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Apathetic

post #1 of 15
Thread Starter 
I have a bit of a concern. My due date is Sep. 6 and I have not bought anything for my baby! Everyone acts like this is shocking. I do feel a little apathetic, but I think it's because the baby still doesn't seem real to me. I kept saying that it would feel really when I felt it move, but that didn't happen. Is there something wrong with me? Also, I don't want to buy alot of stuff because I don't know if I'll need it, kwim? I don't see the point in buying baby clothes till I know what the sex is, cause if it's a girl I won't need any (SIL had a baby girl a year ago and got enough outfits to wear a new one everyday with no repeats ). I just don't know what else I'll need, besides cloth diapers (which I am putting on my registry) and a couple of different slings (that I'm also putting on my registry). Of course I'll also buy a carseat, but anything else I figured we'd play by ear.

I guess I just feel bad cause I don't have alot of warm, motherly feelings yet. I used to be one of those people who would coo at babies in the grocery store! Now I hardly notice

What's wrong with me?
post #2 of 15
Well, you're probably scared, and if this is #1, who wouldn't be? I don't think not buying anything yet is a sign of anything! Gosh, I was totally excited during my pregnancy with DS, but I don't think I bought anything until my third trimester.

And I think LOTS of people don't feel warm, motherly feelings until the baby is actually in their arms. Unless you are really feeling depressed/ down/ "not right" in some way, I'd say you're perfectly normal.
post #3 of 15
Well, you still have quite a bit of time before the baby comes. I don't think it is shocking that you haven't bought anything. Plus you said you had a registry so that means your are thinking about things right?
Don't worry about what people say. I think people have this idea that as soon as you get the positive test you have to run out and buy every single baby gagdet and article of clothing and have "the nursery" set up 6 months before the baby arrives. Umm, no! You can if you want of course, but it's also fine to wait.
post #4 of 15
If it makes you feel better, I'm due two days after you, and I have nothing either! I think my problem is that I'm somewhat superstitious about buying baby things, especially since I'm with you - it doesn't seem at all real. I'm not feeling any real movement yet, and although I've heard the heartbeat, it seems too abstract. And, I too am not really attached at all, I'm guessing it will come with time. I wouldn't worry - I figure a baby doesn't really need all that much at first! I'm sure you'll be fine :
-Julie
post #5 of 15
I didn't have barely anything for my son before he was born (I didn't know what I was having either). I think I was a bit superstitious. Most everything we got for him was after he was born. You don't need a whole lot in the those first days anyway.
post #6 of 15
I also due Sept. 6th, and so far I've only bought a few unisex outfits from a thrift store. I, too, feel a bit disconnected from my baby, and I think it's because I've had 5 miscarriages, and I'm trying to protect my heart in case something goes wrong this pregnancy, too. We have our big ultrasound in 2 days, and hopefully once we see that the baby is healthy I can start relaxing.

There is plenty of time to buy things for Baby - over 20 weeks left! I wouldn't worry quite yet...
post #7 of 15
Hey.

I didn't buy anything until the last month or so before birth. I bought a few outfits at a great garage sale right after my ultrasound when I found out it was a girl.....

I have not bought anything for this baby yet bc if it's a girl (hoping) I have enough stored from dd that this baby won't have to change clothes for a year or more...LMAO (all my friends had girls)...The seasons will be off a tad but dd will be 3 in a week or so and still has a few 3-6 mo tops that fit her...it's crazy the sizing for different companies...

If it's a boy, I'll have to buy some clothes and maybe a less girly sling or two.

Our carseat for dd was navy with jungle animals on it...very GN..

I have bought some diapers but they are natural colored and yellows/greens....

But other than that....I am not buying anything. I played it by ear with dd and bought what we needed when we needed it...and watched my friends wade through the 50 or so receiving blankets and other things they thought they needed...

I am also SERIOUSLY underpacking for the trip to the hospital this time.....those lists they have and recommend what you pack are bullcrap...LMAO....I would love a homebirth but with dd's dystocia I think I will be more chill in a hospital. Plus, my insurance won't cover homebirth...but my birth with dd was pretty dam@ close!!!!

I am due 5 days before you.
post #8 of 15
Dont let the whole $ spending= love of this unhealthy society get you guilty, Believe me youll find a ton of reasons to really feel guilty and this isnt worth your energy, All of my pregnancies felt surreal and even though in my last trimester I made eforts to verbally connect remember your babe is a part of you and chose you, this lil one knows how much you will love and enjoy it and if other mamas feel the manifestation of that should be material, you should take this as your first experience in the many strokes of different folks!
You are a Mama among Many who experience the surrealism of 1st time motherhood, start fending off those judgemental vibes now!!!
post #9 of 15
I think there's plenty of time to shop. Especially if you, like me, are not really sure what you will actually need, what others will buy for you, etc.

