Argh!

[Earthly_Joys]

How do I control my feelings? Normally I'm pretty good at it....there have been times when I'm allover the place but for the most part, I'm strong.

I'm not strong now. Now, I'm mad. I know this is going to sound like I'm complaining (and I am) but come on! My sister in law just announced that she is pregnant. Congrats! Wow! That is so great...NOT! Did I mention that her first two children were removed by social services a month ago because of the environment she had them in. Oh, she also gave birth to a baby and placed it for adoption because her husband did not like that the baby was white. (Not his baby, he was in jail..she was with someone else...he got out of jail..you get the idea.) So now she is pregnant. -bangs head against desk-

How do I swallow this? Yes, I'm jealous and immature. "it's not fair" is not something adults should say...I understand all of that but come on! She is the last person who should be blessed. She's practically homeless and her husband is in jail again..she just lost her other kids and will probably lose this one too. Sigh.

[kristenok18]

Oh, EarthlyJoys, I'm sooo sorry. I think I would be feeling the same way if I were in your shoes. It's so hard to watch someone making those kinds of choices and having babies they don't want in normal circumstances, but throw in IF and it's just torture.

[pampered_mom]

infertility just plain stinks!

[Dea]

EarthyJoys, you are singing my song! I don't think that you are immature at all. I feel the same way about my brother somedays who has a 3 year old that he takes for granted. It's not fair, not at all.

[papschmitty]

I'm so sorry, IF sucks! I'm a nurse in a family planning office. My primary role is to do pregnancy tests, options counseling, and then family planning education. I'm in a sattelite clinic in the local welfare office. It was sooooo hard to see BFPs all day long, especially since many of them were unplanned and resulted in abortion. I'm not judging a woman's right to choose, nor am I trying to open up a debate about it. I'm just saying it was really hard to see so many unintended pregnancies in women who found them devastating when I was dying trying to have a baby of my own. It just felt so unfair. I stopped trying to understand it and just tried to have compassion for these women and help them however I could. It was still really hard though. I just kept telling myself that God had a plan for me and I didn't need to try to understand it.

[Dena]

Oh, honey. That is just too sad for words. Honestly, I would like to think that would infuriate anyone, whether dealing with IF or not! So I don't think you should have to "swallow" it. She put herself in a stupid situation and I don't think not feeling sorry for her is wrong at all. But then I can be a really harsh little b**** sometimes. Especially over stuff like this.

I don't think getting angry and "losing it" as you put it over something like that is immature at all. In fact, I don't think getting angry and losing it over simply the injustice of having to deal with infertility, without any triggering events, is immature. What we are or have had to deal with in our lives just plain sucks, and sometimes a throwing a fit or having a pity party is just fine.