9 1/2 months later - Page 2

[bullfrog]

Originally Posted by barefoot mama

A problem I never anticipated is that NO ONE wants to talk about Marissa anymore. Only my dh and living children will. Its not like I go on and on about her. I just mention her once in a while and notice the absolute silence from the other person.

Oh BFM

If you're up for it - let's hear all about Marissa

What did she like?

What did she think was hilarious?

Favorite songs?

Favorite people?

Mama - My DD is 9 now, and well, I can only imagine -and it hurts too much to even think it. I'm so sorry.

[barefoot mama]

OK, I'll talk about Marissa

She was beautiful. I mean really truly stunning. Her eyes looked like the sky. They were so very deep and intense and wise.

She was happy. Almost all the time. Except once when we dressed her as a sheep for Halloween. She hated that. But she was so cute! She liked to go places. She liked the going and coming home, but not necessarily being anywhere.

Those long, beautiful fingers were always in her mouth. She only had a few sounds she made. (she had a vax injury~ very severe~ she was very limited physically and in her ability to express things) There was the raspberry, the giggle, and "uunnnnnn".

She was very stubborn. Just like her mama. I would try to get her to do things with her PT and she would sit her bottom down and refuse.

She was picky. She liked to be outside only on warm days (not too hot) and in the shade. Oh! And wind made her giggle like mad

She was so aware of everything. She followed conversations, smiled in all the right places, knew when people were talking about her.

She had two favorite toys. One was a plastic toy where you hit the top and the balls spin around and around. That thing was so loud! She got it going really fast sometimes. She played with it all the time. My house is so quiet now. Her other favorite toy was her stuffed lion. She never cared for stuffed animals until that one came along. I used to tuck her in at night after giving her snuggles and singing her favorite song and I would take that lion and roar. She loved it. She laughed and laughed. Both those toys are up on her shelf now, next to her urn. Sometimes I sleep with the lion.

Her very favorite song was "You are my Sunshine". I sang that to her ALL the time. She always smiled, no matter what. Even when she was having dozens of seizures I would sing that and she would give me the best smile she could and I would know she was OK. I still sing that song to her every day.

Marissa is a beautiful, powerful soul. Anyone who ever met her understood that. I just wish she had been meant to stay with me longer.

Thank you

[SuziBelle]

Thanks for sharing Marissa and her story with us. I am so sorry that you lost your little girl. My son had cancer at 2 and just being faced with the thought of losing my child has made me crazy the last couple years.

[bullfrog]

That was awsome - I'm grinning from ear to ear right now

My DS has one of those toys that you hit the top and the balls spin round and round. It is a really cool toy.

My Goddaughter is 8.5 years old now. She has CP - I just saw her this weekend and she makes very few sounds too - but her laugh is loud and clear. Everyone loves to make her laugh - she has a sick sense of humor like her mom - she laughs when someone falls or spills something - that's her favorite - maybe not so sick as slapstick!

[chloeM]

In hearing everyones stories, its amazing how many people tell you to just move on. You can never not feel the loss of people that touch our lives and our hearts soooo deep. I lost my brother when I was 13 he was 23. I have NEVER gotten over it, and I miss him everyday. He was my rock, and I fell apart after he left this world. We need to stop judging people for their grief, and start embracing one another, thats the only way healing can happen. We live in a world where people are afraid of emotions cause they are afraid they will get too close, or that they might make them a little human. We pretend we are strong and put on a fasade to make people think we are a certain way. These are not true, what lies beneath are broken hearts waiting to be mended, if only we would give one another the chance. Its only by fully greaving can we pick up the broken peices and move on.... Marissa you will never be forgotten, and all of the other momma grieving for loss in their lives, these people we lost are never gone, they have taken up residence in our inner most beings and are now living through us......never let their memories die.

[mamamelia]

oh mama, thankyou for sharing that with us.. i am smiling and have tears running down all at the same time. give that lion a hug from me, won't you?

[orangefoot]

A sheep for halloween? No wonder she didn't think much of that I'm smiling imagining that evening. and I'm going to stop now before I cry. : to you mama