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Twin pregnancy funnies!

post #1 of 39
Thread Starter 
Let's share some funny/embarrassing stories about our pregnancies with twins!

1. I had to eat a lot of protein, but I could not STAND the thought of cooking meat (and I was single) so I went out to eat a lot with my parents. Ha. Eventually I couldn't sit in a booth because the table would push into my tummy.

2. Yes, I rode a motorized scooter at Target. It was embarrassing, but it was the only way I could shop. :

3. Okay here's a post-partum one. Just after birthing my boys, I asked my mom to bring me some Vit E for my nipples, and also some stool softener for... well, you know! In my exhausted brain, guess which one I put on my nipples? THE STOOL SOFTENER! My kids were in the NICU for a week and I had to find the charge nurse and explain the situation, and she called one of the attendings and was like, "Yes, hello, I have a 2 days post partum mother who has been rubbing stool softener on her nipples and then breastfeeding... what is the protocol for that?" I wanted to DIE from embarrassment!

:
post #2 of 39
LOL that is just too funny! I ride the cart too when I'm really tired...course now Elliott rides with me and he things it's SOOOO fun LOL!
post #3 of 39
Quote:
Originally Posted by YumaDoula View Post
"Yes, hello, I have a 2 days post partum mother who has been rubbing stool softener on her nipples and then breastfeeding... what is the protocol for that?" I wanted to DIE from embarrassment!

:
That is so, so funny.

I puked at Whole Foods a day or two before my girls were born. I felt pukey and walked in and smelled Indian food, which I hate, and yakked in a garbage can.
post #4 of 39
Quote:
Originally Posted by YumaDoula View Post
"Yes, hello, I have a 2 days post partum mother who has been rubbing stool softener on her nipples and then breastfeeding... what is the protocol for that?"
OMG, that is the funniest thing I've heard!! I just laughed so hard that I'm still having trouble catching my breath.

No huge funnies here, yet, except for the fact that I seem to be shutting my belly in the door every time I use a public bathroom stall...

OHHHH, the other day I went to take a picture of the first AIO cloth diaper I've ever made (yay for diaperkits.com). I put the diaper on my bed, stood next to the bed and aimed my camera straight down toward the diaper. It took me a good 10-15 seconds to figure out that the striped blob on the bottom of the viewfinder obscuring the diaper was my shirt-- stretched tight over my big ol' belly. Oops!
post #5 of 39
I was at a buffet with my husband and two boys while pregnant with the twins. I was filling two plates--one for me, one for one of my sons. A man, trying to be funny, said, "I know you're eating for two, but isn't that a bit much?" I replied, "I'm eating for three!"
post #6 of 39
In my quest to turn my breech twin, I was burning the moxa stick outside in the backyard daily. My neighbors could smell it and all thought I was smoking pot!

On the operating table at the birth (the moxa didn't work), I played a trick on my dr and yelled out just as he started cutting me. Thankfully he has a terrific sense of humor!

(and yes, i was terribly upset when faced with the c-section, i just was trying to make the best of a sad situation)
post #7 of 39
I always thought that it was funny and annoying when people would ask 'are you due next week?' when I was 6 months along--and even more funny/annoying (depending on how crabby I was) when after 32 weeks people did not ask ANYTHING...they just STARED with their mouths hanging open.

I felt like I needed a wheelbarrow just to haul my belly around (and was skinnier everywhere else than I had been since I was a teen).
post #8 of 39
Quote:
Originally Posted by maxymum View Post
In my quest to turn my breech twin, I was burning the moxa stick outside in the backyard daily. My neighbors could smell it and all thought I was smoking pot!
That happened to a friend here, only she did it in her apartment. Got a note slipped under her door that said they'd call the police next time they smelled pot. (Scary considering the drug laws here... didn't care about affect on baby). Moxa didn't work either.

So far the funniest thing is my 3.5 year old telling everyone that mommy has "two twins" but she makes it sound like there are 4 babies in there.

ChristyC, I hear you on those bathroom stall doors. And they don't have handicapped ones here.
post #9 of 39
Quote:
Originally Posted by MamaRabbit View Post
So far the funniest thing is my 3.5 year old telling everyone that mommy has "two twins" but she makes it sound like there are 4 babies in there.
My 5yo liked to call mine "double-etlets"
post #10 of 39
We found out we were having twins at our first ultrasound. I brought the pics to work with me afterwards during lunch when some people were gathered around. I said "here's some pictures of the baby" and just as everyone started oooohhhhing I said "and here's pictures of the other baby". They literally screamed.

When I was about a week from giving birth I was headed into the chiropractor and some crunchy mamas were walking by with their babe (I think they were a same-sex couple) and one said "Whoa! Look at you!" so I of course explained that I was carrying two and one mama came right up and started feeling my belly. She said "oh, yeah, here's a head and here's another head!" She was actually feeling their butts, which I kept to myself
post #11 of 39
Can I join in even though I'm pregnant with triplets, not twins? My favorite story so far involves my 3.5 year old son, who has known about the triplets coming almost as long as I have.

