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4 year olds in strollers - Page 9

post #161 of 197
Quote:
Originally Posted by JustJamie View Post
Are you volunteering? Not everyone HAS a sitter available, or someone who can go to the store with them.
post #162 of 197
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChrisCountryGirl View Post
I don't judge parents who have their preschool child in a stroller because you never know if the child has "special needs", including medical issues
Help me understand your POV. According to you, a preschool child in a stroller is OK, as long as they have "special needs"/medical issues; but a preschooler with no issues or a school-aged child (with or without issues) is not?

And how exactly does one devise such a precisely defined set of parameters?


Quote:
Originally Posted by mummyto3girls View Post
I don't understand why it bothers you so much.
Me neither.
If it bothers you, don't do it with your own kids. But don't beat on mothers who choose to use a stroller (for WHATEVER reason) - it's not a form of abuse as far as I can see, and nobody is being hurt.



Quote:
Originally Posted by lara1828 View Post
But I can only decide for my own kids where the limit is.

Lara




Quote:
Originally Posted by Jennifer3141 View Post
... in a world where people F-bomb their kids, abandon them, beat them, molest them, and even KILL them that someone would judge me harshly for allowing my kids to ride in the fire engine stroller at the mall. :
:



Quote:
Originally Posted by StephandOwen View Post
Because my son wants to. And that's reason enough.


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Originally Posted by GC_Mom View Post
BEST answer in this entire post.
AGREED.



Quote:
Originally Posted by dubfam View Post
But am I the only one who thinks it is wrong to make older kids ride in a stroller for containment?
But what if the circumstances merit containment? You can't possibly know enough about every kid in a stroller to make such a broad judgment, IMO.

Quote:
But I haven't had to "make" him sit in a stroller since he was 2 so I really don't sympathize with the parents who do it strictly for their own convenience.
And there is that holier-than-thou attitude that makes these threads so very hurtful and pointless. Why the need to make a statement like that?

Quote:
Get a sitter or have someone come to the store with you if your 4 year old really can't handle it without being tied into a stroller.
: Sheesh.
When this thread got resurrected, I cringed; knowing that something like the above statements were inevitable. The wording alone raises every mama hackle I possess.


And so, because it bears repeating:

Quote:
Because my son wants to. And that's reason enough.
post #163 of 197
My kids are ginormous. My two year old looks like an older 3. My 6 year old looks 8.

My 6 year old loved to go for a walk in a stroller while dp and I walked and talked pushing her until very recently...and I bet she'd still like it. She also likes wagons and her bike and her scooter. When she was 4 we bought the biggest double stroller we could find. Much wonderful walking together with her getting in and out the stroller to pick flowers ensued.

My two year old doesn't like them much. She doesn't ride unless she wants too.

It got us all out of the house. I can't imagine why I would care whether someone else's kid is in a stroller if they're happy with it. You're not talking about someone leaving their kid in it to cry while they wander around....
post #164 of 197
Yeah I'm not a huge stroller user- maybe that's the problem, that some parents think it's the only form of transport? We also used carriers, and have them walk. But we use the stroller a lot too. It's not like you know whether I use it all.the.time just by seeing me. My 22 month-old is humungo too, people usually think he's pushing three, and my 4yo is also tall and big. With two in many situations, I feel much better with a back up in the form of both a stroller and a carrier. Esp. since ds2 isn't into back carries much these days. I can't really carry both of them back to the car or wherever when the need arises. Nor is walking with two kids going at two different paces a very efficient mode of transport, should we need to walk more than two blocks in under an hour.
post #165 of 197
I live in Europe where it is not feasible to drive (conveniently) anywhere in town to do the shopping. I'm grateful for this for environmental reasons, as well as because it means that I support smaller, local shops. What it also means is that we need to walk relatively long distances a few times a week to get the shopping done. Has anyone tried carrying a two year old (or a heavy 1.5 year old?) or a whiney, tired four year old while also trying to carry most of the week's shopping?

It simply isn't feasible and my son stayed in his stroller till he was around four on these shopping trips. Sometimes he wanted to walk along, and that was fine, but he would also get tired and want to be in the stroller. Futhermore, I needed someplace to put all the shopping and my stroller has a great compartment underneath.

