Halt...Step away from the Baby!

[adamsfam07]

I'm not sure if I'm posting in the right spot or not but anyway, my question is...When your out in public how do you kindly let strangers know to please not touch, kiss, breath on your baby? The reason I ask is I always have people approach my ds and I when we're out he's now 8mo and the other day this little old lady came up to him while I was bagging groceries she was kissing his hands and playing with him. : But what really got me is when she walked away I noticed he had slobber on his hand where she had been kissing him! I almost died I freaked out and ran to the bathroom to santize him, lol poor kid. So what do you say to people without being too rude?

[zeldabee]

I don't know...but once an acquaintance of mine, a heavy smoker, was cooing over my then six month old son, and stuck her finger in his mouth. In. His. Mouth. I didn't see that coming. I think I just said, "...Oh..."

[mothragirl]

?

[grniys]

I think if this happens to me I'll just flat out say "Please don't touch him, thanks." If someone thinks it's rude well... that's their problem, not mine.

[JanB]

I'm perfectly okay with being rude to strangers who do this. Having had a 1-month-old infant almost die from a viral infection will do that for you. If I see someone approaching and it looks like they're going to get grabby, I'll politely say, "Excuse me, but I'd rather you didn't touch the baby, I'm careful about germ exposure so early." Some people do get offended, but you know, I don't care. For the first month or so I even ask friends and relatives to wash their hands with hot soapy water before touching the baby.

I agree that babywearing in a sling really helps prevent some of these issues. For some reason a baby in a carrier is seen as more "approachable" than one being worn close to Mama (or Papa).

On one memorable occasion I actually had to shield my dd with my elbow to prevent an overly touchy person in the grocery store from touching her. I admit it did feel kind of rude, but hello, it is just as rude to walk up to some random infant you don't even know and start touching/patting/tickling them without asking first. So I don't have a problem being firm with people.

[mom2snugbugs]

Originally Posted by zeldabee

I don't know...but once an acquaintance of mine, a heavy smoker, was cooing over my then six month old son, and stuck her finger in his mouth. In. His. Mouth. I didn't see that coming. I think I just said, "...Oh..."

This EXACT thing happened to me. : I freaked- but I just turned and left, mumbling something about having to find someone else or something. Why do people think they can touch our kids!! Even in a sling!! AHHHH!

[lilylove]

Moved to Parenting Issues

[NiteNicole]

I think if this bothers you, you need a short, quick statment like, "please don't, it's cold season (no matter the season)" or "Please don't, s/he is just getting over the flu/a cold/Tuberian Montel Oprahitis." Then move baby away and keep on with what you're doing. A long speech might better explain the situation, but you just want to make your point and move on. There's no way to say DON'T TOUCH MY KID without kind of offending the other person, so I would do it as quickly as possible (and I find that strangers are a lot like toddlers, they understand better with fewer words. I don't know why. I am certain they are perfectly reasonable adults in their normal lives) and then either get between the person and your kid or keep moving - either way, engage in something else so they know the conversation is over.

Or that's what I try to do. I hate to be rude, and I'm sorry to upset people who really just want to interact with a little kid, but I also hate having other people's slobber on my child. I don't think I'm unreasonable.

[zeldabee]

Originally Posted by mom2snugbugs

This EXACT thing happened to me. : I freaked- but I just turned and left, mumbling something about having to find someone else or something. Why do people think they can touch our kids!! Even in a sling!! AHHHH!

Yes, exactly. I was holding my son in a sling when that happened. Gah. He had two new little teeth, and this woman just couldn't help herself, I guess, and it was so unexpected that I couldn't stop her.

[guest9921]

Originally Posted by NiteNicole

"Please don't, s/he is just getting over the flu/a cold/Tuberian Montel Oprahitis."

@ Tuberian Montel Oprahitis.

[BelgianSheepDog]

"I'd wait until I get those test results back from the CDC before touching the baby..."

