I hear that tiny voice often myself. Your dd has been your dd for 3 years (at least from what I've read)......it took me 3 years to really adopt my dss in my heart....now I hardly hear that voice! I accept my role as his mother and recognize that I took the job, he didn't ask for me to be his mother. Give it some time and follow your heart.
no, you're right, I'm sure ego plays a part in this. I'm sure most SP and AP have a little of that 'I'm doing the job you resigned' kind of thing going on. But the flip side of it is the nagging thought that we aren't up to the job.
I think the family photos and scrapbooks are important, but it is funny how it annoys me that she idolizes her. I have to remind myself that like you said, it's important that she does feel this way.
Like there's this tiny little voice in me that says 'remember her, but I'm the one who is doing her job?'
amazing the flaws we find in our own character when dealing with kids.