As so many people have said already, who cares? There are so very many variables in each and every "stroller situation" that no one can really know. As someone else said, even if it isn't optimal for the child to be in the stroller or even if s/he doesn't want to be at that moment, I'm not always sure that the parents' ease and convenience (for instance, when shopping when tired/overwhelmed, with other children in tow, etc., etc.) should be so lightly dismissed. If it makes Mom's shopping trip easier to have kid in stroller and that makes her happier and a better mom for the rest of the day, do all the anti-stroller brigade find that such a dreadful thing?
post #166 of 197
Dude, *I* get tired walking around the mall. I wouldn't expect a little kid to be able to handle it. Mine is only 19 months and I always use the sling, but I wouldn't have a problem using the stroller when she's too heavy for the sling and too tired to walk.
post #167 of 197
Quote:
Originally Posted by dubfam View Post
Yes, if your kid wants to, great. But am I the only one who thinks it is wrong to make older kids ride in a stroller for containment?...I really don't sympathize with the parents who do it strictly for their own convenience.
I dunno. Am I the only one who thinks that doing things for my convenience is not necessarily bad?

I make my kids do things they don't want to do. Go ahead, take your best shot.

We talk about AP and forced-independence/convenience/mainstream parenting as if they were diametrically opposed opposites. From where I sit (living real life, with lots of real (very different) kids), there's a sh!tload of parenting that happens in the in-between.

Quote:
Originally Posted by dubfam View Post
Even when they want to get out and walk? I understand young toddlers...I did that with my son for his own safety when he was younger. But I haven't had to "make" him sit in a stroller since he was 2...
Yeah, well, you had a different kid than my youngest.

Why am I posting to this thread? Sorry to be snarky, but sheesh. Do we really have to dredge up this whole "aren't the other parents of the world terrible" crap again?
post #168 of 197
Quote:
Originally Posted by UptownZoo View Post
I dunno. Am I the only one who thinks that doing things for my convenience is not necessarily bad?

I make my kids do things they don't want to do. Go ahead, take your best shot.

We talk about AP and forced-independence/convenience/mainstream parenting as if they were diametrically opposed opposites. From where I sit (living real life, with lots of real (very different) kids), there's a sh!tload of parenting that happens in the in-between.
Exactly what I was trying to say in my post above. I do things that my son doesn't want sometimes because they are best for me and I make no apologies about it. If I'm happy, I'm a better mom and that makes my son happy. There is so much "in-between" as uptownzoo says -- in between "selfishness" and listening to your kids' needs . . .

I'd be happy to drop this whole discussion as well!
post #169 of 197
My daughter is four and we almost always use the stroller when we run to the mall. I hate the mall. I've hated it ever since my son was younger - he has PDD-NOS and the mall was totally overwhelming for him, so when we had to go it was just awful. So when my four year old and I go to the mall I want to get in, get what I need, and get the heck out. Having her in a stroller, almost always munching on snacks, makes it easier for those times once every two-three months when we have to go to the mall for us to get done and get going.

The snippet of time you see a mom with her child in a stroller in the mall is just that - a snippet. The hour (almost never more than an hour, thank heavens!) that I'm pushing my happily snacking daughter in the mall in her stroller does not give you an account of the other hours and hours that child spends bouncing all over the house, the yard, the park, our church. Trust me, being "contained" for an hour every month or two isn't going to hurt her in any way.

As for this:

Quote:
Get a sitter or have someone come to the store with you
Let me know what day is best for you - - - I'm a single stay at home mom, have been for almost four years. I try to get all my errands done while my oldest two are at school (so as not to overload my A/S son), tell me just exactly *who* you expect to go with me, or *where* I'm supposed to come up with the money to pay a sitter!
post #170 of 197
: I was not trying to sound so harsh in my last post. I really don't have a holier than thou attitude (even if it did come off that way).
If my son wont stay with me while we are somewhere then we leave. I personally know people who FORCE their child to ride in a stroller when we are doing something like walking to the park. And the only way the child will stay in the stroller is if they are strapped/tied in. I seriously wonder what these people (and I am talking about the people who I KNOW PERSONALLY) are going to do when their kids are too big for the stroller. They will have to either get a sitter, bring someone with them or figure out a way to get their kid to co operate. I am only stating the obvious and didn't mean for it to sound so cold.

