I have seen vaginal exams done over screaming protests with nurses forcefully pulling someone's legs open, and internal monitors placed the same way. I have not seen an IV forced, or a catheter - but definitely seen the scare tactics and coercion used. Mostly, this was during my training, because now I'm in charge 
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I've almost never had a woman refuse something I felt was necessary - now that is either a testament to my ability at explaining things, or to how well-conditioned women are to listen to me, an authority figure, during their births. Almost always, though, there is plenty of time for explanations and true informed consent. If something is not an emergency (and the grand majority of the time, anything I want to do is not an emergency) I always start the conversation with "You are fine and the baby is fine. We don't need to do anything urgently, but here are some options" and then explain what I think. Often, this is a situation where labor has stopped progressing, or the baby is showing some mild signs of distress, or something like that and I want to offer options. Sometimes folks agree with me, sometimes they don't, but always it is the woman who calls the shots.
The rare occasion where there is a true emergency, I try to talk out loud the whole time about what I am seeing, what I think needs to be done, and how it will feel. Only once can I remember participating in a situation which felt a little like an assault to me. It was a severe, torrential postpartum hemorrhage that just wouldn't stop, and I was trying to do some bimanual uterine massage as blood gushed so fast that the nurse asked me if a faucet was left on hearing it. Unfortunately, that is a procedure that hurts like he!!, and the woman was saying "Stop it, stop it, you're hurting me!" I was explaining out loud and apologizing out loud, and really didn't feel like there was any option at this point while the woman was bleeding to death in front of me. As the bleeding slowed, the woman became faint and lost her vision, and was momentarily unable to speak, and then she was able to come around. We talked a lot about this together after the episode because I felt so bad about it and it was traumatic for her - but I think in a similar situation I would act the say way, but only for a severe situation like that. (By the way, this lady lost half her blood volume with that bleed and needed several units of blood. Thankfully, I almost never experience something like that.)
.I've almost never had a woman refuse something I felt was necessary - now that is either a testament to my ability at explaining things, or to how well-conditioned women are to listen to me, an authority figure, during their births. Almost always, though, there is plenty of time for explanations and true informed consent. If something is not an emergency (and the grand majority of the time, anything I want to do is not an emergency) I always start the conversation with "You are fine and the baby is fine. We don't need to do anything urgently, but here are some options" and then explain what I think. Often, this is a situation where labor has stopped progressing, or the baby is showing some mild signs of distress, or something like that and I want to offer options. Sometimes folks agree with me, sometimes they don't, but always it is the woman who calls the shots.
The rare occasion where there is a true emergency, I try to talk out loud the whole time about what I am seeing, what I think needs to be done, and how it will feel. Only once can I remember participating in a situation which felt a little like an assault to me. It was a severe, torrential postpartum hemorrhage that just wouldn't stop, and I was trying to do some bimanual uterine massage as blood gushed so fast that the nurse asked me if a faucet was left on hearing it. Unfortunately, that is a procedure that hurts like he!!, and the woman was saying "Stop it, stop it, you're hurting me!" I was explaining out loud and apologizing out loud, and really didn't feel like there was any option at this point while the woman was bleeding to death in front of me. As the bleeding slowed, the woman became faint and lost her vision, and was momentarily unable to speak, and then she was able to come around. We talked a lot about this together after the episode because I felt so bad about it and it was traumatic for her - but I think in a similar situation I would act the say way, but only for a severe situation like that. (By the way, this lady lost half her blood volume with that bleed and needed several units of blood. Thankfully, I almost never experience something like that.)
These things were done to me at a military hospital but from reading here its pretty common everywhere.This time around I am listening to my inner voice and not bothering with a hospital at all.I will give myself respect.
at the 36 wk appt. Um, no, he asked you to please slow down and repeat a few things that you rushed through explaining. (She was POd because I couldn't leave work early to come to that appt 2 hrs early anyway, so she was rushing through explaining what happens when at the hospy.) And aren't medical records supposed to only record objective facts, not subjective opinions?
] or B.) are smart enough as a FTM to hire a real she-bear of a doula who will constantly remind you of your goals and run some serious interference.
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