I took him to a new church and left him in the child care with the other kids and two caregivers. I ran into one of the caregivers on my way to pick DS up after the service. I asked how DS had done and she gave a generic complimentary reply before continuing, "Do you have 2 cats?" I said "yes," wondering what she was getting at. She followed up with "We wondered, because he said he had 2 cats when one of the boys said he had a cat at home. Earlier, one of the other boys had said that his mommy had a baby in her belly, and he said his mommy had three babies in her belly." I simply said, "That's true, too." Her jaw dropped. The possibility that my son might have been telling the truth had never even crossed her mind, or that of the other caregiver.

Luckily, they had ignored my son's comment rather than suggesting he was lying, so it just became a funny story, not an issue.
post #12 of 39
Quote:
Originally Posted by hergrace View Post
"Do you have 2 cats?" I said "yes," wondering what she was getting at. She followed up with "We wondered, because he said he had 2 cats when one of the boys said he had a cat at home. Earlier, one of the other boys had said that his mommy had a baby in her belly, and he said his mommy had three babies in her belly." I simply said, "That's true, too." Her jaw dropped. The possibility that my son might have been telling the truth had never even crossed her mind, or that of the other caregiver.
: That's THE BEST!! Thanks for sharing.
post #13 of 39
2 days ago, we were in the store and I was riding my motorized scooter. Not too far into the store, the battery started to die. I didn't think it would make it all the way to the front without crapping out on me. My kids usually try to get behind me and push the scooter, and I always fuss at them to leave it alone. But with a dying battery, I told them to jump behind and push! My three children pushed that dying motorized scooter, with my big ol' preggo butt still sitting in it, to the front of the store, all the time with me hoping nobody I knew would see me!!
post #14 of 39
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by christyc View Post
2 days ago, we were in the store and I was riding my motorized scooter. Not too far into the store, the battery started to die. I didn't think it would make it all the way to the front without crapping out on me. My kids usually try to get behind me and push the scooter, and I always fuss at them to leave it alone. But with a dying battery, I told them to jump behind and push! My three children pushed that dying motorized scooter, with my big ol' preggo butt still sitting in it, to the front of the store, all the time with me hoping nobody I knew would see me!!
BWAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA that must have been quite a sight!
post #15 of 39
Oooh, I have my first little chuckle to add from this pg...

I was interviewing an OB last week and a woman in the waiting room overheard me tell the receptionist I was having twins. She laughed and said, "you have TWO babies in that little belly?!?" I told her I was eleven weeks along. Her jaw dropped and she became oddly silent.

I am loving reading these - keep 'em coming!!
post #16 of 39
I was going in for NST's at the end, and the tech had a hard time finding the top baby. I said, "Well he flipped over last night, so you need to look higher up." She told me that twins can't change position after 30 weeks (I was 36). Finally she brought in an ultrasound to look. . . Sure enough, my head down babe was now breach and much higher.

She didn't say a work the next week when I told her he was head down again!!

I am going to be laughing about you ladies ALL DAY!!
post #17 of 39
I would burn my tummy every time I tried to cook.

I got so big that my stomach wouldn't stay in anything so for about 2 months (I only went to 34 weeks) I walked around with my big ol' belly hangin' out.

I had to stand over the toilet to shut the bathroom doors in public.

I had to lift up my belly and rock back and forth so I could pee. Once the pee started flowing I had to freeze (while still holding my belly up) until I was done or I had to do it all over again to get the flow started. Don't even get me started about bowel movements.

That is all I remember so far.
post #18 of 39
These stories are HILARIOUS! I so desperately wanted to ride those motorized scooters but I was too embarrassed. My dh would see me limping around the store in pain and would beg me to use it but I just couldn't. They looked like heaven though!

I also went to Taco Bell (yes, bad) with my friend and I could not fit behind the booth! I had to sit in the handicapped section that had chairs instead of booths. I have seen those booths since giving birth and I cannot believe I was that huge.

I had pubic symphisis pain so badly that it took me several minutes to get out of bed. I had to roll out of bed onto my birthing ball, bounce a few seconds and then stand up.

I got so big that I could barely fit behind the steering wheel of my car. I had to keep the seat scooted forward so my legs could reach, but I had to recline the seat so my belly would fit. My friend said I looked like a gansta driving around with my seat reclined so far I could barely reach the steering wheel.
post #19 of 39
i've had to stop doing laundry. I'm afraid of going down to the basement, because I can't see the stairs! I have to go down the stairs like a toddler... crawling backwards LOL
post #20 of 39
Quote:
Originally Posted by gemelos View Post
I got so big that I could barely fit behind the steering wheel of my car. I had to keep the seat scooted forward so my legs could reach, but I had to recline the seat so my belly would fit. My friend said I looked like a gansta driving around with my seat reclined so far I could barely reach the steering wheel.
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