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Am I Going Nuts

post #1 of 7
6/4/03 at 1:17am
Thread Starter 
Wiggly baby on my lap - bare with me

I feel like I am losing my ever loving mind! I want to be pregnant. Heck I always want tobe pregnant. well even when i don't want to be it is the same thing but in a paranoid kinda way instead of a hopeful kind of way. Anyway! Am i nuts to always suspect I am pregnant. Every little twinge, flick and wave of dizziness or nausea makes me think "OH! I must be pregnant". I swear i keep the people at EPT in bussiness. I hate to even test because i know I amjust going to be wasting my money i feel ilke a complete fruit loop. I feel like I need to get a life. Is anyone else this way? Alway thinking that every little thing might be a sign of pregnancy. I am there right now and I probably will test this week just because I gotta know. I haven't gotton my period back yet so it isn't like I have that to rely on. I feel like I am such a dope for believeing that it might even be. I feel like I have talked myself into all these "symptoms" . Aggghh! this is all so maddening. i was not cut out emoptionally to deal with all the ups and downs of procreating. From preconception through birth I am just a basket case.

thanks for listening.
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post #2 of 7
6/4/03 at 8:19am
I'm here with ya.

I just posted in the June 2ww (BFN this morning) that I'm really feeling out of sorts with my body. I'm trying so hard to be "in tune" with my body/mind/spirit but I feel like my body keeps tricking me.

I'm embarassed to verbalize all the pregnancy feelings I have (thank God for MDC), because each time AF shows up I doubt myself even more and wonder if I'm truly going . But all the symptoms/feelings/sensations feel SO real when I am experiencing them.

I'm trying to visualize my baby and take comfort that these physical symptoms I think I feel, might not be "real" on a tangible level but that energetically I am definitely connecting with my baby and each month we are getting a little closer.

Big to you. You are definitely not alone!

~Erin
post #3 of 7
6/4/03 at 10:38am
I totally know what you mean. I haven't had PPAF yet. My son is 18 months old. He is a nursing champion.

I always joke with my friends that when the wind blows me just right I have to go test. Afterall, it's not like we're going to miss a period.

I tested like mad for a long time. Then, I bought 100 pregnancy tests for a $30 off of a website mentioned hmmm....somewhere on TTC boards. I think they were a couple months back in the nursnig mamas one.

After going insane testing for a while. I've just decided not to test anymore. I would love to think, "Oh, am I pregnant?" and be 2 months along when I test. That's my goal folks.

Best wishes! How old is your baby? I had BAD baby wants my son was 6 months-9 months old. I'm pretty sure it was hormonal. When he started walking at 10 months, my baby wants suddenly dissapeared. Now that he's 18 mos, I'd really like to give him a brother or sister.
post #4 of 7
6/4/03 at 2:03pm
I think we all want it so bad that we magnify every little sensation that happens. I know that when I was pregnant with the baby I mc I never had any symptoms. I actually tested to "prove" I was not pregnant so I could have a few cocktails, guilt free on my dh 30th birthday. (my positive test was his b'day gift :LOL)

You are not nuts, just listening to your body more and maybe noticing things that you never did before. It's like when you buy a car, all of a sudden all the cars you see look like yours, same make, same year, even the same color! It's what you are focusing on.

Take care of yourself. We don't think you are crazy. Or maybe we all are!


http://www.FertilityFriend.com/home/1fbba
post #5 of 7
6/4/03 at 6:53pm
Thread Starter 
Sparklin - she turned 6 months today Part of it is that we kinda decided we were done having kids ( "If you ever do this to me again I will kill you" I don't do pregnancy very well. ) But now that we have the worlds most perfect easy baby (seriously) I just want to have another so bad and all I can hope for is an accident.

2 days to payday. then I will go get a freaking test and waste my $10.
post #6 of 7
6/6/03 at 4:56pm
I'm exactly the same way!!! I go through so many pg tests and then feel really stupid if my AF shows up the next day. I think not testing and being suprised that you're 2 months along is a great goal !!! I would love to do that but it's hard to do if you're charting at all.
post #7 of 7
6/6/03 at 11:12pm
I will hop on the I'm going nuts board! I can relate to everything you all are saying. It's like I'm a gluten for punishment. I took a test today...middle of the day mind you...and I'm only 10 DPO (and I have 31 day cycles). DUH..of course it was a BFN even if I am preg!

Everything I feel is a preg sign right now, but I am sad to say I think even my mind is running out of tricks at this point, but we'll see.