I've been reading through the archives of posts and generally lurking, and I just had to share the very unusual (it seems) situation for our children.
Our three boys are very young, but obviously advanced. The most common difficulty we've experienced is that because our children are giants- huge, really huge- most people expect them to behave socially (and sometimes academically, but they usually meet that challenge) several years ahead of their development, and then condescend to them because they don't.
An example: When our eldest son was 16 mos., we went to an early years centre and some poor child was being drilled on his numbers and told, 'Come on, you're three; you should know this!' whenever he made a mistake (although I could see the little grin on his face when he said the wrong number- I think he was doing it to get a rise out of his grandmother...
).
Anyway, our son walked up and stood beside the boy and watched them count ants and grasshoppers on flash cards. The woman looked at my son and asked, "And how many do you see?" My son, who would never speak to someone he didn't know, ever, just looked at her and then at me, and then at the boy. The grandmother picked up a toy and a ball that is hammered into a hole and said, 'Here. You can hammer the ball in!' My son looked at me sort of perplexed, took the toy and proceeded to put it back in its place. He never played with baby toys. He had no interest in them, but preferred real things that he saw me using and lots and lots of books, all the time.
AAaaaaaah!!! This happens a lot because, for instance, right now, our three yr old is the same size as most six yr. olds. Our 2 1/2 is the size of a four yr. old, and our fifteen mo. old who has been speaking in full sentences at home since he was 11 mos. old ('I wanna look ad dat book!', 'Time a go-go up da deard!' -stairs ), and looks the height of a 2 1/2 yr. old, but still has baby features, is the only one anyone can see as being gifted, or just as competent as he is, at least some of the time.
Socially, I have watched on as parents who are happy at how well their children are playing with my 3 yr. old son, immediately remove their children when they ask me how old he and discover he's so much younger than their's. This behaviour really baffles me; is my son's age going to contaminate your children? It's so bizarre! And of course, my son is hurt by this rejection, and sadly, because he observes a child for a long time before approaching, he generally gets on very well with the ones he's chosen, but it's their parents who do the rejecting. Sad. And frustrating. My children also don't know the 'rules' of socialising that public school children seem to have in common- which is fine with me- so their parents seem to react as though they're strange, which is when they ask me their ages and then the situation unfolds as above.
So, I guess it's a mixed blessing for now. Our children are assumed behind instead of ahead, which our eldest now finds really upsetting, but the others don't seem to mind, which lifts expectations from burdening them, I suppose, but does cause me a lot of grief sometimes. In the future, our children's size won't be relied upon as much by others for age-indication, so I hope that that will alleviate some of the trouble we've found so far.
Hm. I guess that was a bit of a rant. Sorry. Any comments?
Our three boys are very young, but obviously advanced. The most common difficulty we've experienced is that because our children are giants- huge, really huge- most people expect them to behave socially (and sometimes academically, but they usually meet that challenge) several years ahead of their development, and then condescend to them because they don't.
An example: When our eldest son was 16 mos., we went to an early years centre and some poor child was being drilled on his numbers and told, 'Come on, you're three; you should know this!' whenever he made a mistake (although I could see the little grin on his face when he said the wrong number- I think he was doing it to get a rise out of his grandmother...
).Anyway, our son walked up and stood beside the boy and watched them count ants and grasshoppers on flash cards. The woman looked at my son and asked, "And how many do you see?" My son, who would never speak to someone he didn't know, ever, just looked at her and then at me, and then at the boy. The grandmother picked up a toy and a ball that is hammered into a hole and said, 'Here. You can hammer the ball in!' My son looked at me sort of perplexed, took the toy and proceeded to put it back in its place. He never played with baby toys. He had no interest in them, but preferred real things that he saw me using and lots and lots of books, all the time.
AAaaaaaah!!! This happens a lot because, for instance, right now, our three yr old is the same size as most six yr. olds. Our 2 1/2 is the size of a four yr. old, and our fifteen mo. old who has been speaking in full sentences at home since he was 11 mos. old ('I wanna look ad dat book!', 'Time a go-go up da deard!' -stairs ), and looks the height of a 2 1/2 yr. old, but still has baby features, is the only one anyone can see as being gifted, or just as competent as he is, at least some of the time.
Socially, I have watched on as parents who are happy at how well their children are playing with my 3 yr. old son, immediately remove their children when they ask me how old he and discover he's so much younger than their's. This behaviour really baffles me; is my son's age going to contaminate your children? It's so bizarre! And of course, my son is hurt by this rejection, and sadly, because he observes a child for a long time before approaching, he generally gets on very well with the ones he's chosen, but it's their parents who do the rejecting. Sad. And frustrating. My children also don't know the 'rules' of socialising that public school children seem to have in common- which is fine with me- so their parents seem to react as though they're strange, which is when they ask me their ages and then the situation unfolds as above.
So, I guess it's a mixed blessing for now. Our children are assumed behind instead of ahead, which our eldest now finds really upsetting, but the others don't seem to mind, which lifts expectations from burdening them, I suppose, but does cause me a lot of grief sometimes. In the future, our children's size won't be relied upon as much by others for age-indication, so I hope that that will alleviate some of the trouble we've found so far.
Hm. I guess that was a bit of a rant. Sorry. Any comments?
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