There are lots of places that I don't take my son because he can't handle it, so I am not trying to imply that I am a perfect parent or that my kid is so much better behaved etc...I certainly understand getting a sitter/having someone go with you isn't an option for everyone, and I am really only talking about the people who I personally know who could make other choices. I am sorry if that wasn't clear or if anyone felt judged, because that is NOT where I am coming from.

Honestly, I have never even payed attention to strangers kids in strollers, as far as how old they were etc...never even thought to!!
The only reason this thread even caught my attention is because I have friends who do this with healthy, capable 4 year olds in child friendly situations when the kid wants to walk. And that just doesn't make sense to me. Another example is that they will drag their kids on long personal shopping trips in the mall and the kids are stuck, very unhappy, in the stroller the whole time. That is the kind of situation that I was thinking about when I said get a sitter. If you can go blow $300 on new clothes I think you can afford a sitter for a couple hours. I guess I should have been more clear the first time, because it sounded mean like I was saying don't take your kid to the grocery store with you.

Again, I see NOTHING wrong with kids riding in strollers at any age!!
I really wasn't trying to sound so judgmental!! It is harder to communicate exactly where I am coming from in forum like this versus in person/on the phone, and I need to be careful how I am coming across.

I am really surprised to see how many people make judgments about the random strangers they see and whether or not their kids should be in strollers.

If the kid is happy and safe, then why would it matter??
post #171 of 197
we catch the bus most everywhere and never have a whole lot of walking to do so my dd who is 4 is not in a stroller. we do have one however. if we are going to do a lot of walking or i know she will be sleepy and in need of a nap i take the stroller. lots of ppl question me when i do have her in the stroller but all i say is you try holding her when she's asleep and that shuts them up.
post #172 of 197
I don't think it is strange. DD1 is 3.5 and she rides and walks. We have a ridealong and I let her on and off as she pleases. We take 2-3 multiple-mile walks in the average day and I cannot imagine her being able to walk them all.

We have a number of different baby/child carriers... maya, zolo, hotsling, ergo, bjorn, etc... but DD1 is too tall for them now and DD2 like to be down with her sister and is way to squirmy.

Its is also really, really hard to keep track of the 3.5 yo in crowded situations. She, like her peers in this thread is easily distracted and can wonder off or get in the way. It is much safer to have her in the stroller, as much as she wants to walk, in these situations. Call me crazy, but I thought that was my primary role as her parent to protect her, even when she wants something else.

And to the person who suggested that you get a sitter or someone to help to avoid a stroller... I cannot believe you really have children. Anyone who has children would immedately see how unrealistic that is.

Strollers (like many of the child/baby equipment out there) are not evil and using them as intended is not going to stain your child's soul or cause them to develop some kind of detachment disorder.
post #173 of 197
I too see a lot of preschoolers, sometimes kids that look elementary school aged, in strollers when we're out at stores and at the mall. I completely understand that little legs get tired, and there is nothing wrong with a stroller in that case.

But what really irks me is when I see a healthy (looking), loud and active preschooler being forced into a stroller by parents. I try not to be too judgmental when I don't know anything about the family, but it seems like so many parents force their children into a stroller just so they don't have to deal with them. I see the kid whining and throwing a fit because they don't want to be strapped in. Shouldn't it be a parent's job to take the time to teach their child how to behave in a store? To teach them how to walk by their side and encourage their natural curiosity? I hate it when I see parents using a stroller as a cop out. They just put them in and push them along rather than taking the time to teach them how to behave. It seems to me that's what the OP of this thread was trying to get at...and I agree.
post #174 of 197
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pepper44 View Post
But what really irks me is when I see a healthy (looking), loud and active preschooler being forced into a stroller by parents. I try not to be too judgmental when I don't know anything about the family, but it seems like so many parents force their children into a stroller just so they don't have to deal with them. I see the kid whining and throwing a fit because they don't want to be strapped in. Shouldn't it be a parent's job to take the time to teach their child how to behave in a store? To teach them how to walk by their side and encourage their natural curiosity? I hate it when I see parents using a stroller as a cop out. They just put them in and push them along rather than taking the time to teach them how to behave. It seems to me that's what the OP of this thread was trying to get at...and I agree.
Well, I'm in the process of trying to teach Sprogly how to behave in a store. I don't force stroller use, but I have insisted that he be strapped into a shopping cart seat because he's too excited/out of control, and on occasion I've basically forced him into the cart. This is rare these days, but it happens. Sometimes it's just not an option to leave the store. I'm a single mom working full-time, and there are only so many hours in a day. I don't always have the luxury of the time to make it into a teaching experience. So, the logical consequence of being out of control in the store is that he has to be contained to be safe. I'm taking into consideration not only his safety, but also the fact that I am not physically able to run, so I can't chase him down if he actually runs off. One person's "cop out" is another's necessity.

