Looking for pointers for meeting with the teacher today..

[maliceinwonderland]

First off, let me preface by saying this has not been a good year I spent last year practically begging dd's school to have an assessment done, which they wouldn't do because she wasn't "old enough". I had her assessed myself this year, and her results came back as adhd, asperger's behaviors, with extremely high intelligence and verbal/reasoning skills. But, she's working at under grade one level in school (she's in grade two).

I've met with her teacher a few times during the year, and while I've tried to offer input and ideas that dd's teacher used last year with success, this year's teacher hasn't tried any of them, or if she has, she hasn't let me in on it (the lack of communication is a big thing too). Basically, I feel like I'm talking to a brickwall when I speak to the teacher, or the vice principal who is in charge of setting up special resources. When I took dd's assessment to him, he skimmed the summary and said "Well, this isn't serious enough to warrant an IEP. We wouldn't have a meeting about this." So nothing has been put in place for dd.

At the end of last week I got her report card, and in the section that states whether or not they will progress to the next grade, it says she's at risk of not passing. So I'm confused. She has a diagnosis. I've given it to the school. She's functioning at below grade one level, and yet this isn't reason enough to warrant an IEP?

I phoned the school board today and left a message basically outlining all of this, and a gentleman there is supposed to give me a call back tomorrow. But in the meantime, what exactly do I say to the teacher tonight? Everytime I go in it's pretty much the same thing. Dd is not completing work, she's behind the other kids, etc etc. And I really don't know what to say to the teacher, as it seems when I've tried to offer suggestions, she doesn't really care for them anyway! I feel like I'm doing what I can. I make sure dd does her nightly reading (and we read a ton besides that), I help her study her spelling words. I'm also currently working on her reading in english (she's in french immersion and I'm switching her to english next year if I don't homeschool) The teacher doesn't send home any work that she's falling behind on (I've suggested this) so I haven't been able to help her with that..although I know they actually need to see work done AT school. I get the feeling the teacher thinks we don't do anything with dd at home related to education, meanwhile we're pretty much tv free and take atleast one trip to the library a week..so I just feel like no matter what I do, they assume we're not helping dd at home. Which is a completely different topic altogether. It's just SO frustrating to never take anything away from these meetings.

Any suggestions for me?

[mammastar2]

That sounds really frustrating!

Probably this meeting with the teacher is only a placeholder, from your perspective, now that you're going over the school's head to the board.

My first instinct, if you're faced with a pointless litany about her not turning in work, being behind, etc etc, would be to smile expectantly and say "I'm so looking forward to hearing your plan for dealing with this!" I mean really, if the teacher doesn't want to hear your ideas, it must be because she's got some of her own, right? Right?

[maliceinwonderland]

Originally Posted by mammastar2

That sounds really frustrating!

Probably this meeting with the teacher is only a placeholder, from your perspective, now that you're going over the school's head to the board.

My first instinct, if you're faced with a pointless litany about her not turning in work, being behind, etc etc, would be to smile expectantly and say "I'm so looking forward to hearing your plan for dealing with this!" I mean really, if the teacher doesn't want to hear your ideas, it must be because she's got some of her own, right? Right?

Yeah..weird thing is, I've never heard any ideas from her either. The meetings kind of go like this..

Teacher: (insert several negative comments about my dd)
Me: "Well, last year dd's teacher tried this and it seemed to work quite well..
Teacher: (glazes over what I've said with a "hmmm" or "really" and continues giving me 100 reasons why my kid sucks)

That sounds like an exaggeration, but seriously..at the beginning of the year I mentioned dd responds really well to positive comments about small things she does properly, even if it's that she actually pulled it together and took out a workbook and pencil when it was time. If you take a second to say "Oh! Thanks for getting ready so quickly!" or something, it snowballs into more positive things. And the teacher said "Well, if she did anything positive I would be sure to take note of it." That's an exact quote..as I couldn't possibly forget that statement if I tried.

I think today I'm going to suggest that I come into the class and sit with dd a few days a week for the next while to see if that helps her progress any. I imagine the teacher will shoot that idea down too, but I'm running out of suggestions. :

[mammastar2]

Ugh. Honestly, I really would recommend just directly asking her for her plan to deal with the situation. A parent-teacher meeting is not simply an opportunity for the teacher to vent, and you shouldn't have to keep putting ideas out there to get shot down. Really. Try it and see what happens.

[CarrieMF]

Even though you've gone to the VP you need to go to the Principal too and let them know all the problems you've had with this teacher. There is a teacher here who is alot like this one. This is her 2nd year teaching at this school and because of parent complaints to the Principal the P told her to shape up or she's done at the end of this year.

