In our marriage, on anything important, we both have veto power. Period. BUT we don't abuse it at all. "I'm going to veto him, because he vetoed me, nya nya" We also talk about why. We go through a lot to name our children. I like long, classic, traditional, 102 year old little old ladies and men in nursing home names, he likes hippie, short names. We both like the idea of family names. We have incorporated a second middle name that is usually a family name. We try to want what our spouse does, because we love them so much, but sometimes there are mental and emotional attachments (negative) to names that we can't get past. I'll share our names and explain some and see if that helps any. (BTW if anyone has name suggestions, they would be gladly accepted, we haven't found anything that thrills either of us for this baby. We need both boy and girl names. You can PM them to me so I don't hijack the thread.
)Katherine Elizabeth Sophronia
- Katherine is my ggmothers name, Elizabeth is my sister's middle name, but I just like it, Sophronia is another gggma. I wanted to name her this as a first name, but I wasn't sure of the schoolyard teasing),Christian William Dudley
- Christian is my fraternity big brother's name from college, but I just like it, William is my dad and grandpa and every male on both sides of my family going back to the 1600's names, but DH said that as a first name with our last name it sounded like Elmer Fudd talking
(try saying William Waggoner 3 times fast and you'll see his point) He's right, but I was disapointed, Dudley is DH's dad and grandpa's middle name.Johannah Rose Tamilin
-Johannah Rose we just liked, DH's sister who dies when she was 6 and he was 8 was named Tami Lin.Nicholas Frank Joseph
-Nicholas we just liked, Frank Jospeph is DHs other grandpa's name who he lived with for a short while and who was a huge life influence on him. My ggpa (Katherine's DH) was named Frank. I liked it for a first name, DH didn't.Genevieve Malissa Grace
-Genevieve is my gggAunt (Sophronia's sister), Malissa is DH's ggma, Grace just went well with it.
We tend to put less loved, but emotionally important names in a middle name spot. DH's favorite girl name is Autumn. I absolutely HATE it, but if this baby is a girl, she may just have Autumn as a middle name as she will be born in September, so its not too stupid, and I know how much DH loves that name. (Sorry in advance if that is anyone's favorite name!) DH has vetoed pretty much all of my names I had picked out for my children since I was a little girl and I have vetoed a ton of his names. We shoot for a name we both love not just like or can put up with. It takes a lot of work to get to that point, but it is well worth the struggle. FWIW, we also have a few names for boy or girl and don't make the final choice (although we generally have a favorite by that point) until after we meet the baby.
My suggestion is that you make the family name that DH loves (what is it? I'm dying to know!) the baby's middle name if its a girl and find a name you both love as the first name. (Even if it means giving up your favorite name for now, maybe the next baby it can be a middle name.) I'd also gently suggest to DH that since you are using that name that he wants for a middle name that would like a bit more give and take in finding the first name that you both love. FWIW, Its just my suggestion, take it or leave it.
My sister has an interesting naming theory, she says you should yell their full name out your back door and see how it sounds.