I hate how I talk to DS....need to learn better way

[Still_Learning]

So I can't stand some of the things that pop out of my mouthm but I don't know how else to say them.

DS is 2.5 years.

First of all, there's the whole "That's not nice" thing. Ugh. I don't want him thinking he's not nice because i repeatedly tell him the things he does are not nice. How can I better comminucate this? (would "bad manners" be any better? I'm not sure he would even understand that phrase)

I am also guilty of good jobbing him to death.

Is there a book or something that can help me with how I talk to him?

[maxsmum]

I like "How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk" by Faber and Mazlish

You can tell him what behavior is inappropriate for instance if he hits, instead of saying "That's not nice" just say no hitting. then it is the behavior you are addressing not his personality. When appropriate teach an appropriate behavior to replace it (teach other ways to express anger other than hitting)

same thing with positives: "what a wonderful tree you drew", "thank you for helping with the laundry" instead of good job (not that I think good job is so bad - just offering alternatives)

[HollyBearsMom]

I second that book! It gave me some great verabl "tools".

[Still_Learning]

Thank you...just ordered it

[nd_deadhead]

Rather than worry about WHY we don't do things, maybe you should emphasize what we DO do, and leave it at that. If he's doing something that's not nice, tell him what he should be doing instead. If he's throwing things, tell him "This is how we play with those toys". If he's hitting (and reasonably verbal) say "We don't hit. If you are mad, please use your words".

I think it's a lot easier to teach a young child what TO do than what NOT to do.