I guess I was never physically forced, but gosh, I was just never TOLD what was going on, much less asked. With my first baby, the doc told me he was breaking my water AS HE DID IT, no, sorry, correction, he wasnt informing me of anything, I heard him explaining it to his intern (whom I also wasnt given a choice about) along with some comment about he HOPED this worked (said with a chuckle). I was hooked up to all kinds of monitors that I was never told I had a choice about (that was the reason for the AROM, so they could hook a monitor into his scalp, hes 15 now and still has the scar on his head). I also pushed the nurses hands away several times when she was "massaging the uterus" after the birth. And I said "no" and "stop" many, many times. I finally got a foot loose out of the stirrups and kicked her! Never asked or told about the episiotomy.
I know I had pitocin with number two, but not until I was pg. with number three and discussing options with my OB, who told me I had no choice about having pitocin, everyone does! (So I switched late in pg. with number three to a mw) So who knows what else was done to me that I dont know about? I had a epidural with number two and I did consent to that, but had no idea that meant the cath and all the rest went with it. No told me that, much less any risks of the epi (found those out later). So much for informed consent. Had asked before hand for no episiotomy and was told Id have it "only if necessary" again, never asked or told, it was just done.
I had number three at a birthing center to avoid all the crap, of course, I was pretty much made to lay on my side by the mw. I kept saying no to her request but by the end I was exhausted and in pain and I gave up, even though my body was telling me to stay on all fours. She insisted I HAD to be on my side or she wouldnt be able to "help" me. Well, he almost wouldnt come out and had to be really, really pulled (big baby) but I cant help thinking he would have slid out much easier on all fours. And whats the worst that would have happened? He would have landed on the nice soft mattress? At least they didnt cut me that time, I tore but that was better, hurt less and healed faster.
ANd none of that touches on the fact that both my hospital babies were given vitamin K shots, PKU sticks, Hep B vaccines etc. etc. and I dont remember to being told about it, asked for consent or signing any consent forms for any of it.
We wont even get into my first child being circed because of the misinformation I was given.
I am SO paranoid with this baby, but also know that I will be a lot more assertive about what I want or dont want done. And I have a bright pink sign for the babys bassinet with a list of DONTS. I have an ob who seems to very hands off and ok with letting things go natural when possible. Shes ok with no pitocin unless there is quite a bit of bleeding, has only done eight episiotomys in her career etc. So heres hoping.
I know I had pitocin with number two, but not until I was pg. with number three and discussing options with my OB, who told me I had no choice about having pitocin, everyone does! (So I switched late in pg. with number three to a mw) So who knows what else was done to me that I dont know about? I had a epidural with number two and I did consent to that, but had no idea that meant the cath and all the rest went with it. No told me that, much less any risks of the epi (found those out later). So much for informed consent. Had asked before hand for no episiotomy and was told Id have it "only if necessary" again, never asked or told, it was just done.
I had number three at a birthing center to avoid all the crap, of course, I was pretty much made to lay on my side by the mw. I kept saying no to her request but by the end I was exhausted and in pain and I gave up, even though my body was telling me to stay on all fours. She insisted I HAD to be on my side or she wouldnt be able to "help" me. Well, he almost wouldnt come out and had to be really, really pulled (big baby) but I cant help thinking he would have slid out much easier on all fours. And whats the worst that would have happened? He would have landed on the nice soft mattress? At least they didnt cut me that time, I tore but that was better, hurt less and healed faster.
ANd none of that touches on the fact that both my hospital babies were given vitamin K shots, PKU sticks, Hep B vaccines etc. etc. and I dont remember to being told about it, asked for consent or signing any consent forms for any of it.
We wont even get into my first child being circed because of the misinformation I was given.
I am SO paranoid with this baby, but also know that I will be a lot more assertive about what I want or dont want done. And I have a bright pink sign for the babys bassinet with a list of DONTS. I have an ob who seems to very hands off and ok with letting things go natural when possible. Shes ok with no pitocin unless there is quite a bit of bleeding, has only done eight episiotomys in her career etc. So heres hoping.
to all you mamas.
: ).
Without being told. For no reason.
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