistic, we are thinking the best thing for us to do would be to splurge on a king size bed...and one of those co-sleeping pillow things. This is what I am leaning toward at this point...we will see what happens though..it seems like such an expensive solution..but well worth it, if we can pull it off!

--In terms of this week, I am feeling sluggish on and off. There are times each day when I feel great..but it wears off quickly and then I just need a nap. I have been going to bed earlier and earlier at night..usually right after the kids! Other than that, I am just getting bigger and bigger...and finding myself uncomfy more often than before...I am also feeling very regular movement !

Still on the diaper search..I think I have finally figured out which ones I want to use at various stages..now I am just searching for the best prices!

[Marlet]

We'll cosleep. We still do with DD on a queen though so we are working on getting her into a bed next to ours. We tried not having her in our bed when she was about a week old and we both just laid there wide awake. Finally DH says..."You going to go get her or should I?" It definitely works best for us. If this babe doesn't like it though we'll do a sidecar.

[Twinklefae]

We'll be trying co-sleeping with one of though in the middle of the bed mat things, mostly for DF, who is worried about squishing the baby. If that doesn't work, I don't know what we'll do, as we live in a small apt. and our bedroom is crammed to gills as is. I think it will work... wish us luck!

I've been feeling a _lot_ of movement for the past 4 or 5 days... I've decided that we're having a ping pong ball instead of a baby. I'm looking forward to finding out how much weight I've gained at my next prenatal appt. on Tuesday! (I'm 21 weeks) and this will be the first appt. since I"ve really popped.

[michellemk]

I should have pushed harder for the King sized bed last summer! I feel like I'm going to feel very squished sleeping in between my horizontal sleeping 2.5 yr. old DS and new baby. We have a co-sleeper that I like because baby can't fall off, but my son always ended up right next to me on the bed anyway. I think I'll get a twin size for him for next to my husband's side.

I'm feeling pretty well! 19 weeks...feeling little flutterings. So there really is a baby in there.

[pfamilygal]

We are absolutely not cosleepers. I am way to light of a sleeper and can hardly tolerate the baby in our room when the inlaws are here (our guest room doubles as the baby's room). Seriously, the tiniest peep and I am up. Plus, I thrash around in my sleep like a demoniac.

You have to do what is right for you. We just nightweaned and he'll be a year old on Tuesday (sniff, sniff). So you can still feed on demand with the baby in a crib, or even in another room. I brought Lukey to bed, nursed him half asleep and took him back. None of my kids have every nursed to sleep. We always put them down drowsy but awake and they nod off on their own.

[dantesmama]

We're cosleeping. DS is still in bed with us, and he's not ready to go anywhere - so we're going to invest in a king-sized mattress set. (We're in a full-size right now and as I get bigger, it's working less and less.) We just have the boxspring and mattress directly on the floor, so I don't know if it's worth it to splurge on the Humanity pillow - although I really, really want one . . . I'll have to butter up dp for that. :

I've been feeling pretty good lately. Very tired though, and having some trouble falling asleep at night. Blech. 20 weeks - holy cow! Halfway already! This is going by *way* too fast! I'm officially huge now. I look like I did at 7.5 months with DS. I can hear the baby's heartbeat very clearly with the fetoscope now - it's usually around 150bpm - although it depends on whether she (I think it's a girl ) feels like cooperating at that given time. She kicks very strongly now. My bladder and lower right ribcage are favorite targets. At night I pull my shirt up over my belly and watch the show - little feet poking out everywhere!

[PiePie]

SLEEP: We are planning on co-sleeping through the first year. We have a full-size bed -- we will need to make some adjustments, like removing the headboard and footboard, to make it safe for baby. We are also acquiring a hand-me-down crib. I can't imagine it fittinng in this apt. (I would like to move into a place we own during baby's first year), but DH can (with storage of certain furniture. I personally don't think DH's vision is safe -- it would have a dresser smack up against the crib, making for a nice step down for a climber, but a friend of mine who co-slept for 15 months notes that I do not have to address this yet. I had been concerned about where to put the babe for naps without us on either side, but this friend noted that babe won't roll over from back to front until about 5 months, so we don't have to cross that bridge yet. Phew. So co-sleeping in our bed for the first year, with naps in a crib beginning at rolling time, would be my ideal.

READING: What are you all reading? I got a whole ton of hand-me-down baby books yesterday. I had been reading Hypnobirthing (but not practicing : ) and Touchpoints, but today I have switched gears to Baby Signs, which is light and cheery. DH was very speech-delayed, so helping baby communicate with minimal frustration is a concern of mine.

IMAGINARY BABY: Do any of you have an image in your head of what baby will look like? I do. Mine changes from day to day, but my most resonant image is of a brown-eyed, brown-haired, curly-headed boy. That would be my coloring with DH's curls.

[MamaRabbit]

1st Baby: She was in her own room in her own crib the day we got home.

2nd Baby: Born at home, co-slept with us full-time until 5mo. At 5mo, we started putting him down in the playpen outside our open bedroom door but he would end up in bed with me in the middle of the night. At about 1yr, he was not co-sleeping anymore. My DH could get no sleep. I would get up and nurse DS and then go back to bed... so I got no sleep either.

This time: Definitely co-sleeping as long as possible... it's was be hell to not co-sleep with twins I'm thinking. At least for a while. DH might just have to sleep in the living room some nights.