Also, kids are different, and I've known lots of kids Sprogly's age and younger who just weren't as inclined to run off, and who weren't as impulsive as he is. He has his good days and his bad days, but he's high energy and very impulsive. It's much better now than it was a year ago, when he was 2.5 years old, and people typically took him for a 4 year old.

If it makes you feel better to judge other's parenting, oh well...go right ahead. But you may not know the whole story.
post #175 of 197
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pepper44 View Post
But what really irks me is when I see a healthy (looking), loud and active preschooler being forced into a stroller by parents. I try not to be too judgmental when I don't know anything about the family, but it seems like so many parents force their children into a stroller just so they don't have to deal with them. I see the kid whining and throwing a fit because they don't want to be strapped in. Shouldn't it be a parent's job to take the time to teach their child how to behave in a store? To teach them how to walk by their side and encourage their natural curiosity? I hate it when I see parents using a stroller as a cop out. They just put them in and push them along rather than taking the time to teach them how to behave. It seems to me that's what the OP of this thread was trying to get at...and I agree.
My son will be three in June but looks closer to five and has ASD on top of it. He does hold hand fairly well, but does not respond to his name. Walking by my side is a recipe for disaster. There are times when I put him in the stroller and he is whining and asking to walk, but you know what - I'm often at the end of my rope at those times. I fully admit that I use the stroller at those times for my convenience, or a cop out as you put it. He may complain, whine, or even have a bit of a meltdown, but I'm not snapping or yelling at him and this helps me be the mom I want to be. I only have so much energy to spend and pushing myself to the point of loosing it with him in pursuit of some lofty ideal isn't doing anyone any good.

It has been a long, long road to get to the point where we are now and there will be more to travel before he fully understands acceptable behavior. Even a kid without special needs can have lots of problems learning those concepts and believe it or not, it doesn't necessarilly have anything to do with what the parent is or is not doing - it's just the way the kid is wired. Unless you *really* know these people, you have no way of know what happened before or what will happen after. Judgement is not always wrong, but in my mind there are a heck of a lot more important things to spend it on.
post #176 of 197
Quote:
Originally Posted by zeldabee View Post
Well, I'm in the process of trying to teach Sprogly how to behave in a store. I don't force stroller use, but I have insisted that he be strapped into a shopping cart seat because he's too excited/out of control, and on occasion I've basically forced him into the cart. This is rare these days, but it happens. Sometimes it's just not an option to leave the store. I'm a single mom working full-time, and there are only so many hours in a day. I don't always have the luxury of the time to make it into a teaching experience. So, the logical consequence of being out of control in the store is that he has to be contained to be safe. I'm taking into consideration not only his safety, but also the fact that I am not physically able to run, so I can't chase him down if he actually runs off. One person's "cop out" is another's necessity.
I've forced my kids to ride in shopping carts too. Not only for my convenience but out of consideration for others in the store. Now that they're older, they don't ride in carts of course though they might think it was fun

It was all part of the learning experience.

