New Single Mama

[momto3kids]

Hi, I thought I'd finally introduce myself since I've been lurking forever! I finally decided to leave my stbx yesterday and feel good about the decision but terrified!! My husband is not a very nice person and he has a bit of a drug habit. I've let him get away with it for some time now but since he is smoking in the house with the kids and flat out refuses to quit it's time for us to go. I have 3 beautiful children and I think they need to live in a household that has good morals. I have a few questions since I am totally new to this whole divorce thing. First, I was going to try to find a place of my own but I don't have a job right now, I've been a sahm for the past almost 4 years. So when I went to my parents last night to give them the news my mother told me that we could stay there. So that's not a problem. But do I go see a lawyer first before we move? I'm going to go for full custody with visitation so I would like to be out of the house when he gets served with that. He is going to flip his lid. He thinks that I am just going to let him have the kids when he's a drug user. So any advice would be truly appreciated!! Also, can I get a lawyer through the county since I have no income? Please help, I'm lost!! Thanks so much!!!

[awesomebirths]

welcome & hugs,
I would say to see a lawyer first and then ask for use of the home. He should leave, not you and the kids. do you own your home? if you are renting, then it might not matter, but if you own it, make him get out. not you!

[momto3kids]

We do own our home. But it's in his name with my name on the title. And I know I won't be able to afford to stay here, our mortgage is pretty high. If I go to my parents I can stay there and pay very little rent and be able to stay home with them through the summer without getting a new job right away.

[<~*MamaRose*~>]

HELLO & {{HUGS}}!!!

I'd consult a lawyer first before leaving just to make sure that STBX can't cause problems for you. Don't say anything to him before you do though and ya I think you should qualify for legal aid.

[canadianchick]

I was not married or with dd's father so I have zero advice but I did want to say that I love being a single mom and....... WELCOME!!!!

[izandleo]

I am a new single mom to this site and I am so grateful to see so much support. I wish I could have found you strong mamas when I was going through my really hard times. Now I am a happily single mama to my beautiful boy. We have somehow made it through disappointments, breakups, heartaches, and still have each other. Trying to build up my community of female supporters. I live in a not so crunchy area in the south, so this is a great find!

[JustVanessa]

Welcome to MDC. Don't have much legal advice b/c I am Canadian and things work alot differently up here. Good luck!