Bully Prevention Program

[annettemarie]

I'm not sure how I feel about this. Tonight at Michael's school they unveiled the new "bully prevention program." There are consequences for both bullies and "bystanders." The bystander consequences for third through fifth are the same as the bully consequences (from 15 minutes recess loss to being reassigned to an alternate school placement.) I have a problem with the bystander thing. If a kid is a bully, and is intimidating the bystanders, why should they be punished for not telling on the bully? I mean, I get that in an ideal world they would get an adult, but it just seems harsh to me. Plus, I want to know why it's all on the kids. Where are the adults who are supposed to be supervising them?!?!

[lauren]

It sounds like the school doesn't have a very good understanding of the dynamics of bullying. Bullies use threats, intimidation and fear to keep everyone at bay.

In our school the opposite is happening. There is a serious bullying situation going on and the children have been forbidden to speak of it so as not to ruin "the investigation."

I think both of these policies (your school's and mine) send very strange mixed messages to children.

[LiamnEmma]

I disagree with the idea that bystanders are innocent. Tell that to Kitty Genovese or any other person who has been harmed while "innocent" people stand by and watch. Now, I can see why one would want to put a positive productive curriculum into place prior to the punitive aspect being enforced, but if a person is willing to stand and watch while another person is harmed, well, that makes the person an accessory in my opinion. I would discipline my child if s/he did not intervene, either actively by attempting to stop the violence or by getting an adult to help.

[mattemma04]

I disagree with the punishment as well.Bystanders should be encouraged to report negative behavior,but not punished.Many do not say anything, because they get a negative label from teachers and students.

To many times the adults are told,and the adult does nothing or turns on the child who reports something.Educate the children,but also educate the adults.

Will adults be punished as well when they do not act on information? Will children start reporting constantly out of fear of punishment? And if the reporting gets out of hand how will the teachers work it out?Punish constantly,ingnore all but what they deem the most serious/valid?

Sadly no system is perfect,but I do feel that openly talking to the children as a group and talking OFTEN when negative behaviors occur may help them see that working together is better that being hostile towards one another.

[kofduke]

Annette, is it a formal research-based program? What's the name of it? Bullying is a "hot topic" in counseling circles right now and this isn't something I've ever heard of - I'd like to read more.

[annettemarie]

It's based on the work of Dan Olweus. Also, it came out of this idea that PA either now has or might soon have a law requiring all schools to have asome sort of bully intervention program.

They made a big fuss about all the "training" kids are going to have. THey're also going to use a social skills program called "Second Step". I was thinking about this last night, and I guess there are two kinds of bystanders--the kind who are standing there smirking and silently cheering on the bully, and the kind who is actually a victim themselves. If a bully is beating up on or otherwise intimidating a kid in full view of the public (in which case I want to know where the heck the adults are) isn't that, in and of itself, a form of intimidation? Isn't it a way of saying "I"m powerful, keep your mouth shut, or the same thing can happen to you?" I guess that's my big fear. I know my own little eight-year-old guy. He never would bully, but he gets very intimidated by posturing by other kids. I would be really ticked if he ended up in trouble because he was afraid he was going to be the bully's next target. And to be honest, I don't have a lot of faith that the school will take the time to sort it all out. In the past, they've shown a real tendency to stick with the program and the "rules" without a lot of room for individual situations.

Kristin, I'd love your input on this since you work in counseling!

[LiamnEmma]

Second Step is touted as being a very good program, particularly when it's implemented across the board and not piecemeal. When some teachers teach it but others don't, when people pick and choose what they'll use, then I think you have far more issues--and that speaks of a lack of commitment to the process in my opinion. And bullying occurs [I think] very often from teacher to student. With the "tattling" and the labels, etc., and it sounds like that worries you and I'd agree wholeheartedly with that. My ds has landed on some lunchtime supervisor's radar this week and I'm not looking forward to hearing about today's fiasco when I pick him up. I haven't yet seen the second step in action although I've browsed through the curriculum casually at an exhibition hall. But two professors I have great esteem for--one of them has made bullying behaviors and ending adolescent violence his life's work--give big thumbs up to the program. It's run by a non-profit agency as well, which speaks volumes to me about who endorses it and why (reading first anyone?).