I need help! Freaked Out!

[OceanDancer]

I have caught wind that I person I know is going to call DHHS because I "Don't send my kids to school." This woman has a personal grudge against me.

Heres my problem. I didn't file anything with the DOA this year. I know I was wrong. After fighting with my daughter through her 3rd grade year (first year of homeschooling) I decided to pretty much take 4th grade "off". I followed her cues and we didn't get much of anything tangible accomplished. I felt I couldn't have her assesed because she would do poorly. In hindsight it was a stupid move.

Anyhow she has finally taken an interest in actually doing "school work". We have settled into a combo of unschooling, and traditional.

If this woman does call what may happen?

I looked on the DHHS website and "truancy" does not fall under the mandatory reporting laws. Does this mean calls to them of this nature are not investigated?

I do have quite a bit that she has accomplished so far this year as "proof" we have been doing something.

I am freaking out! I keep on thinking the worst.

[mykdsmomy]

What state are you in? If it's Ca., then you just need to file a private school affidavit....you should do it now and keep in on file......Once you tell us what state, we can help more

[OceanDancer]

Maine

[simple living mama]

First of all take a deep breath. If your child is not malnourished and your house isn't full of animal cr*p and your child seems well balanced then most of your worries are probably in vain.

Just play dumb and say you kept meaning to get around to it but just didn't. But you'll make sure you do it first thing in the morning. Our state has a penalty of about $50 and they tell you to go and register. I imagine most states have something similar.

Look in to Westriver academy. http://westriveracademy.com/ It's considered an umbrella school which is very friendly to unschoolers and a way to avoid all the junk we hate about school so much.

I truly think at worst it will be a slap on the hand because my friend and her husband who do social work tell me that what many people freak out about look so normal compared to the sad cases they get. Meth, mental illness, and things we don't even like to talk about.

Sleep well mama.

[OceanDancer]

You women here are fantastic.

These horrible thoughts of them taking my kids away keep on running through my head! I have a tendency to overreact.

My children are well fed, live in a clean home, and are very loved. I just don't want to have to end up explaining co-sleeping with my younger two, selective vaccinations etc. Maine is a fairly "crunchy" state though.

[OceanDancer]

Thank you for the link to West River!! The price is right, and I believe that this state will no longer require me to file with the DOA.

Now, is this for all age groups? My daughter will be 11. My other two are 4 and 5.

[simple living mama]

Originally Posted by OceanDancer

Thank you for the link to West River!! The price is right, and I believe that this state will no longer require me to file with the DOA.

Now, is this for all age groups? My daughter will be 11. My other two are 4 and 5.

I can hear calmness setting in OceanDancer. We all tend to overreact especially when it comes to our precious children so don't sweat it. Now in my state, Colorado, children don't even have to register with the state till their 7 years old. Check out your state laws to find out when that happens for Main. http://homeschooling.gomilpitas.com/regional/Maine.htm

And yes, she works with k all the way up to the end of high school. She's (Peggy) a way cool woman to talk to as well so call with questions if your still feeling unsure about things. She may have consultation fees now so beware if you are on a tight budget. Most of your questions should be answered pretty well on her home-page.

So who's the wicked witch that's after you anyway? God, if people actually knew how much time we spent working with our kids, we should get medals, not social service after us! Well, I don't need a medal but trying to make a point.

[mykdsmomy]

Originally Posted by simple living mama

God, if people actually knew how much time we spent working with our kids, we should get medals, not social service after us! Well, I don't need a medal but trying to make a point.

Word! I tend to overreact too. We recently had a "homeschool scare". I think because we go against the grain, we are under a more watchful eye of our neighbors, etc. Dont worry, mama....sign up with the umbrella school and you'll be good to go

http://homeschooling.gomilpitas.com/laws/blME.htm I found this for you too

[mykdsmomy]

this too http://www.nhen.org/LegInfo/state_list.asp

[OceanDancer]

Originally Posted by simple living mama

I can hear calmness setting in OceanDancer. We all tend to overreact especially when it comes to our precious children so don't sweat it. Now in my state, Colorado, children don't even have to register with the state till their 7 years old. Check out your state laws to find out when that happens for Main. http://homeschooling.gomilpitas.com/regional/Maine.htm

And yes, she works with k all the way up to the end of high school. She's (Peggy) a way cool woman to talk to as well so call with questions if your still feeling unsure about things. She may have consultation fees now so beware if you are on a tight budget. Most of your questions should be answered pretty well on her home-page.

