I can tell you what I did, and WARNING-its a long post.
I think I had a combination of Post Traumatic Stress, Postpartum Depression, Anxiety, thyroid, "thing" going on after my last baby. The worst part of it all if you ask me, was the anxiety. I don't know if this is the same as a panic attack, but maybe it's similar. At first, I thought I might have Sheehan's Syndrome (a dysfunction of the pituitary gland), from a really bad hemmorrage after my unnattended homebirth. I was unable to lift my head off of the pillow for three weeks following the birth. This ordeal was followed by a lovely uterine infection ending in a D&C from a doctor who made me feel like sh@@. I went on to have a car accident when my baby was seven weeks old and couldn't hold her or wear her in the sling, yet another devistation piled up. I was mourning some great losses at the time, on so many levels. We had recently moved across country, away from our support system.
I thought something was askew with my endocrine system, because I was really sick with no energy, headaches, tired, mood swings, and 'inside shakes'. I didn't cry or feel "depressed", so I was confused as to what could be wrong with me. The endocrine system is complicated to try to understand when you are well, let alone sick and trying to figure it out. Our family had dealt with trauma during the pregnancy which I really believe had predisposed me for the postpartum depression. During eight previous pregnancies, this was the first pregnancy where I had any ppd symptoms or anxiety. I didn't have a backup doctor for the birth, and I felt like some midwives that I called afterwards had a "you made your bed, you lie in it" attitude about helping someone with an unnattended homebirth who was having problems and now calling them for advise. It felt so...well....tacky...to be calling midwives at that point. I was just feeling that desperate that I didn't care, so I called anyway. I did have a feeling like I was on my own to figure it all out after midwives would say things like "I don't know, no one hemmorrages that badly at any of MY births, so I wouldn't know what to tell you".
One dear midwife I did call recommended rescue remedy. Rescue Remedy made me worse, I spent a solid week in bed locked in my room with some pretty ppp (postpartum psycosis) thoughts rolling around in my head after rescue remedy usage. I was too embarrassed to call the midwife back and tell her what happened, I just quit taking the rescue remedy after the first day, but the symptoms lasted for a week. Some people say that if a homeopathic remedy makes you worse, it could be a proving symptom. What ever it was, it was pretty terrifying.
I came upon a combination of hormones and herbs that allowed me to continue nursing and controlled my symptoms. I had the help of a homeopathic doctor, who put me on natural progesterone and estrogen. Then after doing more research, I asked my son's allergist if he could prescribe some more things along this line. He added testosterone, hydrocortisone, 5HTP, and armour thyroid to that. I was stable, and this combination, although costly ($500 per month), literally made the difference in my mental health, and stopped the anxiety symptoms.
I should say that, before I had started taking all of these natural hormones/remedies, I had come home with all of the prescriptions, but my family said we couldn't afford to fill the perscriptions (aka-not a priority at that time). They said things like "wouldn't prozac be cheaper??". I could handle the loss of a lot, but the thought of discontinuing nursing was too painful. I wanted to continue that relationship, and these natural things would allow me to get better and do that. A couple days later the woman in Texas with PPP tragically killed her five children. The money for my medicine was suddenly found after that, the prescriptions from the compounding pharmacy were filled the next day. My Mom and dh started being more sensitive and supportive. They took care of all of my kids, cooking, and house for the entire summer.
I was able to continue nursing dd. I feel very blessed and fortunate for the support I did recieve. I do wish deep down, that they would have supported me before the Texas incident. So, that's a little sad for me.
From this point I began to see the correlation between stress and my symptoms. I was completely stable by 9/11, and almost ready to begin taking care of my kids again, but as I watched the horror on television, my anxiety symptoms doubled. I went to a CNM to talk about monitoring me should I need to double my medication or what she thought I should do. She didn't think I needed to increase the meds, but sent me to the counselor that worked in her office. I adored this counselor (but couldn't afford to see her more than once or twice). We talked about different coping skills like lowering the bar on expectations, and using the childbirth breathing exersises that I used during birth to cope with anxiety attacks. I was able to use my doula training and breathing techniques to relax myself enough to get the symptoms back they way they were before 9/11, without having to increase the medication. This caused me to think...."hmmm...If I can chill out enough to deal with 9/11 and control those anxiety symptoms with breathing and relaxation, could I get twice as relaxed and go off all my meds?"
As luck would have it, I had a chance meeting with a very well respected retired midwife that same week. I was able to pull her aside and ask her some questions about my situation. I was concerned about the cost of the medication and the stress my condition was putting on my family. She gave me the best advise, that if I would keep things "simple and sacred" in my life, I would get better and be able to go off of my medication.
I kept repeating "simple and sacred", "simple and sacred", it was my new mantra (or my first one

). Anything that was not simple or sacred, I removed from my life. (for example, the homeschool group we belonged to was fighting amonst themselves, so we quit going). Unbelieveably, I was able to go off of all of the medication cold turkey. Our family was going on a vacation, so I thought it would be a good chance to relax and try to go off the medication. I did have a months worth of meds incase I should relapse. I went off the medication with no problems as long as I didn't let anything stress me out. I went from having several anxiety attacks per day to none while on medication to symptoms coming back twice as bad after 9/11 to going off of medication and having very few anxiety attacks. WHEW! Now I'm tired! It's been almost 2 years now off of the medication.
I can't remember my last anxiety attack before a month ago-this was after my first colonics treatment-uggh! It brought back my symptoms big time that were previously under control (I thought?) I have recently taken thyroid and adrenal support from Natures Sunshine, and started using the extra month of medication that I had left over from 2 years ago. I went back for a second colonics that cleared those symptoms, and she saw a lot of candida. I have felt some little twinges of anxiety, like yesterday morning when I put my son on a plane. Or recently when we considered moving again. I just every once in a while remind myself again of "simple and sacred", and it seems to give me a clearer focus for what's really important. I think I may always have a little anxiety, just under the surface if I get under too much stress, maybe that's the post traumatic stress part of it. Recently I found out (from the colon therapist) I have Candida, so I am going to try a course of that special diet. Anxiety has been an ongoing thing to deal with for me over the past three years. I hope that sharing this story may help someone!