Feel like I talk to the wall all day.....

[sunshine's mama]

Does anyone else feel like this???? This got a tad long, I am sorry...

My dd will be 3 in a few weeks and has decided the past month or so that my talking to the wall is better than talking to her...and it's driving me crazy bc I am here with her all day......We are a 1 car family so most days we are stuck here with just a small grassy area.....It's driving me crazy...I don't even like to hear my own voice just chatting with someone on the phone anymore.....LOL

She used to listen to me.....do the small things I asked of her (pick up your baby, please put your giraffe back up on the toybox, etc...) and now it's like I'm talking and banging my head against a large, 10' thick brick wall.....

I'm almost 18wks pregnant, have been pretty sick most of the pregnancy (HG), am getting almost no help from DP bc he's too tired or too busy or too whatever or bc I am not doing as much as I used to he's not doing anything so I feel like I am talking to a brick wall to him these days too....I'm just out of steam.......

I snapped at her a few times yesterday and once today bc I am sooo tired and immediatly felt awful so I swooped her up and hugged her tight and said I was sorry, that I shouldn't have yelled at her....She said, "that's ok mommy...I'll make you feel better" and proceeded to kiss me and give me the greatest hug and tugged on my hair a bit (she knows it makes me feel good...lol..headache wise).....

I still have a tad bit of patience left....a tad....but it's usually gone around 1pm. She's actually playing quietly right now bc I put in Cinderella since she's been asking all morning and she's eating her lunch....SO I hopped on here...

Does this happen when all children turn 3??? They become this wall you chat to and then go about their merry way????

Her step sister will be here this weekend (fri-wed am) and it's the same with her too....brick wall...unless her dad says something to her and then she's all chatty. She is 7.5 (almost) and I have known her since she was 2. I can ask her to pick up her shoes or coat and it's a brick wall I meet and then her dad will hear and ask her and she picks it up....Drives me crazy..but god forbid I suggest anythng to help the matter to him about it.....She's just very disrespectful towards me and even more so to her sister when she's here (but I'll save that for another day in the stepfamily area...) and pretty much gets away with it bc HE doesn't want to rock the boat when she is here.....but it rocks it even more bc I'm made to feel like a guest in my own house....

I'm just tired to the brick wall I am meeting when talking to dd and dsd...mainly with dd since she's here more (sd is here 10 days a month).....He gets home from work, eats and then goes and does his own thing until bed and then goes to bed..I get no break....rarely....

I do have family close by but mom is a chain smoker and thinks that smoking 2' away from you or her grandchild is ok and dd comes home smelling like a pack of cigs when I leave her there to get a break....I don't have any local friends....the few I had moved within the last 2 years (one to LA to finish grad school and the other to Denver bc her hubby got transfered...)....I'm just feeling really alone, chatting to the walls in my house bc nobody hears me...

Any suggestions???? Advice??? How to cope???

Thanks so much......I appreciate anything you put my way.....

[bobica]

ugh, 3 is unbearable in a lot of ways!!! we're coming out the other end (she's 4 today) and there is improvement, but i think most of my worst parenting moments occurred in the past year

maybe look in the gentle discipline forums for specific help on certain issues.

in the meantime, and some random thoughts that kindof helped. dd responds really well to sequencing of things. like, first you pick up xyz toys, then snack and then blah blah.

maybe your mom could come to you for a break? (if she won't smoke in your house, that is).

[sunshine's mama]

thanks...i'll try the first this, then this...haven't tried that in awhile....

mom will smoke in my house...even though i have a great outdoor patio....then she says she doesn't....hello?? small apartment...lol....

maybe i will xpost this over in the gentle forum.....

thanks mama!!! hugs right back to you.

[newmommy]

Originally Posted by bobica

ugh, 3 is unbearable in a lot of ways!!! we're coming out the other end (she's 4 today) and there is improvement, but i think most of my worst parenting moments occurred in the past year

[bobica]

Originally Posted by sunshine's mama

mom will smoke in my house...even though i have a great outdoor patio....then she says she doesn't....hello?? small apartment...lol....

.

eeeeewwwww :

[3 Little Monkeys]

dd3 is 3 yo. 3 has been very difficult for me with all of my girls, and I dread the baby becoming 3 (I've still got 2 yrs before that happens) because it seems to get worse with each girl! Dd3 is the master of "no" When I ask her to do something, she flat out tells me no : They do grow out of it eventually, just about the time you think you won't be able to take it anymore

[sunshine's mama]

I wish all I got was the flat out no...LOL....that I think I would be able to handle...I just get the blank stare like I'm speaking like I'm from Pluto, a giggle, and a continuation of what she was doing....it's frustrating to no end...

I had hoped 3 would be a bit better but from what I'm hearing so far.....if I wasn't allergic to Calgon, I'd ask for it to take me away.....LOL...

DSD has been going through it since she was 3 but I had hoped that's from the different households (expectations here, none at her mom's..her mom's own words....)....

Nice to know I won't be alone in it.....

[Learning_Mum]

Have you tried the 'ask, tell, act' method?

DS is only 18 months old, but so far it has worked well for him.

Basically the first time you ask, 'can you please put your giraffe in the toybox', if she doesn't respond, 'put your giraffe in the toybox or I'll take it away' (or whatever you feel is an appropriate action), if she still doesn't respond just get up an take the giraffe and tell her she can have it back tomorrow, next week, whatever.

Obviously the action needs to be appropriate. For example DS likes to take off down the driveway when we're outside. I ask him to come back, if he doesn't I tell him to come back or we'll go inside, if he still doesn't I go pick him up and we stay inside for a while. As I say it's working well so far for us, but then DS is younger.

[sunshine's mama]

thanks.

that worked until she was about 26months old....now she's just like whatever and continues on her way.....

she had a decent night yesterday but i was also able to go and take a long hot much needed bath and daddy had to deal (which just meant letting her play bowling on the Wii....)....

all in good time i spose...

her step sister will be here this weekend which will bring new stresses bc daddy doesn't deal well and favors her big time (he's all but come out and said it and everyone, his family included thinks this and they are the ones that brought it up to me...)....her sister when she is here pretty much ignores her and dd just wants to be near her bc she's her sister and misses her terribly but when she is here, she moans and groans about having to be near her and slams the door in her face when the little one tries to follow her in her room. I am worried one day, dd's fingers are going to get slammed in the door. It's happened once with the bathroom door already and dsd didn't seem to care and daddy did nothing about it....So dd was left with hurt fingers and a hurt heart bc she doesnt' understand why her sister doesn't seem to like her very much....(she's already told us that she can't stand her...)....but that's for a different forum. Just need to gather thoughts on it...

[Destinye]

At least you only feel like you are talking to a wall, I feel like I am banging my head against one myself!!

DD is 3 too and I posted in GD as have reached the end of my patience with her I got some great replies there. I am just reading a book called Kid Cooperation though by Elizabeth Pantley and she had some great ideas (she wrote no cry sleep solution (s)) and one thing she suggested that actually worked for DD is to make things talk like her toys asking her to pick them up, I think the book is worth reading as it is giving me some new ideas. Its such a challenging but wonderful age at the same time!