We included a "mother blessing" in a shower for my SIL. (We used the term "mother blessing" because of cultural sensitivity discussions I've read here regarding the term "blessingway".) The women who attended have many different philosophies, and I think every one of them enjoyed this way of celebrating my SIL and her baby-to-be. We purposefully styled the tone to be not-too-granola, not-too-mainstream. Each woman had been invited to bring a bead to represent each of her children. Those women who have not had children were invited to bring a bead to represent themselves. We went around the circle, expressed a positive memory of my SIL or a quote about motherhood or wishes for her birth, and strung our bead, then passed the cord to the next woman.
Some of the women expressed doubts ahead of time but everybody rose to the occasion and every one of them seemed to find it to be a very powerful and touching experience.
Looking for the wording we put in the invitation...
Quote:
We invite our female guests to join us in a Mother Blessing to celebrate [SIL] as a woman and as a friend, and support her as she journeys into motherhood. To help honor her, please bring
-A special bead for each child you have (or one for yourself if you do not) to string on a necklace for [SIL] to wear until and through her labor
-A thought, poem, story, or prayer for [SIL] on motherhood, wisdom drawn from your own childbirth experiences as mothers and women, or describe your connection with [SIL] - how you met her, what drew you to her, and why she is important to you
Together we will celebrate this rite of passage, affirm [SIL's] ability to have a beautiful birth, and create a symbol of our shared experiences. |
Each guest did whatever she was comfortable with, we had everything from cute funny motherhood quotes to misty-eyed expressions of love. I don't think my SIL wore the necklace through her labor, but she does use it as a nursing necklace and it is very special to her.
BTW, we worded it "female guests" because the shower was a big co-ed barbecue, but we sent the men outside to play so that the women could have our quiet time together. I think making the blessing a moment (albeit a long one) within the shower instead of the whole shower also helped with making the general tone of the shower one that people from all sorts of backgrounds could be comfortable with.
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