the 42 week, home turned hospital c section birth

[Massagemamma]

Hey all. I never posted since our daughter was born and am laughing to see that not many of us are right now due to the fact that these newbies are all consuming.
I guess I wanted to simply put in my expierence of our birth story just to share. I was also 42 weeks cooked (original due date march 4th) waiting and waiting for my beloved home/water birth to take place on my porch and comfy house. When after three days of night only contractions, my water finally broke 3:30 on Monday morning. We labored like champs here at home for over 35 hours, all positions, all rooms, castor oil, herbs, massage points. I never dilated passed 3 cm. THen the decision came to transport to the hospital with midwife and husband all firmly by my side. I got the worst doctor in the world. All ego, no bed side manner (no eye contact, very rough, and took one look at my chart and said "you are under five foot, we will probably do a c-section. You see, most women who are short cannot birth a baby normally!") Another 11 hours into hospital and pitocin land, my blood pressure started spiking and temp was up (probably from the stress of the doctor being such an ass and not being aloud to eat or drink anything) I was given a spinal and a c-section. Still never dilating passed 4 cm.
Good news is that I was handed a beautiful 7 pound 7 ounce baby girl who we named Lucia Jean.
Has anyone else every not dilated and why does this happen? My first thought is to sort of blame myself for "not letting her go" from my body. Anyone expierences would be helpful. Thanks

[seeing_stars]

i'm sorry that your birth experience wasn't what you had hoped for.

Congrats on the baby girl!

[lunabelly]

Congratulations on your baby girl!

I'm sorry your birth didn't go as planned, but you shouldn't blame yourself at all. There are forces at work (in the medical field) that are so much bigger than one laboring woman can take on.

Have your read Ina May Gaskin's Guide to Childbirth? It's really good-- and might offer some answers and healing.

[avaylee]

Congratulations on your little one!

I hope that you find all the support here that you desire to answer any and all of your questions. ~hugs~

[jkg]

Congratulations on your healthy little girl!! Lucia is such a lovely name!

Please don't blame yourself for the section...I had one too, and I know how it feels to wonder what you could have done differently...but you need to give yourself some time to grieve that the experience was not what you had hoped for. I am in the process now, I know it's hard. The Kundalini yoga guru Gurmukh Kaur Khalsa says that all babies enter this world the way they are meant to...for some reason that we may never know, our little ones were meant to enter the world this way. I wish you many peaceful and healing vibes! Enjoy this time with your little one, and if you want to talk about your experience, please pm me.

[MsElle07]

Congratulations on your sweet new baby!

I'm sorry the birth didn't go as planned.

[Nani]

Congratulations Mama!!!!
Lucia is such a gorgeous name!!! I've always loved that name!
There are forces in nature that we can control and those we can not control, and labor is such a mysterious event that we can not control. Please do not blame yourself - at all, not your body or your ability to birth or your ability to give it all. You labored for a LONG TIME there!!

I'm sorry you had such a bad doctor! You can always write to the board of directors of your hospital there if you want to officially complain about his conduct

[sparkprincess]

Please don't blame yourself!! I had the exact same thing happen with my first labor. My total labor ended up being 40 hours. I narrowly avoided the c-section, but ended up AROM, pit, epi, and a vacuum extraction. I was exhausted.

Because of that experience we did more research and came up with a few more tricks to add to our bag. But that's all we could really do - learn what we could from it and move on.

Hugs and congrats on your little one!!

[Yo Becca]

Congrats! Sorry you faced such complications and a jerk OB, but so glad you have your sweet girl. If this had been a girl, she would have been a Lucia too!

I want to second PPs - there are many reasons that you may not have dilated, and I would suspect the stress of the hosp and OB contributed to it (I think it did with me with DD - and being told you can't do something certainly doesn't help it happen quicker). Don't blame yourself or your body. And don't assume the same will happen with future births. Hugs, mama.

[Mummytwice]

You cannot blame yourself..... some womens bodies have a hard time opening- that's just the way it is. With my first, I was very close to getting a c-section due to the fact I wasn't dilating. Just pay special attention to your self too in the next few weeks, allow yourself time to process your birth. You were in labor for a long time by the time you ended up with a c/s, you and your body must have been exhausted by the time they sent you the OR.

Congratulations on your new baby girl!

[Astromom]

Comgratulations on your sweet new baby girl! I'm so sorry that your experience wasn't what you planned.

[bongoblue]

Congratulations!

Just wanted to post that I've had 2 deliveries like you experienced, really long unmedicated labors followed by c-section. Both were due to bad head position (both boys had their chins untucked, trying to come out with a weird part of the head, like the ear!) despite huge efforts to get my babies in a good position for delivery (chiropractic, optimal fetal positioning, yoga, affirmations, positioning during labor, you name it). My first labor was 2 1/2 days and only got to 5 cm before my vitals got me a ride to the OR. This time, working hard for a VBAC, I labored at home for over 2 days and in the hospital for 18+ hours. I was with a very, very VBAC friendly delivery team, midwife and family practice docs, in a very VBAC friendly facility, and was at 6 cm for 10+ hours before my son was born. I worked so hard for natural vaginal deliveries and was in such an amazing place mentally/emotionally for this birth. Sometimes, stuff just happens. My midwife, who has seen it all, said that there wasn't anything different we could have done. Try not to beat yourself up too much - you worked really, really hard, mama!

Enjoy your baby and get lots of rest when you can!

[Massagemamma]

Thank you so much for the love and support everyone! I really appreciate the personal stories too, it helps me to normalize a bit. I have a great group of mommy friends, but onlyone who has c/s. Sometimes I think I am all done healing and then another wave of either physical or emotional pain hits. It's only been three weeks so Iknow that i need some patience! Thanks again for the love.