I just received a letter, basically goodbye, from my favoritest aunt. She is 83, dx'd with breast cancer a year ago, now metastisized-to-the-everywhere. She is going into hospice, and lives 7,000 miles away. I visited her last August, and we truly enjoyed our chance to say good bye. But I needed to tell her a couple more things, and wanted to share this letter. The perspective has been helpful to me.
Dear Aunt Marion,
Since the terrorist attacks on New York of 9-11-01, I have heard interviews on the radio with New York residents who talked about the missing Twin Towers buildings. They spoke of the daily impact of seeing the gap in the skyline. Not that they had any need of the Twin Towers buildings, or any regular business there - indeed some had never been up close. But the Towers had always been there in the background, a part of the identity of a city.
I am thinking today of an analogy for my life. The distant, tall figures form the back drop for daily life. This is where the deepest, most lasting features of my identity had their birth, and find support and explanation. Our family is small, and there have only been a few tall buildings, so I treasure each one individually. My personal skyline changed when Dad died. He was such a central figure of the skyline. My dear friend, Carole, was dying of pancreatic cancer when I saw you last summer. She died just after the new year, and the gap she leaves was not as tall, but was closer and in a way more distinct. Mom has moved into the foreground of my life in the last few years, and I am getting to know her in a whole new (and welcome) aspect.
You have always been a skyscraper in my personal skyline. I have seen you as role model and mentor, and often my staunchest defender. You were occasionally my non-judgemental supporter, when everyone else was looking at me funny. You have been an example of how to create a fullfilling life outside traditional roles. Although years went by that we were not in close contact, you have always been in the background of my life. In more recent years we redefined our relationship as two adults, and I came to know you and admire you on a new level.
Cities evolve and change over time, and so do our personal skylines. No doubt, new relationships will grow, but certain gaps will never be filled.
The rest of the letter was family news (talking about growth of new features of the skyline, but I'll spare y'all the details). This perspective is helping my accept all the changes to my personal skyline.
Dear Aunt Marion,
Since the terrorist attacks on New York of 9-11-01, I have heard interviews on the radio with New York residents who talked about the missing Twin Towers buildings. They spoke of the daily impact of seeing the gap in the skyline. Not that they had any need of the Twin Towers buildings, or any regular business there - indeed some had never been up close. But the Towers had always been there in the background, a part of the identity of a city.
I am thinking today of an analogy for my life. The distant, tall figures form the back drop for daily life. This is where the deepest, most lasting features of my identity had their birth, and find support and explanation. Our family is small, and there have only been a few tall buildings, so I treasure each one individually. My personal skyline changed when Dad died. He was such a central figure of the skyline. My dear friend, Carole, was dying of pancreatic cancer when I saw you last summer. She died just after the new year, and the gap she leaves was not as tall, but was closer and in a way more distinct. Mom has moved into the foreground of my life in the last few years, and I am getting to know her in a whole new (and welcome) aspect.
You have always been a skyscraper in my personal skyline. I have seen you as role model and mentor, and often my staunchest defender. You were occasionally my non-judgemental supporter, when everyone else was looking at me funny. You have been an example of how to create a fullfilling life outside traditional roles. Although years went by that we were not in close contact, you have always been in the background of my life. In more recent years we redefined our relationship as two adults, and I came to know you and admire you on a new level.
Cities evolve and change over time, and so do our personal skylines. No doubt, new relationships will grow, but certain gaps will never be filled.
The rest of the letter was family news (talking about growth of new features of the skyline, but I'll spare y'all the details). This perspective is helping my accept all the changes to my personal skyline.