So who's the wicked witch that's after you anyway? God, if people actually knew how much time we spent working with our kids, we should get medals, not social service after us! Well, I don't need a medal but trying to make a point.

The wicked witch is a woman with a vendetta. 3 or 4 years ago I was backing out of a friends driveway and scraped her car. The damage was a little 3-4 inch scrape on the paint. She claimed she didn't want to file an insurance claim and would get an estimate for the damage. Well low and behold about a month later she filed the claim. My ins. company denied it because she took to long to file. She them started harrassing me for the money. She somehow came up with an estimate claiming it was going to take 40hrs to repair the car. I suspect it is because her husband is a mechanic. After reading over the estimste I realized she was trying to get her whole car painted. I paid her over half of what the estimate was. She got my husband on the phone one night and made statements that she could use the money for whatever she wanted. I later found out she sold the car. I refused to pay anymore. She has been a thorn in my side since.

I wonder if Peggy will answer any questions by email. I looked into the private school laws in my state and as long as they can provide me with a certificate to verify my daughters enrollment then I would be good to go.

[3momkmb]

I'm in Maine.

Are you saying you didn't file an Notice of Intent for this year or have her assessed for last year? If that's the case I would file a NOI now. It's very simple and it will cover you for right now. I doubt they are going to care about last year. IME this state isn't that organized. As long as you are legally homeschooling NOW, you should be good. If this woman does call and you are contacted by DHS just show them a copy of your NOI. I would play dumb on the assessment if it comes up (doubt it will though). Worst they can do is make you do it now.

I'm not sure where you are in the state, but I have several unschooling friends who have their kids assessed every year. It's never been a problem that they don't *do anything* schoolish. If you are in my area (1/2 hr south of Portland) I might be able to help with further assessments. The woman we use is VERY good about alternative educational choices.

Deep breaths!

[Roo_Online]

What I would do to calm myself down (though it sounds like you are calmer now, hooray!).

* File the necessary paperwork! Just get whatever paper has to be mailed into the mail. and keep doing whatever is legally necessary in your state. For my own piece of mind, I would send it with "delivery confirmation" to prove that you are mailing the documents. Don't fret about not filing this year, you can't change that. But you can demonstrate that you are filing from this point forward.

* Write up a list of things you have accomplished, books read, etc. **IF** (and it's a big IF), you are called into question, you want to look like you know what you're doing. Bureaucracies like paperwork. So document what has been accomplished, print it, and file it in a neat folder.

* Gather up any evidence of your past dispute with this woman. I think it would only help your cause if you can show this woman has a grudge against you. Pull together any paperwork, notes from conversations, copies of checks, letters from insurance companies, etc. File that in a folder. Look organized and in control.

I have a feeling this woman is full of hot air, but if she really does make the call, you've been warned and have this opportunity to be ready.

All the best!

[phathui5]

You could join a private school like Clonlara and do their homeschooling program. From what I understand, they're totally compatible with unschooling, very relaxed about what they require from you.

http://www.clonlara.org/web/index.html

[sewingmama]

OceanDancer, I know nothing about laws and appeasing the state and all of that, but I wanted to send you some hugs. How stressful for you, when you're just trying to do what's best for your child! I wish people'd just leave us all alone. I hope it will all be okay for you.

[3momkmb]

Originally Posted by OceanDancer

My children are well fed, live in a clean home, and are very loved. I just don't want to have to end up explaining co-sleeping with my younger two, selective vaccinations etc. Maine is a fairly "crunchy" state though.

As far as vaccinations go, Maine has a philisophical exemption so you have a absolute right not to vaccinate at all and the only reason you need is because you feel that it would be a bad idea. I wouldn't worry about that at all. I actually have a child in school that isn't vaccinated and haven't ever been given any trouble.


I really don't think you need to spend money enrolling in a private school. Maine's laws are really easy to follow on your own and you should be fine if you file an NOI now.

JMO though.