breastfeeding = low libido?

[littlebudsmom]

Has anyone experienced low sex drive due to breastfeeding? I've read that it is possible. I really have very little desire to have sex and am wondering if other mamas have gone thru this.

[LeslieB]

Yep. DS is 13 months, and I have had NO sex drive since he's been born. I guess it doesn't affect everyone this way, but yes, it has definitely affected me. It's kind of a good thing for dh that he's in Iraq right now. However, he's coming home in May for 2 weeks, and I'm kind of nervous about it because of the lack of a sex drive. Maybe once we see each other again, I will feel differently. I hope so!!

[hottmama]

My libido was gone during my second pregnancy but back about a week postpartum, and still high, tandem nursing my 4 yr. old and 15 mo. old. Breastfeeding certainly has a hormonal effect but I think much of it is psychological-- it definitely was for me after my first was born and I had a low libido.

[LolaK]

OP - have you gotten your period back yet? I think the libido thing is almost all hormonal. I am breastfeeding my 26 month old and had absolutely NO wish to have sex (plus it hurt like hell) until she was 23.5 months. At that point I got my period and wham - libido was back and no more pain, not an ounce.

To me that just proved that my body knows what it is doing and I love that. No sex when I couldn't have a baby anyway and once I was fertile again I wanted to have sex.

[~Megan~]

I did with my first child. It lasted a really long time. However, after ds was born things were back to normal.'

I don't know if mine was due to breastfeeding though. I think I had a lot of issues with being exhausted and due to the birth experience with my first child.
My second birth was a HBAC and that made a huge difference in how I felt in all aspects of my life.

[saraann]

My daughter is 11 months, I have NO sex drive at all. No interest in sex at all. I've had one period since she was born which just made me moody but didn't increase my sex drive. My poor patient husband. I plan to continue nursing, I wish I knew how to get it back without weaning.

[Seie]

True here..

[Cinder]

I have a low sex drive always, but while bf'ing it's basically non-existant...and it didn't get better till about 6 weeks after DD weaned (at 4 years old) which was like maybe 1 month before I got pregnant and put on pelvic rest. Poor dh...

[noahandlinasmom]

My daughter is 10 months old and still breastfeeds on demand, no periods for me yet. I have no sex drive and usually very little lubricant. Since I stopped breastfeeding my first child only 2 months before I had my second, I can't really remember too well weather this was a constant problem or not. It seems I remember getting my "mood" back at somepoint between the two though.

[starhalo]

My dd will be 12 months in a few days, breast feeding pretty frequently, and my sex drive is pretty low as well. There are days that it's starting to show, but for the most part it's pretty much gone. I too haven't started my period, so I guess when it shows up maybe things will start to get back to normal.

[Birth Junky]

DD will be 13 months in a couple of days, my period returned at 3 months post-partum . . . still not much of a sex drive. I echo the sentiment above about the poor patient husband . . .

[Flor]

True here. Getting my period back at 18 months helped, but when ds weaned at 3.5 years, I felt a big difference.

My male OB tells me that male lions kill their young so they can't nurse so the mother will go back into heat. Ugh. I heard the same thing about bears on Be the Creature. Maybe our bodies don't want us to get pregnant again while we are still nursing.

[J's Mombee]

my drive is definately lower... but not low... DH feels like it is an improvement, bc he says that he likes the lower drive. : whatever... but it is definately not low. So, I guess if I was not so loopy and high pre bfing days, I would be lower than my lower now... make sense?

[sungrrl42]

My DD is 20 months & mostly bf'ing to sleep. I have been pregnant or bf'ing for about 4 years so I'm not sure if it's the bf'ing or just having kids. I have read that bf'ing causes lower sex drive & when I happened to share an article w/ DH he was like "Oh I didn't know that, thought you just weren't interested in me anymore." I just assumed everyone (including him) knew that pregnancy/bf'ing made your hormones wonky. So share info!
This has been an issue in our relationship for awhile. He has a very high drive & I don't. Not sure if it's hormones or I'm just "touched out" by the end of the day (I'm home w/ DS & DD, he works). It will be interesting to see if when she weens (not pushing that at all) if the drive goes back up to where it used to be.

[box_of_rain]

With both of my sons I have had absolutely NO libido while nursing. It came back strong immediately after my older son weaned.

My younger son is 20 months and still nursing on demand. No libido here, but certainly not worth weaning for (imo). DP and I have the rest of our lives to "be together". My nursing relationship with my boy is but a brief blip in time, relatively.

[NamastePlatypus]

Oh yes mama. I am still nursing at two and the only time a noticed a slight raise was after my 6th PPAF, which didn't come back until 18 months. Pretty much now. We still nurse all night but I think ovualting again is the onlyu thing that brought it up because he nurse now as uch as he did as a newborn, but with solids in his diet as well. I hope you have a dh half as understanding as mine.

[anitaj71]

Just a thought . . . Are you doing most/all of the childcare/housework/meals etc? how much time are you getting to yourself? when's the last time you had a nice massage or a bit of pampering? I have noticed my libido goes right down when I am overwhelmed, tired and just plain 'touched out' with a nursing baby. My biggest turn on is when dh mops the floors and cooks dinner!

[mammal_mama]

I think libido can be affected by both hormonal and psychological causes. My libido returns a LONG TIME before my fertility does (breastfeeding powerfully delays my fertility) -- and during my last pregnancy, my sex drive was extremely high (my body obviously wasn't trying to GET pregnant then, since it already WAS).

At some other times, I'm not as interested (or more interested in sleep), but honestly I don't find it a problem, if my husband's interested and I'm not, to just go ahead and make the connection anyway. Of course, breastfeeding doesn't cause painful intercourse for me as it does for some mamas. I enjoy it on some level whenever it happens.

Also, my dh is VERY easy-to-please and certainly doesn't demand that I perform like an athlete or p*rn-star. He's used to me being in different moods at different times. So, while sex can really be a big deal to me when my libido's high -- when my libido's low it's absolutely no big deal to just do it anyway.

[littlebudsmom]

Originally Posted by anitaj71

Just a thought . . . Are you doing most/all of the childcare/housework/meals etc? how much time are you getting to yourself? when's the last time you had a nice massage or a bit of pampering? I have noticed my libido goes right down when I am overwhelmed, tired and just plain 'touched out' with a nursing baby. My biggest turn on is when dh mops the floors and cooks dinner!

As a matter of fact, yes, I do 99% of the housework and childcare which I don't mind doing. I agree that it much more of a turn on to see hubby helping out around the house than grabbing my backside. Pampering? Probably since I was pregnant with my toddler. I'm in my early 30s - I should be in my prime! Oh well. Hoping that when my boy decides to wean that my sex drive will increase.

[Hokulele]

I'm right there with you. Thank you for this post. I had thought about asking this here, but got too shy to type it out.

DD is 21 months old, still nursing and I've had my period for 11 months now. Still no sex drive. My husband has been amazingly understanding about this. (He's the best!) But I hate not having that intimacy with him.

I'm sure much of this is hormonal but I also don't rule out the fact that I do 90 percent of the childcare and house-running. DH helps whenever he can but his work eats up much of his time, even when he is at home. And, yes, I do sometimes just feel "touched out" by DD.

My question is, though, does anyone know of foods etc that would help get libido going?