I don't want to have another boy... - Page 2

[+stella+]

I think the flames seem harsh with their wording and perhaps its coming across stronger than needed, however. I feel like some women can use this line of thinking, "it was everyone MAKING me do it" as defense mechanism justification for doing it again. The issue isnt that you are a horrible awful person deserving of a flames because you didnt have the strength to stand up to the people wanting you to allow the circ, youre not, but to make sure their bullying is not used as justification this time around as well. You (general you, not OP specifially) did make a mistake by not standing stronger, you regret it and know that now. You dont have to own up to it being totally your fault but you also cant hide behind acting like you are faultless, or history will very likely repeat its sad self.

I feel one has to truely own their mistakes to learn from them and do better, doesnt mean you have to be perfect from that point forward, but you cant profess to do better next time if you feel it is truely out of your control as a victim.

Hope that makes some sense and doesnt seem harsh and angry.

[Lula's Mom]

I have removed a number of posts from this thread, for violation of rule #1:

Do not post in a disrespectful, defamatory, adversarial, baiting, harassing, offensive, insultingly sarcastic or otherwise improper manner, toward a member or other individual, including casting of suspicion upon a person, invasion of privacy, humiliation, demeaning criticism, name-calling, personal attack, or in any way which violates the law.

PMs are forthcoming.

Please refrain from these types of posts. Realize that there is a difference between constructive criticism, and demeaning criticism. The OP has stated she will not circumcise future sons, and is looking for support. Thank you, carry on.

[RidentMama]

Originally Posted by BrittBBT

My current husvband and I are TTC our second child together. We have a 10 month old son...

Originally Posted by BrittBBT

He's only 22 and this is his first baby.

Makes me wonder if you're a military family? 'cause if he's used to seeing a lot of guys showering together, maybe that's why he's concerned about appearances? Just wondering.

Anywho, the best thing to do is load up on the information on this board and at sites like NOCIRC. Knowledge tends to be a good smoosher of ignorance. Once he knows what goes on in the circ procedure, and all the benefits that are lost with the removal of the foreskin, it'll probably change his mind. Knowledge is power (wasn't that some 80s campaign?). Yay to you for deciding to keep any future DS's penis intact!!!

[Arduinna]

Originally Posted by BrittBBT

My current husvband and I are TTC our second child together. We have a 10 month old son, and I was bullied into circ'ing. I still get angry at him over it! When it was first done and I'd change the baby's diaper, I'd make him look and say " look what you made me do!" He wasn't really phased at all, and that made it worse. I have a 3 yr old son from another marriage and his father and grandmother pushed the issue so much that I gave in with him, also, and had him circ'ed. Anyway... I don't want to have another son. I know that if I conceive another boy that it will be a huge battle again. I can, of course, flat out refuse to circ this time, if need be, but then I know DH will make me feel guilty because he wouldn't look like Daddy or Big brother "down there."

Originally Posted by BrittBBT

Ok, first of all, my DH isn't "evil", he's just stubborn, and honestly I don't think he knows the seriousness of circ'ing. He's only 22 and this is his first baby. No matter what, I'm NOT going to circ again. I've made up my mind, and this time I'm sticking to it. He's not going to make me circ... it's not like he beats me up or anything lol. I'll change his mind one of these days. You know what kind of gets to me? I had midwives with both my boys and they knew I was planning on circ'ing but that I didn't TRULY want to, and neither of them tried to make my MIL or my DH think it over more clearly... know what I mean? I wish I had one of them, or both, to back me up! At the time I really didn't know that I had a choice, like, that it was MY decision and not OUR decision.

You posted he bullied you into it. Although I'll be honest, you didn't stand up for your first son either. And in both cases you posted you didn't want to do it. Yet you allowed it to happen. This isn't a case of you not knowing. While it would be great if health care practitioners would stand up against circ it's up to parents to protect their children.

I agree with PP's please stop TTC until you are with a partner that respects your feelings and your childs right to his whole body.

[Arduinna]

Originally Posted by +stella+

but you cant profess to do better next time if you feel it is truely out of your control as a victim.

very very true!

[Mamm2]

You said your hubbys is 22? Then I am guessing you are a young mommy? I congratulate you for realizing that circumcision is wrong!!

Please continue to research! This is for your own knowledge base...the more you learn the more against it you will become.

Secondly, you do not need to convince your hubby not to circ, HE NEEDS TO CONVINCE YOU! He needs to show you with studies, arguments, etc., why it would be better to cut his little penis.

YOU BECOME THE BRICK WALL. He will not be able to convince you because there are no good reasons. I would not sweat it...I did not. Once I decided it was not going to happen...guess what? It did not happened, he was not able to convince me.

I would not worry about feeling guilty...you will not feel guilty. You will feel proud that you stood up to your husband you know was wrong. You protected your baby. You will feel empowered and proud.

[MoonJelly]

Originally Posted by Mamm2

YOU BECOME THE BRICK WALL. He will not be able to convince you because there are no good reasons. I would not sweat it...I did not. Once I decided it was not going to happen...guess what? It did not happened, he was not able to convince me.

Good plan! I like that approach.

[trmpetplaya]

There is no reason for you to feel guilty about protecting your son And the only reason I agreed with pps that you should put TTC on hold until this issue is settled is because it's much easier to discuss this issue without pregnancy hormones getting in the way (at least they tend to get in the way for ME personally ).

This board can be harsh sometimes because we're so passionate about this issue. My LLL leader says at every meeting that getting breastfeeding/parenting advice from the other mamas (and herself) at the meeting is kind of like a buffet. You check out all the dishes (listen to all the info) and take what looks good to you to eat (or use in your life).

Please look at this board like that. If someone is throwing out a suggestion - like mine that you wait to TTC until this issue is settled - that you know wouldn't work or doesn't apply in your situation, remember that the person giving the advice is probably just throwing it out there because it worked/applied in their life or in someone else's life who they happen to know. We can't possibly know your exact situation and it's hard to convey tone and intent over the internet. I'm sorry that you got harsh responses (I didn't read any more of this thread after my pp until after the thread was edited...) and I'm sure that many were unwarrented in your situation though there was no way for those who posted to know that. 's and best wishes with your dh! Dh and I were both 22 when dd was born

love and peace.