No seriously, with really obnoxious people I say screw politeness and just say "don't touch the baby." With innocent kindly grandma types I usually just whisk the kid away with a lukewarm smile and move along.

[Peony]

I keep my space. I am very careful when I take DD2 out, she has been sick most of her life, and I really try to keep her from getting anything else. If someone is getting too close for comfort, then I wrap my arms around DD2 (she is always in a sling) and start scooting away.

[ErinBird]

I dodge them. Little old ladies are the biggest culprits, IME. Luckily I am young and agile when I need to be

If someone does manage to catch us and starts getting in baby's face, I move us back. If they continue to try to touch, I grab my baby's hands and turn her away saying, "please don't touch!"

Almost always works.

[dakotamidnight]

I don't mind it really - in the local culture here it's customary to touch a baby if you admired them or you will give them ojo - evil eye basically.

I've not once had someone sick touch her though - they normally just admire from a distance. And DD has never been sick either.

[kaPOW!]

Originally Posted by dakotamidnight

I don't mind it really - in the local culture here it's customary to touch a baby if you admired them or you will give them ojo - evil eye basically.

I've not once had someone sick touch her though - they normally just admire from a distance. And DD has never been sick either.

When I visited San Antonio with my then 11 month old I noticed an increased number of touchy feelies. It really didn't bother me too much, and when someone finally told me about ojo it seemed rude not to let them touch him. I'd hate to be responsible for a curse!

[bright-midnight]

ugh. i hate it when people do that!

i usually tell them my dd is jsut getting over a cold and i would prefer them not touch her or get in her face. i do try to avoid it when possible, it seems like older ladies and young kids are attracted to my baby.

[wednesday2004]

After months of trying to get a few friends to not stick their fingers in the babies mouth by telling them about germs I gave up. I started telling them he bites. They haven't stuck their fingers in his mouth since.

[becoming]

I try to wear my tiny babies anytime we're out in public, specifically so this won't happen!

[sunflowers]

Originally Posted by wednesday2004

After months of trying to get a few friends to not stick their fingers in the babies mouth by telling them about germs I gave up. I started telling them he bites. They haven't stuck their fingers in his mouth since.

In the beginning I put dd in a pouch. Most didn't realize I had a baby in there she was so tiny. Maybe they thought I had some very warped sense of style? One receptionist at a doctor office thought I was still pregnant until dd started to move around - the look on her face was priceless

After she got too big to "hide", I just tell people who ask that she's sick. If they don't ask before trying to touch, I walk away. I keep a large area of 'personal space' when I'm in public. Strangers are easy. IME, dealing with family and friends is where it gets sticky...

[Redifer]

Originally Posted by sunflowers

IME, dealing with family and friends is where it gets sticky...

Amen. Strangers I can handle. Nobody ever usually approaches me, I think I give off a "Stay away" vibe.

Family, on the other hand... SIL and I have this problem constantly. They won't just touch the baby, either; they'll full on pick the baby up from wherever they may be and walk off. What's worse is when DH's grandmother does it; she has very weak wrists and can't usually walk without stumbling around.

We bought a swing for DH's grandmother's house so that maybe she'd stop picking up my 2 month old nephew without even asking. No dice. After talking to her, yelling at her, no effect. Yesterday she picked him up out of the swing while SIL was using the bathroom, and I almost crapped my pants. She was holding him in one arm, stumbling around the living room, and the poor babe was literally just hanging out of her arms... I flew over and snatched him away before he fell or she fell on him.

Problem is, she gets all snippy about it with SIL and I. "I'm the great-grandmother, I am entitled to enjoy the babies". She doesn't seem to understand that A) it's incredible rude to pick up someone's sleeping infant without their permission .. and 2) it's completely unsafe for her to be doing so!



Gahhh I hate family members around my babes fr this reason. They seem to think they're fun toys instead of little people. And they wonder why I fall off the face of the planet for a few months when I have a new baby.