I wouldn't be surprised if there are some parents who are total control freaks or who don't want to be bothered with their children (I can think of a few actually) but I don't think one can make a judgement with such a small amount of information.
post #177 of 197
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pepper44 View Post
But what really irks me is when I see a healthy (looking), loud and active preschooler being forced into a stroller by parents.
My 3 yo will usually now get into the stroller when she's very tired and wants/needs a nap (I've been asking her if she wants to nap in the bed or in the stroller, and 95% of the time she says in the stroller.) But, 6 months ago, when she needed a nap and was fighting it off, I did have to "force" her into the stroller. She wouldn't be rocked, she wouldn't be carried, anything she knew was going to coax her to sleep was anathema. But, she was also so tired she was falling down, so I considered it better for me, her, and dh, to have 5 minutes of fuss getting her into the stroller (she was calm once we started walking), than hours of cranky, unhappy toddler who would then crash before eating dinner and be up at 11pm or 12am hungry and raring to go.

I'm sure she'll also be in a stroller for a while longer. In NYC, the stroller (foldable, easy to take on the subway) makes it possible for me to get groceries and get to classes and museums and central park with her and know that she has a safe place to nap. I generally work on the practice that if she isn't going to be napping, or if we're going to a place where she can nap, like a friend's house, then we don't need the stroller. Otherwise, we do. But, urban areas and people without cars can be different, I imagine.

I did see an 8-9 year old napping in a stroller at Disney World. I thought it was kind of amusing. (Presumably the family rented it for the 18 month? 2 year? old who was happily eating dinner in mom's lap.) Even if they had just the elementary school girl, I can't see caring about what another parent does. I wouldn't care if my dd did it at that age either, other than thinking with the kids legs dragging on the ground "that can't be comfortable for very long!" Dh said "Do you think there's a chance our stroller will hold me?"
post #178 of 197
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pepper44 View Post
I too see a lot of preschoolers, sometimes kids that look elementary school aged, in strollers when we're out at stores and at the mall. I completely understand that little legs get tired, and there is nothing wrong with a stroller in that case.

But what really irks me is when I see a healthy (looking), loud and active preschooler being forced into a stroller by parents. I try not to be too judgmental when I don't know anything about the family, but it seems like so many parents force their children into a stroller just so they don't have to deal with them. I see the kid whining and throwing a fit because they don't want to be strapped in. Shouldn't it be a parent's job to take the time to teach their child how to behave in a store? To teach them how to walk by their side and encourage their natural curiosity? I hate it when I see parents using a stroller as a cop out. They just put them in and push them along rather than taking the time to teach them how to behave. It seems to me that's what the OP of this thread was trying to get at...and I agree.
I sometimes still make my six year old ride in the shopping cart, and it is generally under protest. Why? Because for SIX years, i've been working with him on impulse control, and not running off, and not touching every single thing that he walks past (and thereby un-facing the shelves and causing the grocery workers to have to loads of exta work). I'm not cop-ing out, but I also have a 19 month old and an almost 4 year old to get through the store, and I can't focus every bit of my attention on my six year old. I just can't. I try to do shopping trips when he's at school, but it isn't always possible. Really, in a grocery store or similar experience, I can count on him to behave in about the same way as my 19 month old. I haven't given up on teaching him, but it hasn't sunk in yet. Until it does, I have to figure out ways to cope and get food into my home.
post #179 of 197
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kristine233 View Post
All my kids look like "healthy normal kids". My 6 year old DS rides in the cart when we grocery shop. It sure beats chasing him while he is launching items or having a meltdown. So yeah, its containment.
I should have just posted a "yeah, that" to this post.
post #180 of 197
Quote:
Originally Posted by eclipse View Post
I sometimes still make my six year old ride in the shopping cart, and it is generally under protest. Why? Because for SIX years, i've been working with him on impulse control, and not running off, and not touching every single thing that he walks past (and thereby un-facing the shelves and causing the grocery workers to have to loads of exta work). I'm not cop-ing out, but I also have a 19 month old and an almost 4 year old to get through the store, and I can't focus every bit of my attention on my six year old. I just can't. I try to do shopping trips when he's at school, but it isn't always possible. Really, in a grocery store or similar experience, I can count on him to behave in about the same way as my 19 month old. I haven't given up on teaching him, but it hasn't sunk in yet. Until it does, I have to figure out ways to cope and get food into my home.


Maybe use internet delivery and order your groceries?
I don't know how good they are though.
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