I agree with the pp about directly asking the teacher what she plans to do to help your dd, don't wait for her to give ideas.

[flyingspaghettimama]

Originally Posted by mammastar2

Ugh. Honestly, I really would recommend just directly asking her for her plan to deal with the situation. A parent-teacher meeting is not simply an opportunity for the teacher to vent, and you shouldn't have to keep putting ideas out there to get shot down. Really. Try it and see what happens.

:

[escher]

I'm a teacher, and not yet a parent, but it definitely sounds like you need an IEP for your child--that would help with a lot of the issues you are facing. I do think it is always best to keep the teacher in the loop about what you are doing, since they are the person who is spending a good chunk of the day with your child--maybe you could mention to the teacher the conversation you'll be having tomorrow? The teacher will definitely find out about it eventually...

Good luck!

[LiamnEmma]

Hmmm, I'd start throwing around words like "advocate" and "attorney". Now, are you in Ontario, Canada or Ontario, California? (you can pm me with that answer if you'd like). I just ask because it makes in difference in terms of your rights as a parent. I'd also not necessarily fool around with the school board and I'd go for a letter, plainly requesting a full evaluation of your child with an IEP that discusses whether or not she is eligible to receive special education services (this is all based on the assumption that you are living in the U.S.) and I'd cc that letter to the following people; Superintendent, Asst. Supt. of Education, Director of Special Education, School Psychologist for the school your child attends (you may need to contact the school to obtain that information), principal of your school. Don't bother with nasty teacher. She's not worth your time.

[LauraLoo]

Originally Posted by LiamnEmma

Don't bother with nasty teacher. She's not worth your time.

ITA. As hard as it may be to completely ignore the teacher, you'll need to; she isn't going to be helpful with her current attitude. Some teachers don't see themselves as part of the solution, but rather focus on all the negative.

LiamnEmma has good suggestions -- your dd definitely sounds eligible for IEP services. I hope your dd gets what she deserves and is entitled to soon.

[orca]

I’m assuming you are in Ontario, Canada. Here is a good link that gives loads of info on the IPRC process.
http://www.edu.gov.on.ca/eng/general...d/hilites.html

I’m a Special Education Resource Teacher and this should get you started. PM me if you have any specific questions. Just a few pointers:

1. Once you request an IPRC the Principal is OBLIGATED to hold a meeting within 15 days. If they have highlighted that your child’s promotion is at risk then you have every right to ask for this.

2. If the school is difficult and chooses not to identify your child you can appeal the decision. However, this is usually the last step in a long process so I’d try #3 first!

3. If your child’s promotion is at risk then I GUARANTEE they have had an “inschool team meeting” about her. The record of this will be in her OSR (Ontario Student Record). These are kept in the office under lock and key. As the parent you have a right to view this file at any time and all minutes of meetings will be in there. Once you have seen these papers ask where her “growth plan” is. If they do not have one, seriously question how her promotion can be at risk if they have not taken any steps to help her achieve. They can not just wash their hands of her. If she does have a growth plan in place and things have not improved, then the next step is an IEP.

4. This is not technically the classroom teacher’s responsibility. It is her job to identify your DD as a student at risk and then the SERT (Special Education Resource Teacher) should step in and start a paper trail of meetings and next steps. Go directly to her and ask what her plan is for your DD. Better yet, request an “in school team meeting” and ask to be present. The classroom teacher, Principal and SERT are required to be there.

PM with what board your DD is in and I might be able to give you even more specific advice. I'm sorry you are not getting help from your school

[Jane Plane]

How did it go, miw?

[maliceinwonderland]

Just an update for everyone who's been so helpful. I left a message for the principal today requesting a meeting. I mentioned to the secretary that I was confused as I had spoke with a gentleman at the board of education who seemed to think dd needed an IEP as she's below grade level and blah blah blah. The principal phoned back and left a message saying she would be happy to meet with me. Funny, because their exact words when I gave them the assessment was that they wouldn't meet with me, that it wasn't necessary
I think I may have mentioned in a more recent post, the teacher is actually turning out to be the most reasonable of all the people at the school I've dealt with. The meeting was pretty much the same as the others, but I had a lot more questions for her and atleast feel like I got some information as to what I can do to help dd.

Thanks again to everyone who replied. Your help is very much appreciated!

[kathymuggle]

Just to second what the PP said - when you have your principal meeting you can request an IPRC and they must hold a meeting about it.

Good luck!

kathy