Please help...I live in the belly of a beast!(rant) - Page 3

[Zamber]

Originally Posted by momma of monkeys

Actually we have, I said something to him when I took lunch at work...and he waved his arm at me (in a dismissing way) and walked off...

It sounds like he is not taking your concerns seriously - that's not cool.

If I were in your shoes, I wouldn't even think about getting a bigger house until this is resolved. Getting a bigger place as of right now would only be putting a small bandaid on a big wound. Bigger places equal more room to aquire more stuff. Then, you would be back to square one.

To make up for the small yard for now, the dog can be exercised daily (which is more important than having a big yard. Rotties are a working breed that need something to do every day ), and the kids can be taken to a park, playgroup, etc.

Now, if your goal is to eventually get a bigger place and to TTC #3, then sit down with your SO and make a plan of action. Set a timeline when certain areas need to be cleaned out, and that it needs to stay clean for X amount of time before you start looking for a new home. "If we want this, we need to do this in order for it to happen." Point out that the more stuff you have to move, the more it is going to cost you. Then, if he wants to do it bad enough, maybe he will make an effort to change his habits. But, ultimately, he is going to have to want to change - you can't make him do something he is not willing to do.

[Thalia]

: Well, that about wraps it up...though I must say, at least it's not garbage that is OBVIOUS garbage....

Then you need to get some help, for yourself and for him, before you do anything else. Search for 'hoarding' in this forum and you will come up with some good threads with good suggestions for loved ones of people who have this problem. This will not go away and it will probably get worse if you and he don't deal with it now. I'm sorry you're having to deal with this.

[momma of monkeys]

Originally Posted by Thalia

Then you need to get some help, for yourself and for him, before you do anything else. Search for 'hoarding' in this forum and you will come up with some good threads with good suggestions for loved ones of people who have this problem. This will not go away and it will probably get worse if you and he don't deal with it now. I'm sorry you're having to deal with this.

Will do...I already joined SS...and I *know* that our house needs some serious help....I am going to freecycle some things that I could sell, just to make them gone faster. Thanks.

[tessamami]

I think that I'd let the sock thing go

Nothing says I love you like clean socks and underwear. And it probably wouldn't hurt to hang a net laundrybag in some corner of the bedroom for laundry, you can probably fit one in the tightest of spaces.

I'd suggest joing FlyLady: www.flylady.net I think that her ideas will really help you.

I think if you go the extra mile in some areas, he will eventually want to help you with stuff, but I think you have got to work on yourself, first. Also - are your and your son's areas in good shape? The contrast would be shocking. . . .don't you think, if DH say his stuff all over the place, and the rest of the family tidy and neat? I can't help but think that his clutter has infected your whole house. . . .

[momma of monkeys]

Originally Posted by tessamami

Nothing says I love you like clean socks and underwear. And it probably wouldn't hurt to hang a net laundrybag in some corner of the bedroom for laundry, you can probably fit one in the tightest of spaces.

I'd suggest joing FlyLady: www.flylady.net I think that her ideas will really help you.

I think if you go the extra mile in some areas, he will eventually want to help you with stuff, but I think you have got to work on yourself, first. Also - are your and your son's areas in good shape? The contrast would be shocking. . . .don't you think, if DH say his stuff all over the place, and the rest of the family tidy and neat? I can't help but think that his clutter has infected your whole house. . . .

I've already washed his socks (and pretty much everything else):

I guess *my* area is the kitchen and it's prolly the most kempt room in the house. He does have things in there....but not for long.

I will check out flylady though I already do the 15 minutes at a time thing if I am feeling slow some days...I have read others flylady posts here before:

And, oh my yes, SO's stuff has taken over the house!

I have talked with my neighbor who has a storage that is too large for her now, she is going to 'rent' me part of it. She is also going to help me get some free boxes from craig's list and move the stuff (she has a truck )
So I do believe I am on my way.....WHHHHHOOOOOOO-HOOOOOO