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my brother died - Page 2

post #21 of 28
Amy, it's so normal to feel guilty when you've lost someone. It's all a part of the greiving process.

I know deep in your heart that you know there is nothing you could have done to save him. I grew up with two drug/alcoholic parents and I know it's their problum not mine.

When the shock begins to wear off we begin questioning everything. Why did he turn to drugs, why weren't you there, why didn't his friends help him. These are questions that will most likely never be answered.

As time passes, you'll find a place for these questions and also find some peace. You know that you did nothing wrong. The dynamics of every family is different.

How are you handling this with the kids? It's so hard to greive and tell your kids why your so sad. How are you remembering him in your lives?

Please reach out as much as you need to help you work thorugh this.

You'll be in my thoughts.
post #22 of 28

Sorry. My brother died too, not an overdose but he was really drunk at the time. He had just signed up to go to a court-ordered treatment program. The 2-year anniversary is actually tomorrow.

I sometimes feel guilty, but mostly angry. Looking at it now I don't think there was anything I could have done. He should not have been where he was in the first place.

I was really mad at his friends too because two of them were in the boat with him and they lived. It could have just as easily been one of them. I sometimes think they shouldn't have let him in the boat as drunk as he was, or they should have made sure he had a life jacket, or made a better effort to save him, or that he never should have been involved with them in the first place. I kept telling him he could come live with me and not have to stay with his friends but that's where he was happy. He knew I wouldn't let him drink at my place.

But no matter what his friends were like, he was still not supposed to be there at the time.

I write letters to him sometimes. I know it's not the same, but some people say it can be healing, especially if there was stuff left unsaid.
post #23 of 28
I'm sorry for your loss.
post #24 of 28
I am so sorry to hear about your loss
post #25 of 28
My sister just died a little over 4 months ago in a car accident. The driver had a blood alch. of .20 and was driving in excess of 80 MPH on a residential street. He lost control and hit a tree in the median.

I have been totally devestated by this. It has taken me until just the last few weeks to start to function.

I am sorry for your loss. It totally sucks. I get so mad at my sister at times. This was totally preventable. While she was not driving, she knew what the guy was like and how he drove. She didn;t have to get in that car that night.

Sorry for unloading on you thread.
post #26 of 28
I'm so sorry for your loss and you and your family are in my prayers!!! Just like others here have mentioned, feeling guilty is a part of the grieving process. ..... God Bless you and your family.

post #27 of 28

Much strength to you in this sad time.

Peace, love and happiness,

post #28 of 28

I'm so sorry

I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my mom a few months back and I can empathize with the grief that fills your heart. Much love to your and your family during this difficult time.
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