Impossible Husband - Please Help!

[Pyxi]

I absolutely adore my DH, except when it comes to food. I kid you not, this is what he will eat (dinner/lunch):

Healthy:
Chicken Breast (skin on or off, plain or breaded, no sauces)
Turkey Breast (cold-cut type)
Iceberg Lettuce (no dressing)
Baby carrots
Green peppers
cucumbers
white rice
Steak (very occassionally)
Corn

Unhealthy:
Chicken Nuggets
Chicken tenders
French Fries
Mozzerella sticks (Fried mozzerella)
Pepperoni pizza
Sausage pizza
Hamburger (plain, with ketchup)
Hot Dogs
White Bread
Tacos (from El Paso mix, meat and shells only)

Will not eat:
Green veggies
Pasta
Melted cheese (except on pizza)
Tomatoes
Pretty much anything that doesn't appear on the lists above.


I'm not exaggerating. He CAN not eat anything else. I have asked him to try. He gags, he makes awful faces, and I can tell that he really wants to like it, but he just can't. It's as if he just cannot tolerate more than 1 flavor at a time. He never dips his chicken or fries in any kind of sauce (except ketchup). He told me a story about how he wanted to make his family proud as a boy by trying mashed potatoes and he gagged them all over the table.
I honestly believe that he can't tolerate certain textures or flavors. It's like his tastebuds/sensors get overstimulated way too easily.

I want so badly to be crunchy. I make healthy organic and fresh choices for myself all of the time. Usually I'm broiling some fish and making myself a salad while I pop bagged nuggets and fries into the oven for him. I hate this. I'm so scared for his health if he continues this way. We're expecting our first baby this month and I don't want his bad diet to influence our son. I can see it now: Mama, Daddy doesn't eat broccoli, I don't want it!

Please, if anyone has any advice or can give me some suggestions I would openly welcome them. I know it sounds crazy but it's a reality. I want my hubby to be healthy and eat well without forcing him to feel horrible because he just can't (not won't) like things.

[sarah10998]

What a hard thing for you and your husband. One thing I thought of was soes the so-called unhealthy foods have to be that way? homemade nuggets and tenders can be made with a whole grain coating and baked not fried. Lower fat cheeses can be used on a homemade pizza with a partial whole grain crust. If you make a pizza sauce can he tolerate pureed veggies in it?I would be concerned about your soon-to-be children esp because his problems are not just because he won't try anything new. HTH at least a little bit I will keep thinking.

[Pyxi]

I have tried making things alternately, like you said, with different coatings. He'll eat it baked rather than fried, but he can usually taste the difference between regular pizza crust and pizza crust with wheat in it.

It's not that he doesn't try new things, because he tries stuff all of the time. He just can't tolerate the taste/texture.

[Justmee]

aaw tough situation!

It sounds like your husband wants to change this. He wants to try new things. I would suggest he go to the dr. and get a referel to a dietian. S/he can help you with different feeding stuff, making the healthiest menus from what he has, and slowly adding new things. I forget what it's called, but one technique is gradual change. FE: Start with something the person will eat (ice cream FE). Identify what it is they like about it. Look for healthier foods that match those things. If you want the person to get to yogurt from ice cream you might try freezing it first, finding simmilar flavors (not too tart of a yogurt) and gradualy you work them towards eating yogurt. In your husband's case maybe you can move from hamburgers to a slightly courser burger you make, to meatballs, to a meatloaf (where you can blend in veggies).

I have a few texture issues, (not nearly as severe) and I kwym about what a turn off it can be, how hard it is to just "get over" I really think he needs to speak to a dietian (to suggest simmilar foods, and the best menus with what he WILL eat) and possibly an OT about feeding theropy and helping him expand teh pallette.

[papschmitty]

Oh, how I feel your pain! We are in a very similar boat. My husband is a meat and potatoes kind of guy and I mean that quite literally. Plain meat and plain potatoes. Here's a small sampling from his "no" list:
onions
peppers
tomatoes
almost all vegetables
salad dressing
cream cheese
sour cream
mayo
anything even remotely creamy
fish
ethnic foods of any kind (except mole sauce, go figure)

He loves junk out of a like box Rice-a-roni, Cup-O-Noodle, chili out of the can, Totino's cardboard pizza. In fact, I made a delicious beef and broccoli and dinner tonight. He barely touched it and now he's in front of the TV eating microwave popcorn. He also had a serious sweet tooth, I won't even get into his candy addiction.

Just the smell of certain things like vinegar or potato salad make him literally gag. He also doesn't like any "fancy" foods or a lot of flavors mixed together. He seems to be very weird about consistency too. He was forced to eat all sorts of things that he didn't like as a child, even to the point of vomiting. I blame his parents for his weird food issues. It didn't bother me so much when it was just the two of us but it's really urks me now that we have a child. I don't want her eating the crap that he does. He doesn't expect me to cook anything special for him. When I make new dishes, he'll politely say "I'm sure it's good, it's just not for me". I knew he was like this before I married him so I try my best to accept him the way he is. What I do now is bring home a cook book and have him mark all the recipes that sound good to him. Anything healthy that he likes goes into our regular rotation. It's my dream to find at least a few weeks worth of different recipes that we all like. Unfortunately, DD seems to be following in his foot steps. She's VERY picky and seems to have consistency issue too. Ugh!

Sorry I don't have any more suggestions for you. I just wanted you to know that you're not alone!

