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Helping with friends

post #1 of 3
Thread Starter 
My 10 yo daughter has a terrible time with kids her age. They just don't seem to get her and she doesn't seem to know how to compromise. She has always been very independent and strong willed and I have chosen to see these attributes as positives. In fact, she is a wonderful child to be around and many adults have told me so. I guess I don't know exactly my question. Maybe,
Is there anything I can do to make it easier for her or should I just let her struggle through. Are there any organizations that have helped any of your kids? She is in girl scouts but even her troop formed a click that didn't include her.
post #2 of 3
Being independent and strong-willed are most definitely positive attributes, just not in the teen years, in my experience. I had a miserable time with my peer group in my tween and teen years and even now I still prefer older friends. (I'm 18 and a college freshman, so my teen years aren't quite over yet, I suppose.) I comforted myself with the idea that my independence and intelligence would be valued for the rest of my life, so it was worth the 6 years where they weren't valued.

She's going to struggle, there's no way around that. However, I think it's very important to validate that struggle by acknowledging it as something greater than, "oh, that age is hard for everyone." That age is hard for everyone, but it's harder when you're not willing to subvert yourself to fit in. Perhaps find a volunteer opportunity for her in which she'd be working with lots of adults--maybe volunteering in a retirement home or working at a soup kitchen. For me, getting validation from adults that I was making a positive contribution helped ameliorate the fact that I was essentially ostracized from my peer group.

PM me if you want to bounce ideas off of me.

Good luck!
post #3 of 3
Thread Starter 
Thank you, great suggestions. She practically grew up in a nursing home for a couple of years so she might enjoy that.
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