Is this more common that I think?

[mother_star]

Since I've been living here I have seen a fair share of parents pushing there kids on other parents. For example: I came home with my 2 kids and made lunch for the three of us. I hear a knock on the door and it's a friend of my older ds. I said to her, "My you ate fast." She said she hadn't eaten yet, that her mom was gone to get her little brother at daycare and that her mom told her to come eat here. Her mother never asked in advance or anything! I couldn't say no, so I gave her my lunch. I couldn't leave her go back to school hungry. It breaks my heart that there are famillies that actually do this. I don't know this little girls parents, so I can't say if they work or not. But if her parents aren't gonna be home for meals can't they at least send a lucnh with the child to school, so they can eat at the cafiteria(sp?) or something?

Wow, I'm just in shock that there are parents out there that actually don't care where their child is!! I guess I still have a lot to learn!!

How common is this? Does anyone know?

It's so sad...:

[Thalia the Muse]

Wow. I think in some neighborhoods, kids coming over and asking "can so-and-so play?" is very common -- but parents sending their kids over to invite themselves to eat? No, that seems really unusual. I would be very worried about that little girl -- and I would tell her parents that you cannot feed her unless she has been invited to lunch.

[pinksprklybarefoot]

That is insane... What were they thinking? : I can't believe they would a) send their kid to your house with out asking you first, b) expect you to feed her and c) send their child to a person's house that they did not know (they got lucky this time, but what if you had been a child molester?). That is really irresponsible parenting.

[Rhiannon Feimorgan]

That seems really odd too me aswell!

[Thalia the Muse]

I think they are either shameless and have a big sense of entitlement -- or possibly the little girl is not reporting accurately? Maybe she has behavior issues and they actually did feed her? But if she's your son's friends, you probably would have noticed something "off" about her before now in that case.

If it's the first -- poor kid.

[EnviroBecca]

Seems odd to me too.

There is a family on our block who allows their 6yo daughter to go for a walk with ANY adult, with no destination specified and no estimated time of return, so long as she tells her mom or grandma that she's leaving. They are very standoffish to my partner and me; they dodge our attempts at conversation and do not even know our names. Of course we would never harm the girl, but we wonder what would happen if, say, I and my kid and this girl were all hit by a truck and unconscious in the hospital--I know the girl's full name and address, but how would the hospital know who to call, and how would her family look for her other than to go to my house where I wouldn't be home? Maybe they wouldn't bother looking for her.

My point is, there are families who do this kind of thing, but it's not all that common, I think.

[Shonahsmom]

There's always the possibility that the girl told her mom she was invited over for lunch and then told you that she was sent over for lunch.. yeah, if that is the case, mom should've checked in with you..

I think I would just walk over there and say something like, "Hi there! Your dd came over for lunch yesterday. I just want to make sure you knew where she was. Also, we hadn't been expecting her for lunch and I didn't have anything extra prepared." And just stop there and see how mom responds. I think it's a good way to gauge the mom without totally offending her if she truly hadn't known what was going on while also letting her know that your not down with her kid just showing up expecting lunch.

[newmommy]

That doesn't sound common at all!

[*daciaperfect*]

that seems rather odd. coming over to ask to play is one thing, but food! that seems over the top. i would have a talk with the family. i dont mind feeding other kids, as long as i know i will have to. i dont want it to just be some sort of expectation.

[Amris]

No, I'm sorry, lazy, uninterested parenting is not unsual.

How I wish it were.

Whether these are lazy, uninterested parents, I don't know. I do, though, know that this sort of behavior is typical amongst lazy and uninterested parents.

[Brigianna]

That particular situation is probably extreme, but parents pushing their kids on people is fairly common, I think. I wrote a thread recently about a mother who kept inviting her son to my house for "playdates" (free babysitting). It happens. Maybe you're the only childcare there is?

[mother_star]

These are parents that I have never met yet. And they haven't met me yet. They are a new family in the block and thier dd goes to the same school as my ds. She comes over now and again to play, and I don't mind that. I can have a house full of kids and it wouldn't bother me at all. It only happened this one time so far.

pinksprklybarefoot.... You are so right! I couldn't agree more. I haven't even thought of that until I read your post. OMG what the heck is wrong with parents like that these days?

I don't know how any parent can send their child somewhere that they don't even know the parents, or try make a step to at least know what you look like.

One little boy came over for dinner I was asked the night before) and his mother never came in or anything. We are complete strangers!


I always go into my ds's friends house to meet the parents first before I even allow him to go over and the parents MUST be there for him to go. Other parents allow thier kids ages 8-10 yo alone with no supervision! Sometimes for the whole afternoon or even a couple of hours until they get home from work. :

: : :

I guess I'll never understand these types of parents!

[lalaland42]

Could they be starving? Sad to say that sometimes happens in the US. : If the parents didn't have money for food, maybe they thought that you couldn't say no to a kid and that is better then the girl going hungry.

[funkygranolamama]

I would worry that the little girl had a little something to do with that, too. I agree that you should check with the mom to find out what happened. The mom really should have checked with you either way(unless she didn't know). It's very possible her mom told her it was time to eat and she said "I'm not hungry yet" and then decided she was bored and came to your house when her mom left (possibly against the mothers wishes, another reason I'd check it out). I'd be livid if my dd was going to homes of people I don't know, but then again I don't leave her alone at home.