[Ersbett]

to you mammas luckily I have a very healthy eating DH, he's a cardiologist, he will not eat a hamburger unleast it's homemade, with a lot of lettuce, onion and tomatoes and also he eat homemade pizza(low fat cheese of course) every food of that kind have to be homemade or else he will not at it.
He's a cardiologist, he wants to take care of himself

I will suggest this: take him to a dr becuase as he gets older it can cuase heart problems besides another things.

[Pyxi]

Originally Posted by Ersbett

: as he gets older it can cuase heart problems besides another things.

That's what I'm most afraid of, and why I made this post.

Thanks Paps, it's good to know that I have someone else in my boat. I just want him to be healthy. I want him to make good choices. But for him eating healthy is chicken breast and iceberg lettuce every day, since he can't tolerate anything else.

It gets so boring. I'm even willing to try recipes where I can take some ingredients out for him and make a seperate, more tasty version for myself. The worst part is that I absolutely love to cook, and I love to try all kinds of new things. It is so frustrating. I like the idea of going to a nutritionist, and I'll talk to him about that. We have discussed it before and he agreed it was a good idea. We just have to follow through.

[sparklefairy]

That would make me nuts!

I'm not sure how much better I would be for family harmony, because I would refuse to eat the processed crap you've mentioned -- not that I never eat crap, but I've never tried the particular things you've mentioned and I don't want to.

[Hey Mama!]

Well, we have the flip side here. I'm the impossible one. I have serious food texture issues stemming from childhood so a lot of things I can't eat without gagging/barfing. While my palate is not as limited as your dh's, it does need work. My dh loves to cook and likes to try new recipes. I try to eat them, I really do but when your stomach is turning flips it's hard to put on a happy face. I have gotten better as I've gotten older, but it is a long process.

[pumpkin]

I feel your pain.

My DH is an incredibly picky eater. When his family invites us to dinner they assume he will be picking up McDonald's on the way and not actually eating with the rest of us. I like to experiment. I love one-dish meals that reheat well. He hates sauces, most vegetables, and especially any kind of complexity. He won't eat anything with onions. Almost every recipe I have starts with saute one onion. I hate that I can't be creative and food boredom is a huge issue.

His mother has actually taken me aside and apologized for the situation. When he was young he was incredibly sick for years. He spent much of his first few years in the hospital. Everyone was so desperate for him to just eat something that they just let him eat french fries and such as the standard.
I totally understand why they did what they did. In their position I might have done the same. But its still frustrating to have a DH that could live on a diet of 100% fast food if I didn't push him a little.

[mom de terre]

Uhh! My dh is a really picky eater too! And a vegetarian! When we first met he lived on morningstar chick patties, pizza, ramen noodles, and bagels. The ONLY vegetable he would eat was raw baby spinach. It was a huge issue for me because I strongly believe in healthy eating and that families should eat together every night. I love to cook, and honestly it hurt my feelings to see him picking around or ignoring a meal I had put a lot of thought into.

My dh sensed that this might be a deal breaker for me, and he has really tried to improve. I understand that there are some things (mayo, onions, bananas, cheesy sauces, the white part of bok choy : ) that can never appear on the menu; he "tries" almost everything else. Forcing himself to try things over and over has habituated him to a number of foods. He doesn't necessarily LIKE many vegetables, but he can eat them without gagging now.

I try to figure out ways to accommodate him too. FE, he doesn't really like cauliflower, but if I pan fry it with breadcrumbs, it's "not too bad." Since chunks are a big issue, I make purees a lot. Will your husband eat lentils or bean soups? Those are popular around here and I always sneak some veggies into them before I puree.

I always try to put one thing he really likes on the menu. Also, I tell him the whole week's menu in advance. I think he's more adaptable when he knows what's coming.

Okay, last thing. I do all of the grocery shopping, and I just don't buy a lot of the junk he would fill up on if it were in the house. If he wants frozen pizza, he has to go out and buy it himself. Since that's usually too much work , he settles for homemade whole wheat instead.

Can you tell this is a major deal for me?!

[MeghansDad]

"Unhealthy:
Chicken Nuggets
Chicken tenders
French Fries
Mozzerella sticks (Fried mozzerella)
Pepperoni pizza
Sausage pizza
Hamburger (plain, with ketchup)
Hot Dogs
White Bread
Tacos (from El Paso mix, meat and shells only)"

Most of these items can be found in a healthier form .... turkey, chicken, soy, or at least organic. It can be tough to switch folks sometimes but take small steps.

[Tcarwyn]

hey...does your dh maybe have sensory intergration disorder? I worked with kids who had that and they had the same food issues. Might check into it...

Tanya

[Pyxi]

I"m thinking it's possible Tanya.. I'll look into it. Thanks

[Phyra02]

I thought I was the only one with an impossible SO. Mine loves eating fast food and "hates" anything else. He is not as bad as others but I have learned to just make meals for him (without asking his opinion) and letting him try it. Most of the time he likes it. As an example, I wanted to make salisbury steak and asked him if he liked it. He told me that he hated it. I made it with some basmati rice and mushrooms. Mind you he "hates" all of these foods. So imagine how surprised I was when he went into the kitchen and scarfed down a huge heaping plate. This from the man that will dip his fries in mayo, and slathers mayo on everything.

[pixiesmommy]

Mine only wants meat. All of the time. He will go to the grocery store in the middle of the night because he craves it so bad- so keeping it out of the house just doesn't work for us.

I'm not a vegetarian by any means, but I have to have veggies and fruit!!

Cooking can be a challenge in my house because we both love to cook, but he likes cooking Indian food and the curry smell alone makes me literally GAG, and I like comfort food from my Southern upbringing and the smell of sauerkraut makes him gag.
Sometimes one of us has to leave the house, or at least the room, while the other eats.