Others making me feel awful

[~Katie~]

I've been using another website's due date club for a few months until I found mothering.com, and the topic of circumcision came up. My fiance and I are opposed to it and if we are to have a son will be leaving him intact. I expressed my opinion on it, and since I saw many posts claiming that not circumicising will "cause infections, make your son hate you, cause every woman to avoid your son, make him unlike his father, etc" I thought it might be a good idea to post some published research about it to support my opinion. After doing so I was attacked as being ignorant and inflammatory, mind you I didn't comment on anyone else's opinion. After this encounter I decided to leave this due date club. Was I wrong to support my opinion with research? It doesn't change my decision, but I can't help but be upset about it. I guess we can't always expect adults to behave as such :

[Lauren82]

Hi,

I deal with the same kind of garbage. I have left DDC's and have also been kicked off before for not following the herd mentality. I know how frustrating it is.

[Ann-Marita]

No, you were NOT wrong for backing up your opinion (which was attacked by the other posters) with research.

[Jillie]

Hang out here for a while and you will feel much better! Stick by your decicision to protect your son. Good Luck and Welcome!

[annalaura]

you did the right thing!

[A&A]

[eepster]

We believe in research and the scientific method here. We even believe in good old common sense. You'll fit right in.

Sorry your old DDC wanted to bury their heads in the sand.

[mamasophy]

Hang in there!

I know how you feel. I just started posting on this and a "mainstream" moms forum, and what amazes me on the circ issue is how so many people(not on MDC) are STILL believing the MYTHOLOGY behind RIC. I mean, I thought some of these ideas went out 15 years ago! I'm floored by some of the ideas that people hold dear. It shows me that where I live is great - I really have never had to defend not circ'ing here - it's not done by most people I know, unless for religious reasons -and we live near Santa Cruz, where you can get an official bris shalom (no cutting welcome ceremony)! So I really appreciate my home!

[Daisyuk]

And it's only going to get worse now the WHO are also peddling lies.

[Quirky]

You're doing the right thing. The more you can stay calm and post rational arguments backed up by credible sources, the more irrational the pro-circers appear to be.

Just keep in mind, too, you may not convince the rabid pro-circers who are deep in the throes of denial, but there are always lurkers and fence-sitters and you may be saving babies without knowing it!

[KA29]

I think a lot of people react strongly to research because they don't want to admit that they might be wrong. Circ is so ingrained in American culture that many people just don't want to think about it -- it's just what you do.

You are making the right choice for your son. The bottom line for me and my dh was that we were leaving him with the body he was born with. It is not my right as a mother to change my child's body. If my ds grows up and has some burning desire to get circ'd, he is more than welcome to then because it is his body and really should be his choice.

[Mamm2]

They reacted like that because you touched a nerve! These are mothers who have already circ another child and are in denial and/or who "researched" and you are calling them out on their research.

Human nature leans toward never acknowledging you made a mistake. That is why I admire the mommas who circ and then regret their mistakes. Many post here and I admire them greatly. It takes alot to admit what happaned and then try to educate others.

[~Katie~]

Thank you everyone!

Last night was rough on me but I feel pretty good this morning about leaving. I feel guilty for leaving and I know its important to provide another point of view on the issue, but hormonally I just can't take the negativity from people. Its hard to feel good about what's important to you when others are so negative about it. There are others over there from different countries who provide their experiences on leaving their son's intact, but they are dismissed as well. Its unfortunate that they don't take such a great opportunity to learn something from each other. I'm about to graduate with a degree in psychology, so I'm used to having to back up my opinion with research and needing to be well informed before I make a decision. Its the Us vs. Them mentality I suppose, they're threatened by anyone with a different opinion for fear that it will have some imaginary negative impact on them.

[Lauren82]

I hear ya about the hormones! Don't feel guilty for leaving. Personally I've found that I fit in much better here. I don't have to worry about being put down for not circing, extended nursing, cosleeping, etc.

[buckeyedoc]

I got frustrated on a DDC for the same reason, but I was happy to see that I wasn't alone. I think in the end, about 32% of the women on the board left their sons intact. Even though I wanted to gag over all the women who cheerfully stated they had their sons "snipped" to match Dad, the others who weren't sheople really made logical counterpoints. I also agree that you never know when you're reaching more rational lurkers and fence-sitters, so it is not in vain.

[trmpetplaya]

It sounds like it was definitely the best decision for you to just leave that group. What they did was horrible and I'm so sorry that you had to deal with that : Especially since you didn't attack their views.

And welcome to CAC!!!

love and peace.

[QueenOfThePride]

I'll scoot my pregnant butt over to make room for you here on the freak bench. *pats empty spot next to me*



ETA: At least you weren't BANNED from your DDC!

[hunnybumm]

I definetly wouldn't feel bad about leaving. I hardly ever go to other boards or discussions related to circ. I enjoy being able to be support for my opinions and research instead of flamed and yelled at.

I have said it before but people who are pro-circ tend to get really mad when you try and show them they are wrong, even if you don't direct it at them or say things like "My personal opinion is..." or "I believe...". They say you are trying to make them feel guilty, that you are attacking them, etc. My philosophy is that if you are secure in your decision and you KNOW what you are doing is right, then you shouldn't be feeling guilty.

I agree we need to continue on other boards to help the fence sitters and the ones who don't know about circ. But if it is causing you a great deal of stress then forget about it. Say your peace then leave.

[calngavinsmom]

Welcome home Momma.....Welcome home

Take care,
Tara

[jessjgh1]

Originally Posted by QueenOfThePride

ETA: At least you weren't BANNED from your DDC!

And very much missed at that!!!

OP, I've had to cut back on my involvement because of hormones too-- so sometime I think that is the best thing to do, even though I REALLY want to speak up to encourage information, facts, and reason instead of myths and 'culture comfort'.

I can't believe that people are being so dismissive even with people from other cultures that are there to offer their opinion. Just know that you (and they) have likely planted a seed in the minds of many. Some people will NOT have a boy this pregnancy but maybe next time they will remember.

Take care,

Jessica