[mamamoo]

Sleeping~We are hardcore co-sleepers. LOL I just can not imagine my baby being anywhere but in my arms, or right next to me at night. We are plus sized folk here, and my dh is a HEAVY sleeper, but I feel totally safe with baby next to him at night, everyone gets on a sleep/wake cycle that is in the bed, and he does actually wake up and is aware of the baby. Our 4 yr old and 2 yr old still sleep with us too, so we are thinking of getting a twin mattress to go next to the King, but not sure yet.

That all being said we are having a really rough week, and I'm not sure if hubby is going to be living here when the baby is born. We decided to have him move out(next week or so) while we get some counseling. Things are just not working out, and I am tired of the stress, and anger all the time. It's not good for any of us. Things are good though, very friendly, and we are actually getting along so much better now that the decision is made.

I am 20 weeks, and not feeling much movement now...not sure whta is up, or if I've just been too busy to notice it. Still need to get a mw...soon, soon.

[mom22girls]

I co-slept with dd1 as needed, same with dd2, but she needed it more. I think the thing is that there are no absolutes, be flexible. Even if it doesn't make sense now, it may when you bring the baby home. Believe it or not, when I first read Babywise, it sort of made sense to me. Then I had a baby and my whole life changed!!! Although I've never read the book, "let the baby drive," I have heard it's good, and I love the title and think it makes a good mantra!

[pookel]

I am not sure if/how much we will cosleep. We'll have a crib set up in the new baby's room and will use it as much as the baby seems to be OK with. I don't object to cosleeping if I get a snuggly baby this time, but if I have another non-cuddler, I'll probably encourage the crib.

On the subject of books, I just read "So That's What They're For!" and found myself thinking many times, "if I'd read this last time, I bet I wouldn't have had so much trouble breastfeeding."

[quetinha]

My son slept with me until he was about 3. I loved having him in the bed as a baby, well even as he grew. But when it was time to start sleeping in his own room it was very difficult. He spent about a year sleeping on the floor next to my bed before actually going to his own room. I was single from the time he was 3 weeks until he turned 5. I think that made it easier for us to sleep together. With this baby I intend to use a crib.... but I don't know how it will really work out. I can't think of anything better than snuggling with that little baby. The reason I don't want to is that my son (will be 7 then) is already feeling threatened and I wouldn't want him to feel left out), now there is another full size body in the bed, and finally, I'm - again - afraid of the transition back.

I'm very sad about my body. I see the pics on the belly thread and feel jealous. I'm 20 weeks and still don't look pregnant. If I lay down you can see my bump but to anyone else I just look like I've put on weight. Oh well... I know it's just a matter of time.

[alisonsage]

we already cosleep with dd1 so i think we will either keep her in the middle or move her to the other side of dh. the plan is for dc2 to sleep in a sidecar but we will see how long that lasts!!! side cars make great bed rails though!!

my big issue at this point is nightweaning dd1 before i enter the 3rd trimester and my milk production goes up again. i am so sad.:

[supermuma]

Originally Posted by PiePie

READING: What are you all reading? I got a whole ton of hand-me-down baby books yesterday. I had been reading Hypnobirthing (but not practicing : ) and Touchpoints, but today I have switched gears to Baby Signs, which is light and cheery. DH was very speech-delayed, so helping baby communicate with minimal frustration is a concern of mine.

IMAGINARY BABY: Do any of you have an image in your head of what baby will look like? I do. Mine changes from day to day, but my most resonant image is of a brown-eyed, brown-haired, curly-headed boy. That would be my coloring with DH's curls.

In terms of books related to pregnancy and birth, I have been reading Emergency Childbirth...very interesting. I am also waiting for my copy of The Thinking Woman's Guide To A Better Birth.

As for the image of the baby...I really don't have an image at all...it is strange. At first I had this image of a dark haired babe..but now, I am not so sure. DH had bright red hair at birth and I had blonde..we shall see!

--For some reason I have only been feeling kicks in the lower abdomen...and only in one spot at a time..versus on opposite sides like I was before (hands and feet I assume!)...so I am really having a hard time figuring out how this babe is lying at any given time. Very disorienting!

[mkoontz]

Originally Posted by mamamoo

Sleeping~We are hardcore co-sleepers. LOL I just can not imagine my baby being anywhere but in my arms, or right next to me at night. We are plus sized folk here, and my dh is a HEAVY sleeper, but I feel totally safe with baby next to him at night, everyone gets on a sleep/wake cycle that is in the bed, and he does actually wake up and is aware of the baby. Our 4 yr old and 2 yr old still sleep with us too, so we are thinking of getting a twin mattress to go next to the King, but not sure yet.

That all being said we are having a really rough week, and I'm not sure if hubby is going to be living here when the baby is born. We decided to have him move out(next week or so) while we get some counseling. Things are just not working out, and I am tired of the stress, and anger all the time. It's not good for any of us. Things are good though, very friendly, and we are actually getting along so much better now that the decision is made.

I am 20 weeks, and not feeling much movement now...not sure whta is up, or if I've just been too busy to notice it. Still need to get a mw...soon, soon.

Mamamoo, I'm sorry to hear this, though pleased that things are better in your life at the moment. I hope that things can work out in the best way for you all.

As for sleeping, we have a waterbed and are moving country in a year or so, so we don't have the $$ for another bed. Baby will be in a bassinette right beside the bed until it grows out of it, then I sidecar'd the crib with by first. We only have one crib, and my first is only 15 months at the moment, will be about 20 when the baby is born so not sure what we'll do then