On the disconnected front, I feel the same way...This is my first pregnancy and its seems a bit surreal to me still. I am thinking that after the 20w ultrasound (actually, mine will be 21w, but who's counting ) it might sink in more. I think its totally natural to be a little weirded out by this whole thing...and the idea of having a new little person inside you that is solely dependent on YOU is a pretty huge thing to wrap your head around!

But the only thing I have purchased is a small photo album that I put the pics from our 11w ultrasound in along with some congratulatory cards that people have sent us. We'll get there!
post #10 of 15
I'm "due" Sept. 1st. and haven't bought a thing for baby. A few folks have given us some clothing as gifts but that's it. Maternity clothes on the other hand, that's a differnt story

The buying stuff for baby freaks me out. I strolled into a Baby r us a few weeks ago and was so overwhelmed, I almost started to cry and had to leave the store.:
post #11 of 15
I would just spend this time reveling in what you body can do. You don't have to spend money in order to connect with a part of you.

The time will (probably) come when you will want to do more and there isn't necessarily that much to do, even for a first baby. (a few dipes and tees, the rest will happen)
post #12 of 15
I'm somewhat on the same page w/ you.. I have bought some stuff, but I know in my heart, I can return them for full refund..

For me, I've suffered 2 m/c before the birth of my son... When I was diagnosed w/ cancer when my ds was 8mths old, I bascially started chemo a few mths later, realizing I was probably not going to be able to have any more children..

And then I became pregnant... For me, I sadly accepted the fact that I probably couldn't have any more children, so even though I'm pregnant it still really hasn't sank in... This carried me thru telling family, even though I knew they'd be thrilled beyond belief, I still struggled w/ telling them our news.. I think as i couldn't process it myself, I could handle telling people.. I did kinda force myself to get over my fears, but sadly I still go into the doctor's house wondering, "are they going to find the heartbeat".... For me, this will probably be the my last pregnancy, and I think my fear and apprehension will probably stay with me, until my baby is in my arms..

I wonder if you will really realize the life you have inside, once you really feel those powerful kicks.. Or perhaps maybe an ultrasound will help you connect with the beautiful wonder inside..

best of luck!!
post #13 of 15
I am feeling somewhat disconnected as well. I am a first time mom-to-be and haven't felt movement yet...so it is all a bit surreal to me too. I have my big ultrasound in 2 weeks and think that I will then feel much more connected. I also have not bought a thing yet.
post #14 of 15
No baby purchases here yet either. I have been given a crib and craddle from family to borrow. We sat up the craddle this weekend. It is beautiful! The craddle mattress has a "BabeSafe" crib death protector-cover over it. REad about it here. A note came with it that if we wanted a crib mattress cover to let said family member know too. Has anyone used this before or believe in the theory of fumes from the matress?? We were sorta surprised to read about it.

I started to feel baby move this weekend! I wonder what it is doing every time it moves!

My husband and I also did the "ring" test last night to find out the gender. Or guess at the gender I should say. We plucked a strand of my hair-- dangled my hubby's wedding band from it and dangled it over the palm of my hand at which point it slowly started to rotate in a circular motion. Then we dangled it over my hubby's palm of his hand-- for his it rocked in a back and forth motion. THEN the baby test... we dangled it over my bulging belly..... and it rocked back and forth thus a BOY! We find out for sure on 4/27 at my 20 week ultrasound! After that half way point I will be a tad bit more registry and what not aware.
post #15 of 15
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mystic Mama View Post
Dont let the whole $ spending= love of this unhealthy society get you guilty, Believe me youll find a ton of reasons to really feel guilty and this isnt worth your energy,
This is so true! I've even experienced that feeling of maybe I'm not loving my child enough since I didn't run out and buy every fancy schmancy baby gear thingy out there. I've even had moments (very brief moments) of thinking that I was short changing my child beacuse I didn't have a crib nevermind the themed nursery. With my son, I was pleasantly surprised to realize that he didn't need or have any use for a gagillion toys in the diaper bag everywhere we went or so many of the other little baby gadgets or even a crib. That's why I feel it's a good thing to wait and see what I'll need verus buying everything and realizing that I didn't need half of it. But that's just me, I know some mamas like to plan things out and have everything ready and that's just fine too. Just know that you'll still be an excellent mama without all of it and you can always go out and get it later!

And I didn't buy a lot of things for my son because I was afraid that something would happen to him (like he would die) and then I'd have all this baby stuff and no baby. It's a morbid way to think, but I couldn't shake that feeling.
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